Sashe 93
Bayan Na Mutu Part 1 Complete Hausa Novel · about 8 min read
"Inaga kamar akwai wani da ake cewa kulin kuli fita..."
Sautin dariyarta ne ya katse shi daga k'arasawa, dariyarta mai dad'in gaske da kunnensa ya saba da jinta a kwanakin nan, amma kuma zuciyarsa ta kasa karb'ar sabon, don duk sanda taji ta sai ta fitar da wani rad'ad'i dake watsuwa a k'irjinsa.
"Me ya baki dariya?"
Yana ganin yadda tayi saurin tsaida kanta ta hanyar cije lebb'enta na k'asa sannan ta girgiza kai alamun babu komai.
A lokacin ne ya rasa dukkan wata dauriyarsa ya mik'a hannunsa ya rik'o d'aya natan sannan muryarsa k'asa-k'asa yace.
"Zan iya samun amsata a cikin dariyar nan?"
Murmushin fuskarta bai tafi gabad'aya ba amma kuma bata ce komai ba, me hakan yake nufi?
Nasara ko akasinta? tunaninsa ya dagule zuwa wajaje daban-daban, ya rasa wanne zai tsamo ya d'auko bashi mazaunin a lokacin, sai ya k'ara sauke muryarsa can k'asa sosai kamar mai rad'a ya kira sunanta.
"Fadeelah, jiya bayan na barki ban iya barci ba ko kad'an, tunani kala-kala zuciyata ta dinga yi akan irin amsar da zan samu a wajenki, ban sani ba ko kin shirya fad'a min ita a yanzu amma ina son ki sani cewa duk abinda zaki yanke kar kiyi la'akari da rayuwarki ta baya ko kuma irin k'addarar data had'a mu, wannan duk abu ne daya riga ya wuce kuma bamu da iko akansa.
Amma a cikin zukatanmu zamu iya canja komai, Allah ya bamu damar da a yanzu zamu iya sake labarinmu ya tafi daidai da irin rayuwar da zamu shimfida a gaba, we have a whole new chance to rewrite all those sad and angry memories of our lives and create a better us that will shine the future."
Ya san ya tab'o wani abu mai girma a rayuwarta da wannan maganar, ya tab'o wani babban b'angare dake rufta zuciyarta a kullum, don a lokaci guda yanayin fuskarta ya canja zuwa na wata Fadeelan daban ba wadda ta fito da annashuwa ba.
Kuma yana sane yayi hakan, don a jiya babu irin tunanin da bai yi ba na irin abubuwan da zasu sa Fadeelah ta kasa amincewa dashi, kuma a cikinsu zuciyarsa ta yarda cewa wannan dalilin yafi dukkanin sauran k'arfi, babban rauninta shine rayuwarta ta baya da take wa kallon hargitsi wanda in har zuciyarta na rik'e da hakan ba zata tab'a barinta ta cigaba ba, abubuwa zasu cigaba da rugujewa ne a duk lokacin data tuno hakan, shi yasa ya kudiri niyyar rage tasirin wannan tunanin nata don ya san ba zai tab'a iya goge shi baki d'aya ba.
Ta girgiza kanta tana k'okarin zame hannayenta amma ya sake rik'e su gam, cikin sigar rik'on da yake son ta fahimci cewa daga yanzu yana tare da ita a kowanne irin yanayi.
"Bana tunanin akwai wata rayuwa da zanyi a gaba da zata goge dukkan tabon dake rayuwata, bana jin akwai wani abu da zai mutane su manta matsayin da suka san ni dashi a baya, tabo wani abu ne da baya tab'a barin d'an Adam, don haka ko mutuwa nayi na tabbata duk wanda ya sani zai tuno ni da wad'annan tarin tabon dana riga na samu, don duk da 'yancin dana samu a yanzu bana jin zan tab'a zama wani abu mai daraja a idon duniya."
Tsawon wucewar wasu sakanni, Adam bai ko kifta idanunsa balle yayi wani motsi, zuciyarsa tana b'antarewa ne jin cewa da gaske hasashensa game da ita gaskiya ne, har a yanzu tana ganin kanta a matsayin mara daraja saboda mutane kawai.
Zuciyarsa ta matse da irin zurfin da yaji a muryarta, ya had'iye yawu a hankali sanda wani abu ya mai girma ya cika k'irjinsa.
A hankali ya mik'a hannunsa d'aya ya shafi gefen fuskarta, ta rufe idanunta amma bata motsa ba, tana k'ame a wajen kamar abunda baya numfashi, zai iya k'irga sautin bugun zuciyarta.
"Kin san wani abu lealah?
We all have scars and they are an important part of our lives, sune abinda ke nuna rauni da gazawarmu a matsayin 'yan adam, I have alot of my own too, amma hakan baya nufin zan kyale su su
durk'usar dani a cigaban rayuwata.
Misali, a lokacin dana gama high school na gano cewa iyayen da nake tare dasu basu ne asalin mahaifana ba, abun yayi min ciwo sosai, zuciyata ta shiga zullumi da damuwa tsawon lokaci, har sai da mates d'ina suka yi joining
college ina zaune a gida babu abinda nake yi.
A lokaci d'aya kuma sai tunanina yayi hankali, ya bani shawarar cewa rayuwa ba zata tsaya ba don kawai an samu tangard'ar wani abun, living with the past will only make me more vulnerable and frail, zan k'are rayuwata ne ba tare dana samu komai ba, saboda haka rana d'aya kawai na tashi na sami wani littafi da biro na rubuta sabon labari akaina, na tsara komai ya tafi daidai da mafarkina har zuwa matsayin da nake a wancan lokacin, sannan na fara kokarin cigabawa daga nan, ya zama duk sanda wani abu na kewaye na ke kokarin tuna min da zahiri sai in d'auko labarin nan in karanta in kuma cigaba da inda na tsaya."
A wannan lokacin ta bud'e idanunta ta kalle shi, akwaibkyallin hawaye a idanunta amma sai tayi dariya...
Rana ta farko kenan da tayi dariya tana kallonsa, kyallin hakan kuma ya haska har cikin zuciyarsa yasa shi murmushin da bai shirya ba don abin yaso ya bashi mamaki, waye yake kuka yana dariya a lokaci d'aya?
"Ta yaya mutum yake canja labarinsa kuma ya yarda da hakan?"
"Very simple..." Ya fad'a yana cigaba da tracing gefen fuskarta cike da jin dad'in yadda bata hana shi ba yace.
"Zaki bud'e zuciyarki ne ki fito da dukkan mafarkinki na duniya, sanann ki yarda da kanki, ki bawa kanki yak'inin da ko shaid'an bai isa ya ture hakan ba balle kwakwalwarki."
Fuskarta ta juya kowanne b'angare cikin hannunsa kafin tace.
"Bana jin zan iya, don ko ina da mafarki ni ba sanshi ba."
"Kowa yana da mafarki a duniyar nan leelah, baza ki tab'a rasawa ba don ko ni na san naki da yawa, in kina so zan iya canja labarin mu a yanzu nan."
Ta d'auko da idonta ta sake kallonsa, sai ya kautar da nasa kad'an don idan ya cigaba da kallonta zai iya manta zancen wani labari ya jata cikin jikinsa.
"Ta yaya?
Ta yaya zaka iya canja komai?"
A hankali ya sunkuyar da kansa sannan ya sake rik'o hannayenta, idonsa ya kai kan combination d'in fari da baki'n lallen da bai gama barin farcenta, ba zuciyarsa ta matse da tunanin cewa don shi akayi lallen.
Yayi gyaran murya kad'an sannan ya sake yin k'asa da muryarsa cikin amon daya san zai ratsa zuciyarta yace.
"Let's say, shekaru goma da suka wuce baya, kina Ikara, tare da mahaifanki da kuma yayarki Maryam data gama makaranta, komai yana tafiya daidai a rayuwarku saboda kuna kusa da babban gida inda kowa ke mutuk'ar sonku dalilin kyawawan halayen mamanku...."
Fadeelah bata san lokacin data rufe idanunta ba jin hakan, lallai wannan shine mafarki, mai d'auke ka zuwa wata duniyar da babu kishiyar komai, a hankali taji wata kwalla mai d'umi na shirin taruwa a idanunta,
"... a cikin haka ne mahaifinku ya had'a Maryam aure da d'an wani amininsa, kowa yayi farin cikin hakan don Sadiq yana da hankali sosai da kuma nutsuwa.
Bayan bikinsu rayuwa ta cigaba da gangara muku a hankali cikin tarin nasarori, ki gama makaranta kuma kowa ya yarda da ra'ayinki na cigaba da karatu, watakila Kawu Ibrahim ko wani daga cikin yayyenki ya samo miki makaranta kika fara zuwa daga nan gida kina dawowa, komai yana tafiya daidai a rayuwarki..."
Ya d'anyi shiru kafin ya cigaba.
"A wannan lokacin ni kuma na dawo daga America a matsayin d'aya daga cikin jikokin babban gida daya samu schoolarship na karantar aikin lauya, kowa yayi murna da kammala karatuna, kuma mahaifina ya tura ni gidajen 'yan uwa in gaishe su don na dad'e bana k'asar..."
A daidai nan kwallar da Fadeelah ke kokarin rikewa ta gangaro kan kumatunta, ta gyad'a kanta a hankali don ta hango inda labari ke dosa.
"...
Watakila Sai'd yayi min jagora muka shiga bin gidajen 'yan uwa, gida na k'arshe da muka je shine gidanku, muna falo a zaune ana gaisawa kika dawo daga makaranta, ban san me ya faru ba amma a wannan lokacin kowa na wajen ya b'ace a idanuna sai ke kad'ai kawai nake iya gani kina tahowa saitina, sanye cikin doguwar rigarki mai kyau sannan da glasses na karatu a idanunki, kika k'araso kika gaishe damu amma bayan muryarki bana iya jin motsin kowa na d'akin, kika karb'i babyn yayarki daga hannun mamanki kina tayi mata wasa da dariya kina kallonta...."
Muryarsa ta d'anyi rawa kafin ya cigaba.
"...
Amma ni babu abinda nake so a wannan lokacin illa in kalle ki kawai."
Ya sake yin shiru yana murza yatsunta cikin nasa, itama kuma bata cewa komai ba tsawon wucewar wani lokaci.
"Daga nan me ya faru?" Zuwa can muryarta ta tambaya a hankali alamun tana son jin cigaban.
Sai ya sunkuyo da kansa daidai satin nata ya had'a goshinsu, abinda ya fad'a na gaba ya sauka kamar ruwan sama akanta, kowacce kalma ta tab'o can k'asan ruhinta.
"May be na samu sa'ar samun numberki a wajen Sa'id, then we talk.
May be kuma na fara aiki ke kuma kika cigaba da karatunki, amma muna tare da juna kodayaushe, we talked about almost everything, all those little and silly things but there never sound silly to me saboda dasu nake iya rayuwa a kullum.
An then one night...
Na gaya miki cewa ina sonki!"
Bata san lokacin da wani murmushi mai kama da dariya ya sub'uce mata ba, don har sai da fuskarsu ta jijjiga a tare, dama ace so samu ne...
"Zaki k'arasa?" Ya tambaya cikin husky muryarsa.
A wannan lokacin ne kuma ta kasa iya rik'e kanta, taji ba abinda take son irin itama ta fallasa mata sirrin tata zuciyar, ta fad'i kalaman da har yanzu bakinta bai gama tsara su ba, don kowacce jijiya a jikinta a matse take da zumud'in hakan.
Sautin dariyarta ne ya katse shi daga k'arasawa, dariyarta mai dad'in gaske da kunnensa ya saba da jinta a kwanakin nan, amma kuma zuciyarsa ta kasa karb'ar sabon, don duk sanda taji ta sai ta fitar da wani rad'ad'i dake watsuwa a k'irjinsa.
"Me ya baki dariya?"
Yana ganin yadda tayi saurin tsaida kanta ta hanyar cije lebb'enta na k'asa sannan ta girgiza kai alamun babu komai.
A lokacin ne ya rasa dukkan wata dauriyarsa ya mik'a hannunsa ya rik'o d'aya natan sannan muryarsa k'asa-k'asa yace.
"Zan iya samun amsata a cikin dariyar nan?"
Murmushin fuskarta bai tafi gabad'aya ba amma kuma bata ce komai ba, me hakan yake nufi?
Nasara ko akasinta? tunaninsa ya dagule zuwa wajaje daban-daban, ya rasa wanne zai tsamo ya d'auko bashi mazaunin a lokacin, sai ya k'ara sauke muryarsa can k'asa sosai kamar mai rad'a ya kira sunanta.
"Fadeelah, jiya bayan na barki ban iya barci ba ko kad'an, tunani kala-kala zuciyata ta dinga yi akan irin amsar da zan samu a wajenki, ban sani ba ko kin shirya fad'a min ita a yanzu amma ina son ki sani cewa duk abinda zaki yanke kar kiyi la'akari da rayuwarki ta baya ko kuma irin k'addarar data had'a mu, wannan duk abu ne daya riga ya wuce kuma bamu da iko akansa.
Amma a cikin zukatanmu zamu iya canja komai, Allah ya bamu damar da a yanzu zamu iya sake labarinmu ya tafi daidai da irin rayuwar da zamu shimfida a gaba, we have a whole new chance to rewrite all those sad and angry memories of our lives and create a better us that will shine the future."
Ya san ya tab'o wani abu mai girma a rayuwarta da wannan maganar, ya tab'o wani babban b'angare dake rufta zuciyarta a kullum, don a lokaci guda yanayin fuskarta ya canja zuwa na wata Fadeelan daban ba wadda ta fito da annashuwa ba.
Kuma yana sane yayi hakan, don a jiya babu irin tunanin da bai yi ba na irin abubuwan da zasu sa Fadeelah ta kasa amincewa dashi, kuma a cikinsu zuciyarsa ta yarda cewa wannan dalilin yafi dukkanin sauran k'arfi, babban rauninta shine rayuwarta ta baya da take wa kallon hargitsi wanda in har zuciyarta na rik'e da hakan ba zata tab'a barinta ta cigaba ba, abubuwa zasu cigaba da rugujewa ne a duk lokacin data tuno hakan, shi yasa ya kudiri niyyar rage tasirin wannan tunanin nata don ya san ba zai tab'a iya goge shi baki d'aya ba.
Ta girgiza kanta tana k'okarin zame hannayenta amma ya sake rik'e su gam, cikin sigar rik'on da yake son ta fahimci cewa daga yanzu yana tare da ita a kowanne irin yanayi.
"Bana tunanin akwai wata rayuwa da zanyi a gaba da zata goge dukkan tabon dake rayuwata, bana jin akwai wani abu da zai mutane su manta matsayin da suka san ni dashi a baya, tabo wani abu ne da baya tab'a barin d'an Adam, don haka ko mutuwa nayi na tabbata duk wanda ya sani zai tuno ni da wad'annan tarin tabon dana riga na samu, don duk da 'yancin dana samu a yanzu bana jin zan tab'a zama wani abu mai daraja a idon duniya."
Tsawon wucewar wasu sakanni, Adam bai ko kifta idanunsa balle yayi wani motsi, zuciyarsa tana b'antarewa ne jin cewa da gaske hasashensa game da ita gaskiya ne, har a yanzu tana ganin kanta a matsayin mara daraja saboda mutane kawai.
Zuciyarsa ta matse da irin zurfin da yaji a muryarta, ya had'iye yawu a hankali sanda wani abu ya mai girma ya cika k'irjinsa.
A hankali ya mik'a hannunsa d'aya ya shafi gefen fuskarta, ta rufe idanunta amma bata motsa ba, tana k'ame a wajen kamar abunda baya numfashi, zai iya k'irga sautin bugun zuciyarta.
"Kin san wani abu lealah?
We all have scars and they are an important part of our lives, sune abinda ke nuna rauni da gazawarmu a matsayin 'yan adam, I have alot of my own too, amma hakan baya nufin zan kyale su su
durk'usar dani a cigaban rayuwata.
Misali, a lokacin dana gama high school na gano cewa iyayen da nake tare dasu basu ne asalin mahaifana ba, abun yayi min ciwo sosai, zuciyata ta shiga zullumi da damuwa tsawon lokaci, har sai da mates d'ina suka yi joining
college ina zaune a gida babu abinda nake yi.
A lokaci d'aya kuma sai tunanina yayi hankali, ya bani shawarar cewa rayuwa ba zata tsaya ba don kawai an samu tangard'ar wani abun, living with the past will only make me more vulnerable and frail, zan k'are rayuwata ne ba tare dana samu komai ba, saboda haka rana d'aya kawai na tashi na sami wani littafi da biro na rubuta sabon labari akaina, na tsara komai ya tafi daidai da mafarkina har zuwa matsayin da nake a wancan lokacin, sannan na fara kokarin cigabawa daga nan, ya zama duk sanda wani abu na kewaye na ke kokarin tuna min da zahiri sai in d'auko labarin nan in karanta in kuma cigaba da inda na tsaya."
A wannan lokacin ta bud'e idanunta ta kalle shi, akwaibkyallin hawaye a idanunta amma sai tayi dariya...
Rana ta farko kenan da tayi dariya tana kallonsa, kyallin hakan kuma ya haska har cikin zuciyarsa yasa shi murmushin da bai shirya ba don abin yaso ya bashi mamaki, waye yake kuka yana dariya a lokaci d'aya?
"Ta yaya mutum yake canja labarinsa kuma ya yarda da hakan?"
"Very simple..." Ya fad'a yana cigaba da tracing gefen fuskarta cike da jin dad'in yadda bata hana shi ba yace.
"Zaki bud'e zuciyarki ne ki fito da dukkan mafarkinki na duniya, sanann ki yarda da kanki, ki bawa kanki yak'inin da ko shaid'an bai isa ya ture hakan ba balle kwakwalwarki."
Fuskarta ta juya kowanne b'angare cikin hannunsa kafin tace.
"Bana jin zan iya, don ko ina da mafarki ni ba sanshi ba."
"Kowa yana da mafarki a duniyar nan leelah, baza ki tab'a rasawa ba don ko ni na san naki da yawa, in kina so zan iya canja labarin mu a yanzu nan."
Ta d'auko da idonta ta sake kallonsa, sai ya kautar da nasa kad'an don idan ya cigaba da kallonta zai iya manta zancen wani labari ya jata cikin jikinsa.
"Ta yaya?
Ta yaya zaka iya canja komai?"
A hankali ya sunkuyar da kansa sannan ya sake rik'o hannayenta, idonsa ya kai kan combination d'in fari da baki'n lallen da bai gama barin farcenta, ba zuciyarsa ta matse da tunanin cewa don shi akayi lallen.
Yayi gyaran murya kad'an sannan ya sake yin k'asa da muryarsa cikin amon daya san zai ratsa zuciyarta yace.
"Let's say, shekaru goma da suka wuce baya, kina Ikara, tare da mahaifanki da kuma yayarki Maryam data gama makaranta, komai yana tafiya daidai a rayuwarku saboda kuna kusa da babban gida inda kowa ke mutuk'ar sonku dalilin kyawawan halayen mamanku...."
Fadeelah bata san lokacin data rufe idanunta ba jin hakan, lallai wannan shine mafarki, mai d'auke ka zuwa wata duniyar da babu kishiyar komai, a hankali taji wata kwalla mai d'umi na shirin taruwa a idanunta,
"... a cikin haka ne mahaifinku ya had'a Maryam aure da d'an wani amininsa, kowa yayi farin cikin hakan don Sadiq yana da hankali sosai da kuma nutsuwa.
Bayan bikinsu rayuwa ta cigaba da gangara muku a hankali cikin tarin nasarori, ki gama makaranta kuma kowa ya yarda da ra'ayinki na cigaba da karatu, watakila Kawu Ibrahim ko wani daga cikin yayyenki ya samo miki makaranta kika fara zuwa daga nan gida kina dawowa, komai yana tafiya daidai a rayuwarki..."
Ya d'anyi shiru kafin ya cigaba.
"A wannan lokacin ni kuma na dawo daga America a matsayin d'aya daga cikin jikokin babban gida daya samu schoolarship na karantar aikin lauya, kowa yayi murna da kammala karatuna, kuma mahaifina ya tura ni gidajen 'yan uwa in gaishe su don na dad'e bana k'asar..."
A daidai nan kwallar da Fadeelah ke kokarin rikewa ta gangaro kan kumatunta, ta gyad'a kanta a hankali don ta hango inda labari ke dosa.
"...
Watakila Sai'd yayi min jagora muka shiga bin gidajen 'yan uwa, gida na k'arshe da muka je shine gidanku, muna falo a zaune ana gaisawa kika dawo daga makaranta, ban san me ya faru ba amma a wannan lokacin kowa na wajen ya b'ace a idanuna sai ke kad'ai kawai nake iya gani kina tahowa saitina, sanye cikin doguwar rigarki mai kyau sannan da glasses na karatu a idanunki, kika k'araso kika gaishe damu amma bayan muryarki bana iya jin motsin kowa na d'akin, kika karb'i babyn yayarki daga hannun mamanki kina tayi mata wasa da dariya kina kallonta...."
Muryarsa ta d'anyi rawa kafin ya cigaba.
"...
Amma ni babu abinda nake so a wannan lokacin illa in kalle ki kawai."
Ya sake yin shiru yana murza yatsunta cikin nasa, itama kuma bata cewa komai ba tsawon wucewar wani lokaci.
"Daga nan me ya faru?" Zuwa can muryarta ta tambaya a hankali alamun tana son jin cigaban.
Sai ya sunkuyo da kansa daidai satin nata ya had'a goshinsu, abinda ya fad'a na gaba ya sauka kamar ruwan sama akanta, kowacce kalma ta tab'o can k'asan ruhinta.
"May be na samu sa'ar samun numberki a wajen Sa'id, then we talk.
May be kuma na fara aiki ke kuma kika cigaba da karatunki, amma muna tare da juna kodayaushe, we talked about almost everything, all those little and silly things but there never sound silly to me saboda dasu nake iya rayuwa a kullum.
An then one night...
Na gaya miki cewa ina sonki!"
Bata san lokacin da wani murmushi mai kama da dariya ya sub'uce mata ba, don har sai da fuskarsu ta jijjiga a tare, dama ace so samu ne...
"Zaki k'arasa?" Ya tambaya cikin husky muryarsa.
A wannan lokacin ne kuma ta kasa iya rik'e kanta, taji ba abinda take son irin itama ta fallasa mata sirrin tata zuciyar, ta fad'i kalaman da har yanzu bakinta bai gama tsara su ba, don kowacce jijiya a jikinta a matse take da zumud'in hakan.