Sashe 189

aje asibitin saboda tsoron allura......ganin ban samu shigowa da safen ba sai nace bari mu shigo mu gaida maamah saimu wuce gida" Ya amsa mata yana goge mata jiki da tissue. "Allah ya sawwaqe.......Allah ya inganta......mu saidai mu tayaku da addu'a ai,shekara ashirin rabona da haihuwa yanzu haka" Ta fada cikin raha tana murmushi. Murmushi sabreen ta saki,sai a yanxun ta gano bakin zaren,wato shima musaddiq yayi nashi aikin. Murmushin da yazo wuyan maamah ya tsaye mata,sai taga kaman dariya sabreen take mata,kaman sabreen tana gaya mata KE DIN LOSER ce,kowa yaci nasara a kanki,abinda ya sanya wani tari ya sarqeta ta soma qoqarin zamowa daga saman wheelchair din saboda yadda zaman ya gagareta. "Subhanallah" Musaddiq ya fadi da sauri yana isa gareta ya tareta kafin takai qasa. Hawaye ne suka qwace mata,inama ace tana da ikon tureshi,ba shakka da sai tayi masa mummunar turewar da bazai sake sha'awar zuwa kusa da ita ko kawo mata dauki ba. Ciccibarta yayi yana maidata saman wheelchair din sannan ya daureta da belt din da suke jiki. Komawa yayi gabanta ya zauna yana duban fuskarta yana kallon gumin da yake tsatstsafo mata. Ba ita ba.....shi kansa radadi zuciyarsa take masa,saidai akwai banbancin radadin da yakeji da kuma wanda ita yakeji. Ita nata radadin na baqincikin rayuwar wasu ne,qyashi da kuma baqar hassada. Yayin da nasa radadin ya ta'allaqa ne da yadda kullum zuciyarta ke sake gurbacewa,duk da irin yanayin da take ciki,duk da irin qalubalen da take fuskanta amma hakan bai sanya ta haqura ta ajiye koma meye da yake zuciyarta ba. "Maamah" Ya kira sunanta kai tsaye da wani irin sauti bayan ya yiwa masu aikin alamar su fita. Jajayen idanunta ta daga ta kalleshi dasu,tana da magana fal bakinta saidai ba damar hakan. "Kiyiwa Allah.....kiwa manzon Allah......na roqeki ko meye muka yi miki a rayuwa.....ba domin kanmu ba don lafiyar jikinki ki manta da komai........ki duba girman Allah ki sassautawa zuciyarki......haba mana!" Ta furta da wani irin bacin rai da yakeji yana taso masa. Idanu tsaf ta zuba masa,abinda ke nuna inda bakinta a bude yake tabbas da yaji maganganu,saidai ko a iya kallonta a kansa kawai ya shaida masa maganarsa ta shigeta da wani kalar mamaki. "Ba wanda ya isa ya canza qaddarar wani.....ba wata qaddara da zata sauya kanta da kanta sai wadda ubangiji da kansa yaso sauyata.......ba wani dan adam da zai tsarawa wani rayuwarsa......kowa da yadda Allah ya tsara masa.... Me yasa ba zaki hutar da zuciyarki ba?" Ya sake fadi yau din yana jin zuciyarsa takai maqura.......a yau din yana jin yana yanke dukkanin tsammaninsa da sauyawar halaye da dabi'un maamah. "Ki yafe mana idan mun miki wani abun.....me zaki ragu dashi?" Ya qara tambayarta yana kallonta. Ba amsa,amma still hawayen basu daina fita ba "Ko bayan an cuceka ka yafe.....ba zaka ragu da komai ba sai qaruwar daraja a gunka......ki yafe mana indai mun miki laifi muddin kedin ke kika haifemu" Ya qara fada yana hade hannayensa waje daya alamun roqo. "Indai kun yadda ni din nice na haifeku me yasa ba zaku yimin abinda nakeso ba?,indai kun yarda nice na haifeku me yasa ba zakubi umarnina ba?,me yasa ba zaku kwanta nayi muku mulki irin na isassun iyaye ba?,me yasa ba zaku fahimci asiri akayimin ba?,me yasa ba zaku gane ba hawan jini bane wannan?!" Wadannan sune kalaman da suke ta kokawa a qirjinta suke koma neman hanyar da zasu fidda kansu,saidai kuma ba wannan damar,illa hawayen baqincikin rashin samun damar magana da batayi ba da suka sake wanke mata fuska. Tsam ya miqe kawai,ya kama hannun amna da jikinta ya sakeyin laushi qwarai bayan aman da tayi,ya miqa mata takalminta ta sakawa qafafunta suka fice a parlor din sabreen da maamah na binsu da kallo,kowa da mabanbancin yanayi cikin zuciyarsa. Tausayin musaddiq da hammanta kullum take kwana take tashi,bata tunanin duk yadda sukaso maamah ta shiryu idan har ubangijin daya halicceta bai shirya mata hakan ba saidai kowa yayi haquri. A zuwan da take dubata da duba yanayin gidan da masu kula da ita.....ba kalan lokutan da bata kebe ba zaune da ita,daga ita sai maamah din ta karanta mata dukkan kalar wata nasiha me ratsa jiki da zuciya......amma bata taba ganin alamun rusuna ko sanyi daga idanuwanta ba.