Sashe 29

'' bana tunanin haka daga haÉ—uwar mu kuma sai ki fara neman anko? Ni mema na sani game da soyayya?''

'' hmm..yanda ake kiss mana!"taban amsar maganar ƙarshe

'' Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'una..ke Jay d..''

'' malama ki dena yi kamar ke innocent ce duk littafan da kike karantawa kizo kina wani yi kamar ta Allah..'' ta maka min pillow'n dake gefenta

'' toh ni ta sheÉ—an ce?" Na tambaya tsakanin dariya

'' oho.. sai da safe;"

'' Allah ya tashe mu da Alkhairi''

Daga nan babu wanda ya sake magana cikin mu sai dai ni ba bacci nake ba tunani nake nasan koda ace naji kamar ina son Khalil baso bane zai kasance kawai

🍁: Emotional dependency...

Yauwa...zai kasance wannan kawai... saboda duk da bamu daɗe da haɗuwa ba shiɗin yana saurare na kuma bai taɓa...

🍁: judging

Bai taɓa jojin ɗina ba duk da banyi abinda zai sa yayi hakan ba amma ina ji a raina shi na daban ne sai dai bazan iya sonshi ba na sani. maza da yawa sun faɗi abinda yake sa zuciya ta cikin ƙunci banda shi hakan zai sa inso kasancewa dashi wannan shine emotional dependency/, security duk da ban yi bayani da kyau ba...

Waye zai soni a yanda nake? Mutane irina basa samun masoya wa'yanda zasu girmama su duk wanda ya aure su zai dinga ji kamar yayi musu babbar alfarma kuma zasu rayu cikin ƙunci da wulaƙanci...Hawaye suka fara sauka daga idona kafin na fara kuka ƙasa ƙasa dan na ɗauka Jay D tayi bacci

'' meyasa kike kuka?" Tayi maganar tana juyowa sashe na,da hanzari na goge hawaye na

'' b..ba kuka nake ba!"

Amma muryata ta fallasa akasin hakan tashi zaune Jay D tayi, hannunta akaina '' Bee muyi magana '' runtse idona nayi ina taune leɓena kafin na tashi zaune ina share hawaye

'' meyasa kike kuka?" Ta sake tambaya

'' nayi kew...''

''ba haka bane!" Ta katse ni..hakan yasa na ɗago idona suka shige cikin nata...ta riƙo hannu na

'' naga yanda kike kallo na sanda ina gidan ku naga yanda idonki sukayi ja sanda kika fito daga wanka..naga yanda kike ƙoƙarin danne hawayen ki sanda kike gyara min gashi nasan yanda bakya son karanta littafai idan jarumar ciki tana da komai meyasa?" A wani irin slow hawaye na suke tsiyaya jin abinda take faɗa kafin suka fara fita da sauri sauri...ta matso kusa tare da riƙe hannu na

''kin tsani kanki saboda kina tunanin baki kai mace ba a yanayin halittar ki ba...! ''

ta fáɗa a hankali bada hukunci ba sai da tabbatar wa ban taɓa faɗawa Jay D wani abu game da sef istim ɗina ba amma ta fahimta '' Ban san yanda zan yi ba...na kasa son kaina...ko wace rana ina ji na ƙara tsanar kaina ne... meyasa bazan zama kamar sauran matan ba? Meyasa addu'oi na basa faruwa? Meyasa nake a yanda nake? Meyasa baxan samu abinda nake so ba? Meyasa sai ni abubuwa ke ƙin yiwa aiki...kalle ni doguwa dani amma kamar ƙaramar yarinya kalli Asma'u na girme ta amma kamar itace yaya ta'' na faɗa ina rufe fuska ta da hannaye na...cikin kuka sosai

Rungume ni Jay D tayi tana shafa bayana '' saboda keta dabance Abeedah, addu'oinki ba wai basa karɓuwa bane lokacine bai yi ba,ko me mutum xai yi idan har lokaci bai yiba,babu abunda zai faru...zaki sha mamaki idan lokaci yayi Allah ya fara baki abinda kike kuka akai yanzu''

Ta share min hawaye na,tana maganar a sanyaye '' ba lallai abinda kike roƙa ɗin a yanzu ya kasance alkhairi gare kiba,ƙila da yanzu kin zama mutuniyar banza..ƙila kuma Allah na shirya maki fiye da yanda kika roƙa ne ki dena ƙuntata kanki pls!"

Nayi shiru ina sauraren ta '' na san yanda kike ji duk da, insecurities nada wuyar sha'ani amma kada ki bari hakan yayi sanadiyar dena farin cikin ki,kada ki tsayar da farin cikin ki wurin jiran abinda bai zoba har yanzu...nasan da wahala amma kiyi ƙoƙari ki dena kwatanta kanki da kowa... you're not them and they're not you!"

É—aura hannuna dake saman nata nayi ina kuka sosai

'' amma Jay d ji nake kamar kowa yana yin gaba ni kaÉ—ai ce a inda nake duk sanda naga wa'yanda suka fini nake ji wani irin nauyi a zuciya ta na dole nima sai na cimma su..''

tana gyaɗa kanta da damuwa sosai a fuskar ta tace '' na gane Bee,amma bakya buƙatar kiji haka...ba tserarra kuke ba, a rayuwa wasu suna samu da sauri wasu tsaka tsaki wasu kuma sai sunyi gwagwarmaya..abu mai muhimmanci shine a duk inda kake baka yi latti ba you're exactly where Allah wants you to be..nasan akwai wannan pressurize ɗin nason kamo wani but your time line isn't theirs and theirs isn't yours... kiyi rayuwar ki dai dai naki saurin,idan kika ce zaki yi rayuwar wasu...zaki cutar da kanki ne ki gajiyar da kanki kuma ki haddasa ma kanki ciwo a zuciya..ki kwantar da hankalin ki akwai Allah...!"

'' ban san yanda zan kwantar da hankalina ba,koda yaushe zuciya ta rawa take kamar idan nayi tunani mai tsawo zan iya gano inda matsalar take...''

'' that's the problem! Babu matsala anan,zaki ji kamar idan kinyi tunani long enough you'll figure things out but in reality kina ƙara cusa kanki cikin damuwa ne kawai!"

Mu biyun muka yi shiru,ta ƙara matsowa kusa dani, hannu na a nata '' let me help you,bakya buƙatar ki ɗauki komai ke kaɗai I'm here for you bee...ni zan taimake ki uhm?" ta miƙa hannu tana share min hawaye kafin ta rungume ni

'' na gode!"...

'' kina da kyau.. idan kika fahimci hakan zaki rayu cikin kwanciyar hankali da nutsuwa da wadatar zuci..rayuwar wasu ba taki bace Abeedah kowa da nasa lokacin uhm!" Na gyaÉ—a kaina bance komai ba

+2349138091955

RU'UYAA…📖

₦500 ne idan ya kammala zai koma 800

Biya ta wannan account É—in 9138091955..Salma Aliyu opay

Shaidar biya ta +2349138091955

Autumn writes 📖🖋️

RU'UYAA
The dreams we never lived
By Autumn 17 🍁🍁

14. ... Anaam...🖊️

Washegari bayan munyi sallar asuba muna nan zaune muna tasbih har sai da rana ta fito mukayi salatul ishraq muka daɗa da karatun Alkur'ani na tsawon minti talatin Jay D sauka tayi dan haka da Qur'ani take karatu ni kuma hadda nayi da kai nake karantawa babu kuskure ko ɗaya Sai da ƙarfe bakwai sannan muka gama

'' ina kwana Bee" ta gaishe ni duk data girme ni da wata É—aya...

Na faÉ—a saman gado ina kallon ceiling

'' lafiya lau ya kike...?"

Wani kallon tayi min kafin ta kwanta gefe tana jan kunne na tace

'' cewa ake ina kwana,ni ƙanwar kice eh?"

'' Haha toh bake kika ce ina kwana ba?sai in tambayi ya kike''

mukayi shiru na É—an lokaci kafin na tashi zaune da yan kame kame nace

'' jiya...Uhmm...kince zaki taimaka min taya?"

Idonta dake lumshe ta buÉ—e kafin ta tashi zaune

'' ta hanyar canja tunanin ki...''

Muka kafe juna da ido ta gyara zama haÉ—e da jan dogon numfashi

'' zanyi ƙoƙarin yi maki bayani as best as I could...''

Na riƙe haɓa ina Kallonta gaba ɗaya ni abun ya fara ban haushi sannan zuciyata ta yarda da bazaiyi aiki ba,kuma ina jin hakan kamar wani babban nauyi ne aka ɗaura min a ƙirji

'' kiyi tunanin...Uhmm ƙwaƙwalwar ki kamar gona Abeedah...kuma duk abinda kika shuka ai shi zai fito ko?" Ta tambaya

'' ehemm!" Na faɗa da ƙatuwar murya cike da takaici

'' oh...Kay....yi haƙuri kada ki haɗe ni!"

Ta furta tana É—aga hannu ido buÉ—e

'' yanzu ki ɗauki tunanin ki a matsayin iri (seed)ace kuma kina so kiyi noman shinkafa amma sai kika ɗauki irin masara kika jefa cikin ƙasa yanzu me kika shuka?"

Na juya idona bayan amsar a bayyane take tambaya irin wannan tana matuƙar ban haushi

'' MASARA!!"

'' kada ki fashe min dodon kunne akwai yanda za'ayi ki canja masara zuwa shinkafa?"

Ta tambaya kamar malamar data kai ɗalibinta maƙura yanda baya da zaɓi sai dai ya bata amsar da take so Hmph! babu yanda za'ayi in bata amsar data ke son ji

'' eh mana! Idan kika cire masarar kika mayar da irin shinkafa na!"

“Exactly! Haka tunani yake. Babu yadda za’ayi in so in yi kuɗi amma a kullum tunanina yana cewa ba zai yiwu ba. Abin da nake so ya yi matching da tunanina da emotions ɗina. Akwai wasu signals da ƙwaƙwalwa ke turawa duk lokacin da mutum yake tunani—kamar signal na neman abin da yake tunani. Idan tunaninki kullum na baƙin ciki ne, abubuwa marasa kyau za su ci gaba da faruwa; idan farin ciki ne, abubuwa masu kyau za su biyo baya. Ƙwaƙwalwa ba ta bambance daidai da ba daidai ba, kawai umarni take bi. kina fahimta?”

Ta dakata tana kallona, ganin na yi zugum, amma ban ma san ko na fahimta ba. Sai ta ci gaba, “A sauƙaƙe, Bee, ki sauya tunaninki daga negative zuwa positive. Idan kika canja tunaninki, komai zai canja.”

Ta riƙo hannu na cikin nata '' ki gwada koda na sati ɗaya ne kiyi ta tunanin abu mai kyau kinji!"

Hm...kamar abun yana da sauƙi taya zan yi tunanin abu mai kyau bayan babu wani abu mai kyau dake faruwa dani? Rayuwa ta a wani irin birkice take babu abinda nake ganewa kuma taya zan bar duk munanan abubuwan dake faruwa kamar babu komai? Bayan ni bana son haka kawai mutum ya kasance mai gaskiya da kowa da komai harda kanshi

'' zan gwada!" Na faÉ—a bawai dan ina tunanin hakan zai yiwu ba...

'' yauwa Bee... Allah ya taya ki!"

'' Ameen!" Na amsa a taƙaice....

Sai ta sake ni ta shiga baye ta haÉ—a min ruwan zafi

'' tafi kiyi wanka bari inje in gani idan an gama abun kari ''

ta fita daga É—akin ajiyar zuciya na sauke na shiga bayen raina a wani irin ban ma sani ba