Sashe 92
A Zato Na Complete Hausa Novel · about 8 min read
Babu musu ya janye kafarshi, na maida kofar na rufe garam, da ba don Allah yasa ya matsa da wuri ba da babu abinda zai hana in buga kofar nan a fuskarshi. Too bad, abinda naso ya faru kenan, babu abinda nake tunani a lokacin sai gwara in saba mishi kamanni in gani ko wadda zai aura din zata cigaba da son shi a hakan. Juyawa nayi zuwa cikin dakin na zauna a gefen gado.
Tunani na farko daya fara zuwar min shine asubahi ta farko in kama hanya in bar mishi gidan, in yaso sai ya dauko wadda yake so din ya ajiye a gidan nashi, daga baya dai naga cewa wannan gurguwar shawara ce, idan ma na tashi ina zan tafi? Gida dai nasan ko na sha giyar wake, Baba ba zai barni in zauna ba, in ma ce mishi me? Gashua kuwa... Bana ma sako ta cikin lissafi. Nasan ko numfashi ba zan gama ajiyewa ba zan ganni na dawo Abuja.
Tunda nayi sallar asubahi, na koma na kwanta. Duk da dan banzan barcin daya cika min ido, amma na kasa komawa barci. Ta yaya ma zan iya barci a cikin wannan halin?. Hawaye ne masu dan karen zafi da daci suke min zarya a kumatu. Rabin filon da nayi matashin kai dashi ya jike da lemar hawayena.
Wani sashe na can kasan zuciyata kuwa yana fada min I'm just being a hypocrite.
Bai taba fada ba, amma can wani bangare na tunani na yana fada min cewa ba zan taba zama ni kadai a cikin gidan Yaya ba, na sani. Shi yasa na kasa zama comfortable, na kasa sakin jiki balle har in saba da zama ni daya din, amma me yasa duk da hakan, zafin da nake ji a yanzu ya wuce misali?.
Har gari yayi haske, rana ta fito, ban motsa daga inda nake ba, ganin barcin ba zai yiwu ba yanzu yasa na tashi. Sai dana fara shirya Muhaaseen data tashi sannan nima na shirya cikin uniform dina.
Na nadeta cikin shawul mai taushi, na dauki abubuwan da zan bukata na bude kofar dakin na fita.
A falo na kwantar da ita tare da sauran kayan hannuna na shiga kicin. Duk da bana jin yunwa, amma kuma I can't find it in me to starve my husband, ba ma zan ji dadi ba idan ban mishi girkin ba. Don haka na kunna gas. Ganin cewa lokaci ya riga ya kure, yasa nayi sauce din kwai kawai na dafa shayi, na kai kan dinning da biredi na ajiye. Har yanzu Yaya bai fito ba, watakila barci ne ya kwashe shi. Nayi kwafa da nayi tunanin haka, watau shi har lokacin yin barci ya samu? Ya mishi kyau.
*
Tunda naje asibiti na kasa tabuka komi, tun safe har lokacin tashinmu yayi. Yan kananun ayyuka kamar su dressing da sauransu, sai sauran abokan aikina ne suka dinga yin su. Sunyi tambayar duniya, ce musu ciwon kai nake yi kawai na dinga yin. Haka nan na koma gida dai ranar.
Kasa daurewa nayi, na kira Sailu a waya ina kuka tun karfina da jan majina, mata ta rikice ta hau tambayata abinda yake faruwa. Na zayyane mata abinda kenan, ban boye mata komi ba.
Ina gamawa taja tsaki, na daga baki hangangam cikin mamaki ina saurarenta, tace "to sai me? Ni Wallahi nayi zaton wani mummunan abu ne ya faru, har kin bani tsoro".
Na share hawayen fuskata nace "haba Sailuba, yanzu wannan ba mummunan abu bane?".
Tace "mummuna a ina? Yo wai ita kishiyar karshen rayuwarki ce ko me? Yadda kike yi dinnan sai wani yayi tunanin baki taba zama da kishiyar bane, ke da kika zauna da mata har biyu, kika kuma zauna lafiya balle daya?".
Nace "to ita dayar kinsan halinta ne? Ko kuwa kinsan da abinda zata shigo? Su biyun kin san kalar gwagwarmayar da muka sha dasu? Wata fa har sanadin rayuwata ta kusa yi, dayar kuma taso laka min sharrin kisan kai. Haka kawai ina zaman-zamana azo a sanya ni a uku!".
Sailu ta dan saki dariya, "haba dai, kada ki zama raguwa mana. To wai ma, zaki hana shi yin auren nan ne? In fada miki gaskiya, gwanda tun kuna shaidar juna ki hakura, wallahi ki bashi amincewarki. Allah kadai yasan abinda yake cikin auren nan, kuma duk wasu bore-borenki da tashe-tashen hankulanki, babu fa abinda zai hana. Sai dai idan Allah bai nufa ba, ko kuma idan shi din bai ga damar yi bane kawai. Wannan zamani ma Allah na tuba, wa yake wani tayar da hankalinshi akan wata kishiya? Kin san Allah? Ki daina gani yanzu yana wani bin kanki yana lallashinki, na dan lokaci ne. Tun kafin ya daina biye miki, ki bada kai bori ya hau, don ba zaki ji dadi ba wallahi".
Na daga baki nace, "amma...".
Tace "amma me? Ni fa in nice ke ko? Wallahi babu wani tada hankalina da zanyi, akan me? Miji ne, nasan yana min son da babu wata 'ya mace da zata iya kamo kafata. Idan kuma kika iya rawar ki da takunki, wallahi ko ta shigo babu wani abu da zai sauya. Don haka don Allah ki kwantar da hankalinki Na'ilah, nasan cewa baki son kishiya, amma ina tabbatar miki da cewa ba duka fa aka taru aka zama daya ba. Duk wadda kika ga tayi wani da ba daidai ba, dama can halinta ne. Ke yanzu da ya aureki, kin taba tunanin daidai da rana daya akan kiyi yadda zaki yi ki kori kishiyoyinki?".
Na girgiza kai a hankali, kafin na tuna cewa bata gani na, na daga baki da kyar nace "a'ah", maganganunta sun sanya min rawar jiki, sun kuma jefa ni cikin tunani.
Tace "to kin gani? Halayenki masu kyau ne, haka kuma niyarki tsarkakkiya ce. Zata iya yiwuwa itama wadda zai aura din, maybe, itama niyarta daya da taki. Ba zaki taba sani ba. Kada ki damu, kinji?".
Na kai hannuwa ina share hawayen fuskata with determination, nace "haka ne, nagode Sailu".
Tace "ni ce da godiya Na'ilah, naji dadi da kika fara nema na. Baki nemi wadda zata jefa tunanin da zai jirkitar dake ba. Sai anjima". Muka kashe wayar.
Na koma na kwanta tare da ajiye wayar a gefena, maganganun da muka tattauna da ita suna kara min tariya a cikin kaina.
⋆
Karfe kusan bakwai Yaya ya dawo daga wajen aiki. Ina kan abin sallah ina lazumi lokacin daya leko dakina, bai ce komi ba ya wuce inda Muhaaseen take kwance yana mata yan wasanni. Ban ce mishi komi ba har ya gama, ya juyo yana kallona with wariness.
Wani abu yazo ya cake ni a kirji, har yaushe ne mijina ya fara kallona da wannan sigar? Har yaushe ya fara kallona a tsorace, kamar wanda yake tsoron yana daga baki ruwan alkaba'i ne zai fita daga cikin bakina? Ko kuma yana tsoron in yanke mishi kai ne? Oho!. Kodayake, wannan ba shine karonshi na farko ba, waya san abinda tsofin matan shi suka mishi lokacin daya tashi yin aurena?.
Wata dariya ta nemi ta kubce min a lokacin, the irony! Wani lokaci can daya wuce, nima fa shirin shigowa gidan nake yi, ba tare da tunanin abinda matanshi suke dandana ba ta dalilin haka. Sai gashi yanzu nima ina dandanarshi. Allah kenan. Kodayake, auren da aka yi bada son raina ba, ina ma hankalina ya kai ga tunanin halin da matanshi suke ciki?.
Yace "madam, barka da war haka".
Murya a sanyaye nace "sannu da zuwa, ya aiki?".
Yadda ya kalleni cike da mamaki yasa nima na kalleshi cike da mamakin, ko bai yi zaton zan amsa mishi bane? Yace "uhmm, lafiya lau. Ya asibitin?".
Na gyada mishi kai.
Muka yi shiru daga ni har shi, kafin yace "Baby, don Allah ki fara saurarata kiji abinda zan ce". Yayi shiru yana kallona yaga ta yadda zan karbi zancen, ban nuna komi ba, sai idanu dana zuba mishi alamun ina saurarenshi.
Yace "Hajara, diyar Alhaji Musbahu ce, abokin baban nan nawa da naje dubawa a Zaria kwanaki. Cewa yayi kawai ya bani ita, zai aura min ita, ni kuma ban san ta yadda zan yi in ce mishi bana son diyarshi ko kuma ba zan iya aurenta ba. Yayi mana halacci matuka a lokacin da muka bukaci taimako. Don Allah kiyi hakuri, amma idan har ba zaki iya ba, wallahi zan iya cewa na fasa".
A raina nace 'kamar gaske!'.
Na kauda kaina gefe ina jin kwalla na ciko min idanu, nace "ni har na isa in hana ka kara aure? Wacece ni?".
Ban san cewa ya tashi daga inda yake ba, sai da naji ya kamo tafin hannuna, yace "saboda kin isa baby, kin kuma kai matsayin da zaki hana ni din in hanu".
Wata yar siririyar kwalla ta zubo min a kan kumatu ya kai yatsa ya dauketa. Sai na fashe da kuka na fada jikinshi, cikin kukan nake cewa "nasan cewa fada kawai kake yi, amma ba zaka fasa ba!".
Yana shafa bayana a hankali, cike da alamun lallashi yake cewa "try me baby, da gaske nake".
Sai dana lafa da kukan, sannan yaci gaba da cewa, "zata zo ta ganki, idan kika ji bata kwanta miki a rai ba, to sai dai suyi hakuri".
Na dan jefa mishi harara, "ni bana wani son ganinta!".
Yayi murmushi a sanyaye, "I'm sorry baby, I love you!".
Ban ce mishi komi ba, don a lokacin wani sashe na zuciyata rada min yake, 'ya daina sonki yanzu!'.
**
Ranar Lahdi da rana, ina falo ina duba wasu manyan textbooks akan midwifery, duk da karatu dana gama hakan bai hana ni cigaba da neman ilimi ta textbooks ba, idan ma Allah ya bani dama so nake in cigaba da masters dina. Kofa naji ana knocking. Cikin mamakin wanda zai zo a daidai wannan lokaci na tashi na nufi kofar. Yaya ya fita dazu da safe, kan cewa zai je wani waje ya dawo, nasan ma bashi bane tunda da shine da ba zai tsaya yin knocking ba.
Tunani na farko daya fara zuwar min shine asubahi ta farko in kama hanya in bar mishi gidan, in yaso sai ya dauko wadda yake so din ya ajiye a gidan nashi, daga baya dai naga cewa wannan gurguwar shawara ce, idan ma na tashi ina zan tafi? Gida dai nasan ko na sha giyar wake, Baba ba zai barni in zauna ba, in ma ce mishi me? Gashua kuwa... Bana ma sako ta cikin lissafi. Nasan ko numfashi ba zan gama ajiyewa ba zan ganni na dawo Abuja.
Tunda nayi sallar asubahi, na koma na kwanta. Duk da dan banzan barcin daya cika min ido, amma na kasa komawa barci. Ta yaya ma zan iya barci a cikin wannan halin?. Hawaye ne masu dan karen zafi da daci suke min zarya a kumatu. Rabin filon da nayi matashin kai dashi ya jike da lemar hawayena.
Wani sashe na can kasan zuciyata kuwa yana fada min I'm just being a hypocrite.
Bai taba fada ba, amma can wani bangare na tunani na yana fada min cewa ba zan taba zama ni kadai a cikin gidan Yaya ba, na sani. Shi yasa na kasa zama comfortable, na kasa sakin jiki balle har in saba da zama ni daya din, amma me yasa duk da hakan, zafin da nake ji a yanzu ya wuce misali?.
Har gari yayi haske, rana ta fito, ban motsa daga inda nake ba, ganin barcin ba zai yiwu ba yanzu yasa na tashi. Sai dana fara shirya Muhaaseen data tashi sannan nima na shirya cikin uniform dina.
Na nadeta cikin shawul mai taushi, na dauki abubuwan da zan bukata na bude kofar dakin na fita.
A falo na kwantar da ita tare da sauran kayan hannuna na shiga kicin. Duk da bana jin yunwa, amma kuma I can't find it in me to starve my husband, ba ma zan ji dadi ba idan ban mishi girkin ba. Don haka na kunna gas. Ganin cewa lokaci ya riga ya kure, yasa nayi sauce din kwai kawai na dafa shayi, na kai kan dinning da biredi na ajiye. Har yanzu Yaya bai fito ba, watakila barci ne ya kwashe shi. Nayi kwafa da nayi tunanin haka, watau shi har lokacin yin barci ya samu? Ya mishi kyau.
*
Tunda naje asibiti na kasa tabuka komi, tun safe har lokacin tashinmu yayi. Yan kananun ayyuka kamar su dressing da sauransu, sai sauran abokan aikina ne suka dinga yin su. Sunyi tambayar duniya, ce musu ciwon kai nake yi kawai na dinga yin. Haka nan na koma gida dai ranar.
Kasa daurewa nayi, na kira Sailu a waya ina kuka tun karfina da jan majina, mata ta rikice ta hau tambayata abinda yake faruwa. Na zayyane mata abinda kenan, ban boye mata komi ba.
Ina gamawa taja tsaki, na daga baki hangangam cikin mamaki ina saurarenta, tace "to sai me? Ni Wallahi nayi zaton wani mummunan abu ne ya faru, har kin bani tsoro".
Na share hawayen fuskata nace "haba Sailuba, yanzu wannan ba mummunan abu bane?".
Tace "mummuna a ina? Yo wai ita kishiyar karshen rayuwarki ce ko me? Yadda kike yi dinnan sai wani yayi tunanin baki taba zama da kishiyar bane, ke da kika zauna da mata har biyu, kika kuma zauna lafiya balle daya?".
Nace "to ita dayar kinsan halinta ne? Ko kuwa kinsan da abinda zata shigo? Su biyun kin san kalar gwagwarmayar da muka sha dasu? Wata fa har sanadin rayuwata ta kusa yi, dayar kuma taso laka min sharrin kisan kai. Haka kawai ina zaman-zamana azo a sanya ni a uku!".
Sailu ta dan saki dariya, "haba dai, kada ki zama raguwa mana. To wai ma, zaki hana shi yin auren nan ne? In fada miki gaskiya, gwanda tun kuna shaidar juna ki hakura, wallahi ki bashi amincewarki. Allah kadai yasan abinda yake cikin auren nan, kuma duk wasu bore-borenki da tashe-tashen hankulanki, babu fa abinda zai hana. Sai dai idan Allah bai nufa ba, ko kuma idan shi din bai ga damar yi bane kawai. Wannan zamani ma Allah na tuba, wa yake wani tayar da hankalinshi akan wata kishiya? Kin san Allah? Ki daina gani yanzu yana wani bin kanki yana lallashinki, na dan lokaci ne. Tun kafin ya daina biye miki, ki bada kai bori ya hau, don ba zaki ji dadi ba wallahi".
Na daga baki nace, "amma...".
Tace "amma me? Ni fa in nice ke ko? Wallahi babu wani tada hankalina da zanyi, akan me? Miji ne, nasan yana min son da babu wata 'ya mace da zata iya kamo kafata. Idan kuma kika iya rawar ki da takunki, wallahi ko ta shigo babu wani abu da zai sauya. Don haka don Allah ki kwantar da hankalinki Na'ilah, nasan cewa baki son kishiya, amma ina tabbatar miki da cewa ba duka fa aka taru aka zama daya ba. Duk wadda kika ga tayi wani da ba daidai ba, dama can halinta ne. Ke yanzu da ya aureki, kin taba tunanin daidai da rana daya akan kiyi yadda zaki yi ki kori kishiyoyinki?".
Na girgiza kai a hankali, kafin na tuna cewa bata gani na, na daga baki da kyar nace "a'ah", maganganunta sun sanya min rawar jiki, sun kuma jefa ni cikin tunani.
Tace "to kin gani? Halayenki masu kyau ne, haka kuma niyarki tsarkakkiya ce. Zata iya yiwuwa itama wadda zai aura din, maybe, itama niyarta daya da taki. Ba zaki taba sani ba. Kada ki damu, kinji?".
Na kai hannuwa ina share hawayen fuskata with determination, nace "haka ne, nagode Sailu".
Tace "ni ce da godiya Na'ilah, naji dadi da kika fara nema na. Baki nemi wadda zata jefa tunanin da zai jirkitar dake ba. Sai anjima". Muka kashe wayar.
Na koma na kwanta tare da ajiye wayar a gefena, maganganun da muka tattauna da ita suna kara min tariya a cikin kaina.
⋆
Karfe kusan bakwai Yaya ya dawo daga wajen aiki. Ina kan abin sallah ina lazumi lokacin daya leko dakina, bai ce komi ba ya wuce inda Muhaaseen take kwance yana mata yan wasanni. Ban ce mishi komi ba har ya gama, ya juyo yana kallona with wariness.
Wani abu yazo ya cake ni a kirji, har yaushe ne mijina ya fara kallona da wannan sigar? Har yaushe ya fara kallona a tsorace, kamar wanda yake tsoron yana daga baki ruwan alkaba'i ne zai fita daga cikin bakina? Ko kuma yana tsoron in yanke mishi kai ne? Oho!. Kodayake, wannan ba shine karonshi na farko ba, waya san abinda tsofin matan shi suka mishi lokacin daya tashi yin aurena?.
Wata dariya ta nemi ta kubce min a lokacin, the irony! Wani lokaci can daya wuce, nima fa shirin shigowa gidan nake yi, ba tare da tunanin abinda matanshi suke dandana ba ta dalilin haka. Sai gashi yanzu nima ina dandanarshi. Allah kenan. Kodayake, auren da aka yi bada son raina ba, ina ma hankalina ya kai ga tunanin halin da matanshi suke ciki?.
Yace "madam, barka da war haka".
Murya a sanyaye nace "sannu da zuwa, ya aiki?".
Yadda ya kalleni cike da mamaki yasa nima na kalleshi cike da mamakin, ko bai yi zaton zan amsa mishi bane? Yace "uhmm, lafiya lau. Ya asibitin?".
Na gyada mishi kai.
Muka yi shiru daga ni har shi, kafin yace "Baby, don Allah ki fara saurarata kiji abinda zan ce". Yayi shiru yana kallona yaga ta yadda zan karbi zancen, ban nuna komi ba, sai idanu dana zuba mishi alamun ina saurarenshi.
Yace "Hajara, diyar Alhaji Musbahu ce, abokin baban nan nawa da naje dubawa a Zaria kwanaki. Cewa yayi kawai ya bani ita, zai aura min ita, ni kuma ban san ta yadda zan yi in ce mishi bana son diyarshi ko kuma ba zan iya aurenta ba. Yayi mana halacci matuka a lokacin da muka bukaci taimako. Don Allah kiyi hakuri, amma idan har ba zaki iya ba, wallahi zan iya cewa na fasa".
A raina nace 'kamar gaske!'.
Na kauda kaina gefe ina jin kwalla na ciko min idanu, nace "ni har na isa in hana ka kara aure? Wacece ni?".
Ban san cewa ya tashi daga inda yake ba, sai da naji ya kamo tafin hannuna, yace "saboda kin isa baby, kin kuma kai matsayin da zaki hana ni din in hanu".
Wata yar siririyar kwalla ta zubo min a kan kumatu ya kai yatsa ya dauketa. Sai na fashe da kuka na fada jikinshi, cikin kukan nake cewa "nasan cewa fada kawai kake yi, amma ba zaka fasa ba!".
Yana shafa bayana a hankali, cike da alamun lallashi yake cewa "try me baby, da gaske nake".
Sai dana lafa da kukan, sannan yaci gaba da cewa, "zata zo ta ganki, idan kika ji bata kwanta miki a rai ba, to sai dai suyi hakuri".
Na dan jefa mishi harara, "ni bana wani son ganinta!".
Yayi murmushi a sanyaye, "I'm sorry baby, I love you!".
Ban ce mishi komi ba, don a lokacin wani sashe na zuciyata rada min yake, 'ya daina sonki yanzu!'.
**
Ranar Lahdi da rana, ina falo ina duba wasu manyan textbooks akan midwifery, duk da karatu dana gama hakan bai hana ni cigaba da neman ilimi ta textbooks ba, idan ma Allah ya bani dama so nake in cigaba da masters dina. Kofa naji ana knocking. Cikin mamakin wanda zai zo a daidai wannan lokaci na tashi na nufi kofar. Yaya ya fita dazu da safe, kan cewa zai je wani waje ya dawo, nasan ma bashi bane tunda da shine da ba zai tsaya yin knocking ba.