Sashe 27

sayo mata tsana a wurinta. Haka duk abubuwan dake faruwa a lokacin jinyarsa yana lura. Waretan da suke yi shi yafi komai saka shi a damuwa. Shi ya san Mama bata yin Safiyyah tun farko. In kuma Mama bata yin ka, ba wanda ya isa yasa ta yi ka. Mafi a’ala gareka shine ka yi nesa da shiga sha’aninta. Zayyan ya kara rintse idonsa a lokacin da tunaninsa yazo nan, ya ciza lebbansa na kasa cikin tuno rayuwar Baba Bello. It was a bitter past moment da baya ko son tunawa, amma dole ya tuna presence din Baba cikin rayuwarsu. Baba ya so Safiyyarsa, ya so zamar mata bango abin jingina a cikin iyalinsa. Aka ce Allah baya barin wani don wani yaji dadi, shekarar Zayyan uku da auren Safiyyah Allah ya karbi ran mahaifinsa Arch. Prof. Bello Rafindadi. A wannan shekarar da Baba Bello ya rasu, shugaban kasa ‘yar Aduwa shima ya rasu. Jihar Katsina bakidaya ta gigita ta girgiza. Katsinawan Dikko sun dimauta. Anyi rashin da za’a dade ba’a mayar a Katsina ba. Safiyyah ta rasa mai kaunarta da gaskiya a family din Zayyan, wanda yake tamkar ‘shield’ ko ‘savior’ a gareta, Late Arch. Prof Bello Rafindadi. Mutuwar data gigita iyalinsa, da daukacin al’ummar jihar baki daya. A ranar lafiya kalau yayi sallar isha’I ya koma ya kishingida, kafin gari ya waye sai barci mai nauyi ya daukeshi. Ashe Baba tafiyar kenan, don ganin gari ya waye hantsi na neman ya dubi ludayi Baba bai juya ba bai motsa ba bai kuma tashi yayi sallahr asubah ba, hakan yasa Mama shan jinin jikinta, don ta san Baba ko ciwo baya saka shi jinkirta sallah balle barci. Ilai kuwa tana dubawa ta tabbatar Baba anyi shahadar daren Juma’ah. Ta kira Zayyan a waya a lokacin yana kan hanyar isowa asibitin da abincin safensu. Yaji muryar Mama cikin rishin kuka tana fadin. “Na rasa bango na Baffa, na rasa komai na. Bello ya tafi ya barni daku! Mazan duniya sunyi kaura, sun barni a duniya da tarin marayunsu, sun amsa kiran mahaliccinsu”. **** **** **** Fadin halin da Zayyan ya shiga na rashin Baba yayi kadan biro ya rubuta shi, a ranar aka wuce da gawar Baba Katsina, dimbin al’ummar ciki da wajen Rafindadi sukayi jana’idarsa a washegari. In kaga Safiyyah da Zayyan lokacin amsar makokin Baba suna daka koyaushe, ko fitowa cikin jama’a basa yi, in ka gansu duka sai sun baka tausayi, sun yi laushi kamar an zare musu laka da bargo, musamman Safiyyah, da take ji a jikinta mai sonta kwalli daya cikin gidan Rafindadi ya tafi ya barta cikin fitinannun iyalinsa, wadanda ita da kanta ta shaida bata da farinjini a wurinsu. Malam da Ammi tare dasu Sabah sun zo musu ta’aziyyah daga Dandume, sun wuni sur tare da ita a gidan makokin, Malam Usman ya girgiza kwarai da gushewar surukinsa na kwarai wanda suka zama tamkar abokai wato Baba Bello, saida aka yi sadaqar bakwai ne mutane suka fara watsewa Safiyyah da Zayyan ma suka koma Zaria. Tunda suka dawo gida kuma sai Zayyan ya komawa Safiyyah tamkar yaron goye, ya jangabe a kwance ya kasa tsinana komai, komai sai ta kawo masa inda yake har Ruwan alwala ta kuma saka masa naci sannan zaiyi, abinci kuwa sai ta bashi a baki, kafin ta fahimci tamkar ciwon damuwa na wucin gadi ya kama shi (depression) don shikadai yasan halin rashin da yake ciki, shikadai yasan girman rashin Baba da yayi, da kuma irin kewarsa dake nukurkusar zuciyarsa da azabtar da ruhinsa bayan ya kaishi makwancinsa na gaskiya, don yasan rayuwa bazata kara koma masa yadda take a baya ba, tunda babu Baba. Har ila yau, damuwarsa takan karu idan yana kintato girman burden din da ya hau kansa yanzu, na kula da mahaifiya da marayun kanne mata wadanda Baba Allah bai yi zai aurar dasu da hannunsa ba, wannan ma ya taka muhimmiyar rawa wajen jefa shi a halin da ya samu kansa na zama depressed, ga wani zazzabi-zazzabin damuwa da masassara dake sakadarsa cikin dare, alamun son shiga lalurar ‘anxiety’ sun gama bayyana kansu a tare dashi, sallah kadai yake iya tashi yayi in Safiyyah ta matsa masa, ko aiki Zayyan ya daina zuwa. Safiyyah a kan haka saida ta dangana da dauko Malam wato mahaifinta, tun daga Dandume yazo har Zaria, tana kuka tace Malam yazo ya taimaketa Zayyan ya zama daddawar daka yafison ta barshi yayi ta kwanciya a gado kamar ruwa, ya daina fita aiki, karon Malam Usman na farko kenan da taka kafarsa gidan diyarsa ta farko da yake kira Nana Safiyyah. Malam Usman ya samu Zayyan har kan gadon Safiyyah, ya rufeshi da wa’azi da nasiha mai shiga jiki da huda zuciyar musulmi, akan ya karbi rashin mahaifinsa da kyakkyawar zuciya da tawakkali cikin godiya ga mahaliccinsa, yace hakan shine cikar imanin bawa. Har ila yau, Malam yace masa, ya tuna nauyin da yake rataye kansa yanzu, na uwa da ‘yan uwa, sai ya zama namijin duniya sosai zai iya saukewa musaman sha’ani na mata, yace ya tsaya akan zuciyarsa kada ya bari ta rinjayeshi yayi fushi da yin Allah. Allah yafi shi son Baba Bello, shi yasa ya dauke abinshi, a sanda kowa ke tsaka da bukatarsa. Ko ya san cewa mafi yawan mutanen kirki basu cika jimawa a gidan duniya ba? Malam Usman bai tafi ba saida yasa Zayyan ya shiga toilet yayi wanka, yayi askin fuska da yanke akaifarsa, ya canza kayan jikinsa daga jallabiyyar data jima a jikinsa, ya kuma umarceshi da ya daure yaje ya ga Mama don Safiyyah ta gaya masa tun baya sadakar bakwai bai kuma komawa Katsina ba, kuma baya kiran kowa a waya, yama kashe wayarsa tun da jimawa, Mama ko ta kira bata samunsa, fadin ranta kuma ya hana ta kira Safiyyah tace ta hadasu, Malam ya tuna masa cewa shine karfinta a yanzu don haka ya dinga zuwa ganinta akai-akai fiyeda baya. Bayan tafiyar Malam Usman a daren ranar Safiyyah itama kwana tayi lallashin Zayyan, tana mai tunasar dashi muhimmancin karbar kaddara kyakkyawa ko mummuna. Tace. “Shi kam Baba ai kowa ya san tasa tayi kyau, tunda ya rabu da kowa lafiya, ya mutu bai yi satar dukiyar al’umma ba, babu bashin kowa a kansa. Dubi yadda al’ummar musulmi suka yi dafifi don raka shi masaukinsa na gaskiya. Hakika Baba ya samu kyakkyawar shaida ta kwarai, irin wadda kowa ke burin samu a karshen rayuwarsa Habiby. Baba abin so ga Dalibansa, kada ka so ka ga yadda dalibansa suka dinga tuttudowa zuwa ta’aziyyarsa, da sauran al’ummar Katsina bakidaya”. Safiyyah bata gushe ba cikin lallashin, tareda gaya masa kyawawan halayen mahaifinsa da kowa ke fadi, wadanda sukasa ake masa kyakkyawan zato. Kawai sai ya mika hannnu ya janyota jikinsa, tabi umarninsa ta kwanta lumm a kirjinsa, su duka suna sauke ajiyar zuciyar tuna Baba Bello. A karshe sai da ta dangana da inganta masa daren, yadda biro bazai iya bayyanawa ba sannan ya fara regaining consciousness, wani yanayine suka samu kansu na tsantsar soyayya mai shiga rai da farantawa juna rai, bayan nan haka suka kasance manne da juna cikin duvet a tsayin daren bakidayansa. Fatan ta da burinta kadai Zayyan ya dawo hayyacinsa, ya karbi rashin Baba in good faith, so take ya koma Zayyan dinsa data sani, mai karancin far’a da rashin faram-faram, wato ya dawo normal Zayyan dinsa na baya, shikuma Zayyan bata sani ba, ya yanke tsammani da hakan, don ji yake a jikinsa bazai taba warwarewa daga rashin Baba har abada ba. Baba ya tafi ya bar shi da wata irin kewarsa, ga nauyin mahaifiyarsa, kanne mata da ya yayye mata shi kadai namiji kwal a cikinsu da ya hau kansa yanzu. Wannan kadai in ya tuna yana kara saka masa damuwa, don ya san yadda Baba ya rayu wajen sonsu da nuna musu kauna hadi da kyautatawa iyalin sa ba mai iya maye musu wannan gurbin. Iyalin Baba basu san babu ba, basu san su nemi wani abu su rasa ba. Kome sukeso shi yake basu in dai baifi karfinsa ba. Baba tsayayye ne akan bukatun gidansa da tarbiyyar su Hatoon, duk da ba koyaushe yake samun yadda yake so daga Mama akansu ba. Shi kam har bai san ta ina za’a fara da maye musu wannan babban gibin ba. Maye gurbin Baba babban maye gurbi ne mai wuyar samu. Ko yace wanda bazai samu ba. Bazai taba mantawa da watarana da Hatoon tace bata son abinda aka girka a gidan, haka Baba ya dauki mota ya fita cikin dare ya nemo mata abinda take so, haka da Zaitoon bata cin Biredi sa Gurasa Baba Gurasa yake saya mata kullum har rasuwarsa bai fasa ba. Duk sanda yaji mai zuwa kano sai yayiwa Zaitoon sautun Gurasa. Ire-iren kulawar Baba Bello kenan akan iyalinsa, in dai akan farin cikinsu ne baida namba two, ko ta ina zai kwatanta zama shi a garesu??? Baba Bello daya ne cikin dubu, ko a cikin iyaye, ta fuskar kula da iyali, komai cewa yake “my family first”. Kasancewarsa shikadai namiji a cikin su a ganinsa bazai isa hujjar da zai iya zamewa ahalin Baba makwafinshi ba, ko mayewa ‘yan uwansa da uwarsu wawakeken gurbin da Baba ya bari. Gabadaya wannan tunanin yasa ya raunana, babu sauran jarumta ko kankani a tare da shi, sabida tunanin halayen Baba masu wuyar imitating. Ba rabo da gwani ba, aka ce maida kamarsa! **** **** **** Da wannan mutuwar jikin da raunin zuciyar yake kwana yake tashi tun rasuwar Baba Bello. Wanda shi ya kassara shi, ya kuma karar da duk wani karsashin da yake dashi, ya kusa sabbaba masa ‘anxiety disorder’. Duk kuwa da kokarin Safiyyah na son (reviving mood) dinsa da yi masa addu’a a ruwa ta bashi ya sha, hadi da nau’ikan kulawa da soyayyarta na macen kwarai wadda ta damu da situation din mijinta, mijinta Zayyan da kusan suke sharing the same feelings itada shi a komai. Soyayya take gwada masa gangariya akan gadon barcinsu, but he hardly respond. Komai ya fita kansa fit, including soyayyar. Shi kawai ya san bazai taba mayar da farin cikin da ya samu a rayuwar da yayi tare da mahaifinsa ba, tun daga haihuwarsa har girmansa a jikin Baba Zayyan ya rayu.