Sashe 91
Bayan Na Mutu Part 1 Complete Hausa Novel · about 8 min read
"Steady."
Kalmar ta fice daga bakinsa a daidai saitin kunnenta, a hankali muryarsa ta fito saboda nutsuwarsa data fara neman rikicewa, watakila kuma hakan ya saka ta jin wani abu don bata sake wani motsin ba tsawon wucewar 'yan sakanni, sai ya lumshe idanunsa a lokacin da k'amshin nata ke k'ara shiga kusufa-kusufa na kwakwalwarsa kafin ya fahimci cewa jikinta b'ari yake a cikin hannunsa don haka yayi saurin saita kansa ya mik'a hannunsa don d'auko container, sai dai hakan ya dad'a sawa ta k'ara shigowa jikinsa, fuskarsa ta fito ta cikin ramin wuyanta.
Ya had'iye yawu da kyar kafin janyo container a hankali sannan ba tare da ya sake ta ba ya sauko dasu daga kan kujerar, hakan ya cillo dashi duniyar zahiri don k'afafunsu na dira kan lallausan carpet d'in wajen tayi saurin karb'ar robar sannan fit! ta zare kanta daga jikinsa saboda bai rik'e tare da wani k'arfi ba.
"Nagode, bari inje in saka." Sautin ta a hankali ya fito itama, kuma kafin ya nazarci wani abun, ta b'ace zuwa hanyar kitchen.
Sai ya lalubi d'aya daga cikin kujerun ya zauna.
Abubuwa da yawa na yawa a cikin kansa...
Million of feelings, thousands shades of emotions da kuma dubunnan tunanika duk akan Fadeelah ita kad'ai!
Bai san sanda ya dunk'ule hannunsa ya daki glass d'in teburin gabansa ba.
How can he continue to spend everyday of his fucking life like this?
Dole ne komai yazo k'arshe don dauriyarsa ta k'are, dole ya gayawa Fadeelah gaskiyar da yake ta yawo da ita a zuciyarsa, don ba ya jin zai iya tsallake wannan daren rik'e da wannan nauyin a zuciyarsa, tunaninsa ya natsu cewa ranar yau ta zama sanadin yadda k'arashen rayuwarsa zai kasance, don ba zai k'ara asarar ko kwana guda da damarsa ba, zai fad'a mata komai a yau ko da kuwa hakan na nufin duniyarsa zata ruguje ne.
"Can you spare me a minute?" (Zaki d'an bani aron lokacinki?)
Fadeelah ta tsinci muryarsa daga bayanta lokaci da take tsaye a kitchen, wannan container na gabanta amma ta kasa zuba abinda ta d'auko a ciki.
Ya salam!
Wai so yaje ya kashe ta da ranta ne?
Bai san cewa jinyar zuciyarta taho yin ba?...
Ta yaya zata iya sauraren sa alhalin har yanzu tana jin wani mai d'umi yana tafiya cikin k'afafunta?
Ta yaya zata iya karb'ar wannan muryar tasa dake sawa ta zama kamar k'ank'arar dake narkewa?
Sai ya k'araso ya tsaya gabanta, ya d'an kalleta kad'an sannan ya sauk'e muryarsa k'asa sosai yace.
"Zamu iya yin maganar?"
Tana da zab'i ne?
Ya san ai ba zata iya ce masa A'a ba, don haka ta gyad'a kanta kawai ba tare da ta kalle shi ba, kuma ba tayi wani aune ba taji ya mik'o hannunsa ya kamo nata yatsunsa suka sark'e cikin nata...
A take kuwa zuciyarta ta shiga dungurawa cikin wani rami mai nisa sanban numfashinta ya nemi yakewa, watak'ila a yau Adam yana son ganin k'arshenta ne.
A hankali ya jata daga nan wajen zuwa kujerun island d'in dake tsakiyar kitchen d'in, ya zaunar da ita a d'aya sannan ya matso da wata ya zauna dab da ita sosai yadda gwiwoyinsu na gogar juna.
Bata kalle shi ba amma zuciyarta ta tabbatar mata cewa duk abinda zai fad'a mata lallai mai muhimmanci ne don watakila bata tab'a ganinsa a irin wannan yanayin ba, ko dai shima ya yana jin abinda take ji ne?
"Fadeelah magana nake son muyi mai muhimmanci, dan Allah ki saurare ni..."
A hankali muryarsa ta fito kamar yana daurewa ne kar duka kalamansa su fito a lokaci d'aya.
Ta sake had'iye yawu tana kallonsa...
Watakila sallamarta zai yi, k'ila wannan lokacin da yake jira ya k'araso ne kuma baya son wani abu ya canja ra'ayinsa don haka zai d'auki mataki tun kafin a kai ga makara, taji wani bak'in abu na shirin cunkushe zuciyarta amma wa zata yaudara?
Ta riga ta san dama dole ne lokaci zai zo da zai tashe ta daga shirmen mafarkin da take yi, don haka a cire kanta a lissafi... me su kawu Ibrahim zasu d'auke su in har suka rabu yanzu?
Sannan yaya su Mami zasu ji ace har ta koma musu cikin abinda baifi wata guda ba?
Anya bai yi garajen lokaci ba kuwa?
Sai kawai ta lumshe idonta tana laluben tata dauriyar itama don in har ya riga ya furta abinda ya tanada, to babu sauran wani hasashe kuma.
"Fadeelah me kike tunani game da yanayin zamanmu?"
Bata son lokacin data bud'e idonta ta kalle shi ba, dama zai nemi ra'ayinta bayan ya riga ya yanke shawararsa?
To me zata ce masa yanzu, dan Allah kar ya kore ta tana son zama dashi ko me?
"Kina ganin idan har muka yi amfani da wannan alkawarin na baya
abubuwa baza su lalalce ba?
Wai tambayarta yake yi?
To ai ita kuwa ta san abubuwa zasu lalace tunda ita zai bari a ciki, kafin kuma tayi tunanin ya bata damar magana ne ya cigaba da cewa.
"... a lokacin da muka yi wannan zancen da farko nayi la'akari ne da cewar an takura ki kuma abubuwa sun had'e miki a lokaci guda, amma wallahi ban fad'a da wata niyyar ba..."
Muryarsa ta ambaci rantsuwar 'Wallahi' da wani accent mai dad'i da bai yi kama da hausa ba, amma tsaya ba wannan ba, me yake cewa ne?
Bashi da niyyar sallamarta?
Ya cigaba da cewa.
"Ba zan iya cigaba da b'oye miki komai ba shi yasa nake gaya miki haka, don bana jin zuciyata na da kwarin da zata iya cigaba da zaman mu a haka."
Bata san lokacin da ta kalle shi ba a wannan lokacin, kamar tana son ta lalubo wancan Adam d'in data sani a baya, jajirtaccen lauyan dake tsorata alkali a kotu, mai karfin gwiwar da zai iya canja rayuwarsa gaba d'aya akan samun evidence kawai...
To ta yaya kuwa zai rasa kwarin gwiwar zama da ita kawai?
"Na san a da babu wani abu a tsakaninmu banda karatu kawai da kuma case d'in da aka gama, sai dai ko 'yan uwantakar data b'ullo a yanzu, amma bayan lokacin da muka fara rayuwa a gidan nan, zuciyata ta fara sonki ba tare da tare da nayi la'akari ba."
A wannan lokacin Fadeelah bata san ina tunaninta ya tafi ba ko kuma inda lizamin bakinta ya lula, don d'agowa tayi da sauri ta kalle shi tace.
"Me?"
Kuma kamar bai fahimci cewa tambayar tata bata dace ba, sai ya kawai ya rik'o hannunta duka biyun yace.
"Da gaske nake Fadeelah." Muryarsa tana d'auke ne da wani irin sauti mai zak'i kamar an watsa mata sukari.
"I'm in love with you and I could'nt deny meself saying that, sai a yanzu na fahimci cewa you're the peace I longed and craved for all my life, it may have taken me long to know your worth but you captivate me in ways no soul will ever will and i can't count the reasons why I'm in love with you, specially your eyes...
Your eyes hold everything my soul thirst for.
But i won't force you Fadeelah, kina da isashshen lokacin da zaki tunani akan hakan, we have from now till forever, idan har kin ga zaki bamu dama I promise you we will surely work!"
Sanda ya fad'i haka, sai ya murza yatsunta a hankali sannan ya mik'e tsaye, ya tsaya a gabanta kafin ya sunkuyo da fuskarsa a hankali daidai saitin tata sannan yayi abinda bata tab'a tsammmani ba, ya sumbaci goshinta a hankali, d'umin lebb'ensa ya sauka akan fatarta.
"Kiyi tunanin hakan a hankali lealah...
Sai dai safe."
Ya fad'i hakan akan fatarta ba tare da ya matsa ba sai ta dunk'ule yatsun k'afarta ba tare da niyya ba.
A hankali ya janye fuskarsa kkafin ya juya tafi.
Ya tafi ya barta a wani yanayin da bata san sunansa ba ko duniyar da yake shirin kai ta, kuma kamar an saka wani abu ne a lik'e ta a jikin kujerar da take kai ta kasa ko motsi balle ta d'ago ta tabbatar in har shi d'in ne da gaske, sannan kuma a hankali wani abu ya shiga tasowa tun daga k'asan zuciyarta taji kamar tana nutsewa ne a cikin kogin farin ciki amma kuma mai zafi, saboda haka bata san lokacin da ta rufe idanunta ba sannan a hankali hawaye mai d'umi ya gangaro ta k'asansu.
****
Washegari, 8:30 am.
Tana tsaye a jikin wardrobe tana kokarin zab'ar kayan da zata saka, bayan ta gama had'a karin safe ne kamar kowacce safiya ta shiga tayi wanka, sai dai a yau ta rasa kayan da zata saka, duk wanda hannunta ya kai kansa sai taga kamar bai dace da sawar wannan lokacin ba, idonta ya kai kan wayarta dake kan gado, ko dai dubawa zata yi a yanar gizo taga irin kalar da yadace ta saka?
Amma me zata rubuta?
Kayan da ya kamata ta saka a washegarin ranar da mijinta ya fito ya baiyana mata k'aunarsa gareta?
Wannan ba mai yiwuwa bane.
Sai kawai ta nemi kan stool d'in mudubi ta zauna rik'e da wasu kayan a hannunta.
Ta rufe idanunta a hankali don har a yanzu tana jinta ne kamar mai yawo a sararin sama, sannan idanunta ma na zafi kad'an saboda ta tab'o su a jiya, tayi kukan da ma'anarsa ba zata wuce ta farin ciki ba, farin cikin ganin yadda Allah ke maida duk wani k'alubale a rayuwarta zuwa alkhairi, tun daga lokacin data rabu da mahaifarta har zuwa yanzu da auren Adam ke neman juye mata zuwa farin ciki bata tunanin akwai abinda ya shigo rayuwarta wanda bai zama sanadin wani alkhairin ba.
Kalmar ta fice daga bakinsa a daidai saitin kunnenta, a hankali muryarsa ta fito saboda nutsuwarsa data fara neman rikicewa, watakila kuma hakan ya saka ta jin wani abu don bata sake wani motsin ba tsawon wucewar 'yan sakanni, sai ya lumshe idanunsa a lokacin da k'amshin nata ke k'ara shiga kusufa-kusufa na kwakwalwarsa kafin ya fahimci cewa jikinta b'ari yake a cikin hannunsa don haka yayi saurin saita kansa ya mik'a hannunsa don d'auko container, sai dai hakan ya dad'a sawa ta k'ara shigowa jikinsa, fuskarsa ta fito ta cikin ramin wuyanta.
Ya had'iye yawu da kyar kafin janyo container a hankali sannan ba tare da ya sake ta ba ya sauko dasu daga kan kujerar, hakan ya cillo dashi duniyar zahiri don k'afafunsu na dira kan lallausan carpet d'in wajen tayi saurin karb'ar robar sannan fit! ta zare kanta daga jikinsa saboda bai rik'e tare da wani k'arfi ba.
"Nagode, bari inje in saka." Sautin ta a hankali ya fito itama, kuma kafin ya nazarci wani abun, ta b'ace zuwa hanyar kitchen.
Sai ya lalubi d'aya daga cikin kujerun ya zauna.
Abubuwa da yawa na yawa a cikin kansa...
Million of feelings, thousands shades of emotions da kuma dubunnan tunanika duk akan Fadeelah ita kad'ai!
Bai san sanda ya dunk'ule hannunsa ya daki glass d'in teburin gabansa ba.
How can he continue to spend everyday of his fucking life like this?
Dole ne komai yazo k'arshe don dauriyarsa ta k'are, dole ya gayawa Fadeelah gaskiyar da yake ta yawo da ita a zuciyarsa, don ba ya jin zai iya tsallake wannan daren rik'e da wannan nauyin a zuciyarsa, tunaninsa ya natsu cewa ranar yau ta zama sanadin yadda k'arashen rayuwarsa zai kasance, don ba zai k'ara asarar ko kwana guda da damarsa ba, zai fad'a mata komai a yau ko da kuwa hakan na nufin duniyarsa zata ruguje ne.
"Can you spare me a minute?" (Zaki d'an bani aron lokacinki?)
Fadeelah ta tsinci muryarsa daga bayanta lokaci da take tsaye a kitchen, wannan container na gabanta amma ta kasa zuba abinda ta d'auko a ciki.
Ya salam!
Wai so yaje ya kashe ta da ranta ne?
Bai san cewa jinyar zuciyarta taho yin ba?...
Ta yaya zata iya sauraren sa alhalin har yanzu tana jin wani mai d'umi yana tafiya cikin k'afafunta?
Ta yaya zata iya karb'ar wannan muryar tasa dake sawa ta zama kamar k'ank'arar dake narkewa?
Sai ya k'araso ya tsaya gabanta, ya d'an kalleta kad'an sannan ya sauk'e muryarsa k'asa sosai yace.
"Zamu iya yin maganar?"
Tana da zab'i ne?
Ya san ai ba zata iya ce masa A'a ba, don haka ta gyad'a kanta kawai ba tare da ta kalle shi ba, kuma ba tayi wani aune ba taji ya mik'o hannunsa ya kamo nata yatsunsa suka sark'e cikin nata...
A take kuwa zuciyarta ta shiga dungurawa cikin wani rami mai nisa sanban numfashinta ya nemi yakewa, watak'ila a yau Adam yana son ganin k'arshenta ne.
A hankali ya jata daga nan wajen zuwa kujerun island d'in dake tsakiyar kitchen d'in, ya zaunar da ita a d'aya sannan ya matso da wata ya zauna dab da ita sosai yadda gwiwoyinsu na gogar juna.
Bata kalle shi ba amma zuciyarta ta tabbatar mata cewa duk abinda zai fad'a mata lallai mai muhimmanci ne don watakila bata tab'a ganinsa a irin wannan yanayin ba, ko dai shima ya yana jin abinda take ji ne?
"Fadeelah magana nake son muyi mai muhimmanci, dan Allah ki saurare ni..."
A hankali muryarsa ta fito kamar yana daurewa ne kar duka kalamansa su fito a lokaci d'aya.
Ta sake had'iye yawu tana kallonsa...
Watakila sallamarta zai yi, k'ila wannan lokacin da yake jira ya k'araso ne kuma baya son wani abu ya canja ra'ayinsa don haka zai d'auki mataki tun kafin a kai ga makara, taji wani bak'in abu na shirin cunkushe zuciyarta amma wa zata yaudara?
Ta riga ta san dama dole ne lokaci zai zo da zai tashe ta daga shirmen mafarkin da take yi, don haka a cire kanta a lissafi... me su kawu Ibrahim zasu d'auke su in har suka rabu yanzu?
Sannan yaya su Mami zasu ji ace har ta koma musu cikin abinda baifi wata guda ba?
Anya bai yi garajen lokaci ba kuwa?
Sai kawai ta lumshe idonta tana laluben tata dauriyar itama don in har ya riga ya furta abinda ya tanada, to babu sauran wani hasashe kuma.
"Fadeelah me kike tunani game da yanayin zamanmu?"
Bata son lokacin data bud'e idonta ta kalle shi ba, dama zai nemi ra'ayinta bayan ya riga ya yanke shawararsa?
To me zata ce masa yanzu, dan Allah kar ya kore ta tana son zama dashi ko me?
"Kina ganin idan har muka yi amfani da wannan alkawarin na baya
abubuwa baza su lalalce ba?
Wai tambayarta yake yi?
To ai ita kuwa ta san abubuwa zasu lalace tunda ita zai bari a ciki, kafin kuma tayi tunanin ya bata damar magana ne ya cigaba da cewa.
"... a lokacin da muka yi wannan zancen da farko nayi la'akari ne da cewar an takura ki kuma abubuwa sun had'e miki a lokaci guda, amma wallahi ban fad'a da wata niyyar ba..."
Muryarsa ta ambaci rantsuwar 'Wallahi' da wani accent mai dad'i da bai yi kama da hausa ba, amma tsaya ba wannan ba, me yake cewa ne?
Bashi da niyyar sallamarta?
Ya cigaba da cewa.
"Ba zan iya cigaba da b'oye miki komai ba shi yasa nake gaya miki haka, don bana jin zuciyata na da kwarin da zata iya cigaba da zaman mu a haka."
Bata san lokacin da ta kalle shi ba a wannan lokacin, kamar tana son ta lalubo wancan Adam d'in data sani a baya, jajirtaccen lauyan dake tsorata alkali a kotu, mai karfin gwiwar da zai iya canja rayuwarsa gaba d'aya akan samun evidence kawai...
To ta yaya kuwa zai rasa kwarin gwiwar zama da ita kawai?
"Na san a da babu wani abu a tsakaninmu banda karatu kawai da kuma case d'in da aka gama, sai dai ko 'yan uwantakar data b'ullo a yanzu, amma bayan lokacin da muka fara rayuwa a gidan nan, zuciyata ta fara sonki ba tare da tare da nayi la'akari ba."
A wannan lokacin Fadeelah bata san ina tunaninta ya tafi ba ko kuma inda lizamin bakinta ya lula, don d'agowa tayi da sauri ta kalle shi tace.
"Me?"
Kuma kamar bai fahimci cewa tambayar tata bata dace ba, sai ya kawai ya rik'o hannunta duka biyun yace.
"Da gaske nake Fadeelah." Muryarsa tana d'auke ne da wani irin sauti mai zak'i kamar an watsa mata sukari.
"I'm in love with you and I could'nt deny meself saying that, sai a yanzu na fahimci cewa you're the peace I longed and craved for all my life, it may have taken me long to know your worth but you captivate me in ways no soul will ever will and i can't count the reasons why I'm in love with you, specially your eyes...
Your eyes hold everything my soul thirst for.
But i won't force you Fadeelah, kina da isashshen lokacin da zaki tunani akan hakan, we have from now till forever, idan har kin ga zaki bamu dama I promise you we will surely work!"
Sanda ya fad'i haka, sai ya murza yatsunta a hankali sannan ya mik'e tsaye, ya tsaya a gabanta kafin ya sunkuyo da fuskarsa a hankali daidai saitin tata sannan yayi abinda bata tab'a tsammmani ba, ya sumbaci goshinta a hankali, d'umin lebb'ensa ya sauka akan fatarta.
"Kiyi tunanin hakan a hankali lealah...
Sai dai safe."
Ya fad'i hakan akan fatarta ba tare da ya matsa ba sai ta dunk'ule yatsun k'afarta ba tare da niyya ba.
A hankali ya janye fuskarsa kkafin ya juya tafi.
Ya tafi ya barta a wani yanayin da bata san sunansa ba ko duniyar da yake shirin kai ta, kuma kamar an saka wani abu ne a lik'e ta a jikin kujerar da take kai ta kasa ko motsi balle ta d'ago ta tabbatar in har shi d'in ne da gaske, sannan kuma a hankali wani abu ya shiga tasowa tun daga k'asan zuciyarta taji kamar tana nutsewa ne a cikin kogin farin ciki amma kuma mai zafi, saboda haka bata san lokacin da ta rufe idanunta ba sannan a hankali hawaye mai d'umi ya gangaro ta k'asansu.
****
Washegari, 8:30 am.
Tana tsaye a jikin wardrobe tana kokarin zab'ar kayan da zata saka, bayan ta gama had'a karin safe ne kamar kowacce safiya ta shiga tayi wanka, sai dai a yau ta rasa kayan da zata saka, duk wanda hannunta ya kai kansa sai taga kamar bai dace da sawar wannan lokacin ba, idonta ya kai kan wayarta dake kan gado, ko dai dubawa zata yi a yanar gizo taga irin kalar da yadace ta saka?
Amma me zata rubuta?
Kayan da ya kamata ta saka a washegarin ranar da mijinta ya fito ya baiyana mata k'aunarsa gareta?
Wannan ba mai yiwuwa bane.
Sai kawai ta nemi kan stool d'in mudubi ta zauna rik'e da wasu kayan a hannunta.
Ta rufe idanunta a hankali don har a yanzu tana jinta ne kamar mai yawo a sararin sama, sannan idanunta ma na zafi kad'an saboda ta tab'o su a jiya, tayi kukan da ma'anarsa ba zata wuce ta farin ciki ba, farin cikin ganin yadda Allah ke maida duk wani k'alubale a rayuwarta zuwa alkhairi, tun daga lokacin data rabu da mahaifarta har zuwa yanzu da auren Adam ke neman juye mata zuwa farin ciki bata tunanin akwai abinda ya shigo rayuwarta wanda bai zama sanadin wani alkhairin ba.