part of her heart to break because she kept being proved wrong.

Moving from Bella and Ibrahim’s pages, she pulled up the pages of every
member of the squad; from Anneth down to Jalal. The silhouette photos
finally made sense and in a particular one on Nathaniel’s page, Ibrahim and
Bella were captured kissing, both of them in a water body with the sunset in
the distance; a photo people always assumed held Nathaniel himself and his
wife.
They never completely lied, Ayra realised, but they’d played her good and
she didn’t think she could free herself of any blame. People who loved her
always said she loved Ibrahim too much. Seeing how everything was playing
out, Ayra wished she’d listened to them. All she’d wanted was to be loved
back by him and for a near year, she was convinced that was the case but
it’d been a lie. All of it had been a well-crafted lie that she’d only began to
unravel.

LATIFAH EFUA A.
282

There were still so many questions that required answers and although she
was still scared, she knew she had to find out. She had to know when the lie
started, how and why they’d pulled her into it, and how they’d planned to
keep her in it for the rest of their lives because she couldn’t understand
much no matter how hard she tried.
When the throbbing in her head returned, she knew she had to force herself
to sleep or she’d physically break and she didn’t want to risk it. Not when
she still wasn’t sure what she wanted to do moving forward although she’d
sent a text to Ibrahim, pretending as though was well; a text he was still yet
to reply. It wasn’t as though she was waiting for him to do so, now that she
knew what he was up to with the woman he actually loved.
She closed all her open applications and shut down the laptop. She was
rising to her feet when her phone screen lit up, notifying her of a new
message from Ibtihaj. Not feeling anything including the guilt she expected
to hit her, Ayra picked the device and unlocked it, clicking on the new
message.
Ibty: Babe, you good? I’ve been trying to reach you but network
seems to be shitty because your line’s been unreachable. Anyways,
how did you and Ibro’s dinner go? I hope he appreciated it or I’d kill
him.
You were offline throughout today and if not for this yeye meeting I
had, I would have come over to be sure you’re fine. I was hoping to
come tomorrow but this stupid company I work for want us (all the
remote workers) to come in to Cardiff on Sunday so my flight leaves
tomorrow night and Mummy said I have to follow her to the market
before I can even think of leaving. God abeg!
Anyways, call me abeg so I can be sure you’re good. I love you, Ayra,
and if that Ibro does anything, let me know so I can actually go
through with killing him (and yes, I don’t care if he’s reading this
with you).
Let it not be like I’m disturbing you o. Goodnight! You better reply me
by tomorrow morning or I’ll leave what I have to do and come and
disturb you.
Bye!
For the first time in the years they’d been best friends, Ayra felt herself
being glad that Ibtihaj was going to be out of the country and she sincerely
prayed Ibtihaj stayed out for a long time. She waited for the guilt to hit; to
feel like she was a bad friend for making that prayer. It never did.
Not wanting Ibtihaj to show up at the apartment, Ayra did what she’d done
with Ibrahim. She acted as though all was fine and typed out the perfect
reply where she said Ibrahim enjoyed every dish and that he’s been the best

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
283

husband ever since. She said she’d spent the entire day with him and so her
phone had been on DND because they didn’t want to be disturbed and
then she said she would try to visit Ibtihaj before the latter had to leave for
Cardiff, adding “if I can because Ibrahim and I really filled up this
weekend”.
Ibtihaj’s reply came almost immediately.
Ibty: Come, see this woman o! It’s me you’re putting in second place,
Ayra! No wahala. In fact, you and Oga Ibro should continue sticking
to yourselves like glue. Don’t allow me see you until I return from
Cardiff. I may be there for a while sha because I want to tour and the
visa I got (this my company is connected sha) lasts for a month or so.
Let me not see you until I get back. Wahala for who is not married. I’ll
pay you back, I swear.
With a straight face and no flutter in her chest or laughter that easily slipped
past her lips, Ayra typed out her reply and attached laughing and heart
emojis.
Ayra: I love you too!
Not wanting to get even one more message, she turned the phone off and
gathered her things before leaving the kitchen, remembering to switch the
lights off. She dragged herself up the stairs and went straight to her room.
Dumping everything on the loveseat, she crawled into bed and lay on her
right side, staring at the wall until she barely saw it anymore as her mind
shut down, putting a firm lid over every discovery she’d made.
A minute later, the darkness that came with sleep began pulling her in and
she gladly surrendered to it, praying she found peace there until she had to
wake up and return to the nightmare that was now her life.
In the gated compound at Costa Casa, Bella laughed when Ibrahim pulled
her close; both of them skinny dipping in the wide pool underneath the star
studded night sky. Her arms on his shoulders, she smiled lovingly at him.
“Are you finally going to tell me why we’re leaving Costa Casa tomorrow?”
He smiled back, just as beautifully as she did. “I was able to make a
reservation on another island we’ve always wanted to visit and I don’t see
why we should stay here much longer when we can be celebrating there, the
way we’d originally planned on doing.”
Her heart swooned and her mind raced as she tried to figure out what
island he’d picked from their world list. “And are you going to let it slip or
are you still going to be a devil and hide it from me?”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
284

He laughed, loving how her legs came around his waist underneath the
water’s surface. “Depends. Have you forgiven me?”
She pretended to think. “I mean, you have done a lot of beautiful things
since we left Aomi so I guess I can put you in my good book once again.”
Her smile returned. “Where are we going, Serkan?”
He traced a random shape on her bare back, loving how she shivered
slightly; something that hadn’t changed despite all the years they’d been
together. He kept his eyes on hers. “A woman I love with all of my heart
always wanted to visit Fiji and ever since she came across the ad, she’s been
crazy about the lagoon plunge pool bungalow at the Royal Davui Island
so…”
Her eyes were wide and she looked as though he’d wrapped the galaxy in a
gift box and handed it over to her. “Oh my days, Serkan!”
Ibrahim’s expression softened while his heart soared at how happy he’d
made her. “Is that good enough?”
“It’s perfect! I couldn’t have asked for anything more.” She rewarded him
with a big kiss and when she pulled back, she excitedly asked “How long
are we staying?”
“A week and two days.” He was excited too. “Just you and me, surrounded
by all that beauty.”
She squealed. “Yes!” She kissed him again. “I love you!”
His laughter rang out nicely. “I love you too, Sevgilim. I’m always going to
do so.”
She laughed and kissed him yet again, knowing his words were true and that
they were always going to be that way.
♣
The mosque in front of Ayra was beautiful. Although she’d driven past it a
number of times in the near year she’d lived in the area, she’d never really
stopped to come in. Until now.
As she stared at it, the bag in her left hand felt heavier and it was as though
an invisible weight began to press down on her chest; only slightly but there
all the same. She hadn’t planned to come to the mosque. She hadn’t
planned it at all.
Hours earlier, just before Jumm’ah, she’d woken up from the longest,
deepest dreamless sleep she’d ever had and once she was bathed and
changed, she’d proceeded to clear out various parts of the walk-in

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
285

wardrobe, wanting to get rid of every single bottle of the Tom Ford Oud
Wood perfume along with every piece of clothing that had its scent on it.
Everything she cleared out filled a medium sized travelling bag and she’d
left the apartment in an abaya and its accompanying veil, determined to
dump it all in a trash can blocks away from The Oasis so she didn’t have to
see it in case she came back out hours later. However, her body and mind
had other plans and she found herself walking past trash cans until she
reached the mosque; a sanctuary she’d never entered. When she thought
about it, she couldn’t actually remember Ibrahim going to a mosque a lot;
only on the Fridays they spent together and even then, they went all the way
to Monwict where the National Mosque was.
Every other time they were together, they prayed together and she always
assumed he prayed at the office or wherever he was when he and the others
were on a trip. She never used to ask “Have you prayed, Ibrahim?” and he
never did too, something she’d wanted as a norm in her matrimonial home.
Ayra found herself blinking tears back, surprised her tear glands that had
been dry just the previous day were functional again. Sniffling, she held the
bag tighter and swallowed the growing lump in her throat, taking in every
visible part of the mosque in front of her.
The square shaped building had layered exterior walls that brought together
coffee brown and chanterelle beige paint. The mosque’s single minaret
stood tall, calligraphy done on a side at the top with the crescent moon and
star – Islam’s signature symbol – perched up high. The mosque had full
length widows with beautifully patterned protectors which were painted
white. At intervals on the interlocked ground were plants and flowers that
were well groomed.
Ayra wondered if anyone was in there. It was past Asr after all and she
wasn’t sure she wanted to be seen by a lot of people. For the first time since
her life had been thrown off its orbit, she cared about her appearance. She
wondered if she was beautiful enough to walk into one of Allah’s homes
because she didn’t feel beautiful at all.
The weight on her chest pressed down a little harder and she moved the
bag from her left hand to her right, not once looking away from the
beautiful – and peaceful – sanctuary in front of her while the breeze blew
softly. Lost in it all, she failed to notice the woman who came out from the
back area of the mosque, a trash bag in hand which she disposed in the
trash can in a corner.
The woman, wearing a turquoise two piece jilbab, turned to head in but
stopped at the sight of Ayra who kept staring at the mosque with glassy

LATIFAH EFUA A.
286

eyes. The woman’s line of sight moved from Ayra’s face to the bag in the
latter’s hand and her heart dropped as so many women had come to that
particular mosque and to other mosques all around the island, wanting a
place of peace even for a little while.
Hiding the way her heart went out to Ayra, the woman schooled her
expression and smiled warmly. She put her hands together and walked over,
crossing the distance between them. “Assalam Alaykum.”
Startled, Ayra nearly jumped. She turned to the other woman with slightly
wide eyes, fear clawing at her chest. “W-Waalaykum Salam.” She suddenly
wanted to run. “I’m sorry, I was just –”
The other woman’s smile widened sincerely, radiating warmth that went
straight to Ayra’s chest. “Admiring the mosque?”
Ayra was hit with the urge to break down there and then as the warmth of
the woman’s smile reminded her so much of her own mother, Salama. She
could only swallow. “I…” She didn’t know how to continue. “I was just…”
“Would you like a cup of tea, sweetheart? There’s nothing better for a body
that needs rest than a lovely cup of tea with the right amount of honey. And
there’s nowhere better for a heavy heart than the house of Allah. So you’re
in safe hands, sweetheart. My name is Maya Aman. I’m the wife of the
Imam.”
Ayra had to force her sobs back, now holding onto the bag with both her
hands. The other woman – Maya – did not stop smiling as she took a small
step forward. “So, sweetheart, would you like a cup of tea?”
Ayra nodded. “Yes, please.”
Five minutes and introductions later, she sat in the tea room in the office
area at the back of the mosque. The bag she’d carried sat on the floor, just
right by her chair, and she only looked up from her hands when a cup of
chamomile tea was put in front of her. Maya smiled at her once again.
“Don’t let it get cold.”
Ayra could only nod and she watched the other woman help herself with a
cup before sitting on the opposite side of the small, round table. Ayra’s line
of sight dropped to the cup of tea in front of her and meekly, she reached
out her hands, wrapping her fingers around the warm mug and barely
holding herself back from crying as the warmth seeped upwards from the
tip of her fingers.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
287

On the other side of the table, Maya took a tip of her tea and lowered the
cup, putting it on the wooden top. She then exhaled quietly. “That’s a lovely
bag.”
Ayra looked at the bag and made a spontaneous decision. She swallowed
and pushed the bag towards Maya. “I…I want to donate these. I actually
wanted to throw them away but now that I’m here, I think I should donate
them. Surely, there’ll be people who need them better than I do.”
Finding a little relief in the thought that Ayra probably wasn’t urgently
fleeing from something or someone, Maya took the bag and opened it. She
went through the dresses, shirts, trousers, and veils that had been so neatly
folded above the bottles of perfumes, all of them in perfect condition.
Once again masking how her mind reeled and how her chest squeezed, she
raised her head and smiled.
“May Allah bless you, Ayra.” She zipped the bag shut and put it down.
“There’s a shelter in Eastside for the less privileged people from within and
outside Aomi so I have no doubt this would be of great help to them.
Jazakhallah Khair for not throwing them out and coming here instead.”
Ayra choked on a sob. “I don’t know what led me here. I didn’t plan it at
all.”
Maya’s chest squeezed again. “Allah led you here. He knew these could be
used for something better so he led you here.”
Ayra’s restraints began snapping; one after the other, and she tried so, so
hard to not give in but it was impossible. Once again, she began to spiral;
every emotion coming at her with no single ounce of mercy. Painfully
watching as the woman in front of her broke down, Maya reached out a
hand and placed it on Ayra’s.
“It’s okay to cry, Ayra. You can let it all out and I’ll be here, I promise.
You’re not alone right now. In Shaa Allah you won’t be alone anymore. So
let it all out. You’ll feel better.”
The last restraint broke and Ayra’s sobs were let loose. Maya moved then.
She stood from her chair, walked around the table and hugged Ayra, patting
her back. “It’ll be fine, In Shaa Allah. It’s going to be okay.”
Ayra simply cried harder.

LATIFAH EFUA A.
288

28 (Part II)
“If you want to talk, I’ll listen and if you don’t, that’s fine too. We can just
finish our teas and I can invite you to be a part of our sister community. It’s
all up to you, Ayra. I just want you to feel better before you return home.”
Ayra smiled sadly at that. “It’s not home anymore…I called it home since
late last year but it’s not home anymore. It’s never been.”
Maya was at loss for words. “Oh.”
Ayra sniffled and then exhaled, motivated to talk as Maya wasn’t in anyway
related to her or to her family. She felt safe and strangely at peace. “I’ve
been in love with my husband since I was thirteen. I met him for the first
time on a Friday and since then all I wanted was to be his wife. He’s ten
years older than I am and he didn’t really know about me until 2019.”
Maya nodded to show that she was following. Keeping her gaze on her
hands, Ayra continued. “I spent the past eight years of my life getting to
know everything about him, loving and praying for him from a distance.
Our families are friends but we move in different circles so my husband
and I didn’t see ourselves. Also, he’d already gone on to be a prodigy with
his friends while I was still schooling.”
She paused to breathe. “My parents didn’t encourage my feelings for him
but they didn’t make me feel awful about it and there were family members
who told me to not hold on to him because there was more to life and there
were more people that I’d meet. But we’ve always been taught that Allah
makes the impossible possible so I never gave up. Even when my best
friend came into my life and kept shaking sense into my head, I never gave
up. I called his name in every prayer I made and I held on tight to the hope
that Allah would reward my perseverance. And He did. It took seven years
but he did and I was over the moon, Maya. I was so happy.”
It was Maya’s turn to get emotional; a lump growing in her throat as she
continued listening.
“His marriage proposal came out of nowhere and I was so, so happy that I
wasted no time in accepting because I was convinced I knew everything
about him as I’d spent my teenage years focusing on him at every given
opportunity. I felt as though there was no need to hesitate or act as though
I was still thinking about it when I already knew my answer. My best friend,
Ibty, calls that dragging class. I didn’t want to drag class when I knew what
I wanted so I said yes and we got engaged. That was July last year. It was on
my birthday so I remember it very, very well. We didn’t talk after that. We
didn’t talk until the day of my graduation which was in August.”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
289

“Why?”
It was a new realisation for Ayra and her brows furrowed. “I actually don’t
know…I assumed he was busy then because the news spoke about him and
the others working on the Nohean branch of The Hexad so I just assumed
he couldn’t find some time to talk to me. God, that’s why Ibty was so
sceptical. Oh my God…”
Maya, who’d put two and two together in order to know the Ayra in front
of her was the same woman married to Ibrahim Fahad, put her hands on
her laps as her chest squeezed again. “I’m sorry, Ayra.”
Ayra reached up to rub her temple. “We didn’t talk for a month, Maya, and
I was fine with it. I told everyone close to me that he was busy and it was
alright. Then on the day of my graduation, his parents called my father and
told him Ibrahim hadn’t reached out because he wanted our first
conversation to be in person and with his schedule, it’d been hard…I was
over the moon and I looked forward to our engagement party which was
that same day. Oh Allah…”
Maya swallowed the lump in her throat, unable to not say anything.
“Then during the engagement party, he was able to take me away from
everyone else and we went to the second living room at my parents’ home
because he wanted us to talk privately. Along the line we spoke about how
long we’ve liked each other and he said he’d liked me since October 2019
when he came across an Instagram post of mine. He told me how he’d
done his digging and how he’d fallen for me and that when he went to his
parents, they said bringing a marriage proposal would be better and they
did.”
“And you accepted.”
Ayra let her hand drop back to her lap and she nodded. “I did…And then
we started planning the wedding and I blissfully went with everything.”
“I’m guessing it went well. The planning process I mean.”
“There was a hitch at the beginning because his family…” Looking back
with a new set of eyes made the memory even painful and Ayra had so
many more questions. “His family was a little difficult at first and it nearly
made everything fall apart but he pleaded so genuinely and I didn’t want to
lose him. After that, everything went well…Then we got married.”
“How has it been since then?”
Ayra felt herself shake her head slowly; from right to left as everything hit
her as it’d been doing in the past days. “The first night was spent alone but

LATIFAH EFUA A.
290

I don’t want to go into details about it. He came home before Fajr and it
was fine. Then we went for our honeymoon and it was blissful.”
The thought she’d had then in Zanzibar came flooding back; the thought of
him being good at intimacy, as though he’d done it before. Ayra felt as
though she’d been stabbed again and she wondered when it was all going to
end; if it was ever going to end.
She had to breathe in and out. “It was blissful, Maya, and then we came
home to face married life together and I can’t tell you it played out the way
I’d always imagined because it didn’t.”
“In what way?”
“Ibrahim’s a workaholic. I’d always known that and I was also working on
my master’s but still…He spent long hours at the office and there were
trips. And then he missed events. He always made it up to me and I always
moved on from them but…Last month was the worst. He returned for my
birthday after being away for so, so long and then he said he couldn’t stay
long because they still had so much to do. He promised to be back home
for Eid and my graduation but…”
Tears began to well up in Maya’s eyes. “He never did.”
Ayra nodded, just once. “He never did. He did return on the day of my
graduation but he’d missed it all and that period was so, so hard for me. I
was always crying and I couldn’t even find joy in the fact that I was done
with school and all of that…I knew it made my best friend mad but I didn’t
know how mad it made her until he said she told him to send me back
home if this was how our marriage was going to keep being.”
Maya sniffled. “You have a very good friend, Ayra.”
Ayra, moved to tears once again, nodded. “I do and I thank Allah for her so
many times.”
“So what happened after that?”
“It was a big issue. Well, it was the biggest issue we’d had and he cried and
continuously apologised and he just…He was so determined to make things
right and we ended up going to Santorini for a week. We talked things out
and we made compromises. Everything was good, Maya. Everything was
perfect. We came back early this month and it was still so beautiful…Until
Wednesday. Everything stopped being beautiful on Wednesday.”
A tear slid down Maya’s cheek and she used the back of her hand to quickly
wipe it away. “What happened on Wednesday, Ayra?”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
291

Ayra stared at nothing in particular and the smile she had on her face was
small but laced with everything that told Maya she – Ayra – was a woman in
unfathomable pain.
“He was supposed to take me and my best school to school to pick up our
final degree documents but a message came in from his friend, saying he
was needed at the company for a meeting. I actually had been making plans
to surprise him with lunch or dinner one of these days because he had been
extremely sweet since we returned so I was actually happy about the fact
that he’d been called out…My family and my best friend’s family live in the
same estate so I say hi to my mum first before picking Ibty up. She even
teased me about it but I didn’t mind. I was really looking forward to it and
immediately I dropped her, I came back home.”
Maya felt fear slowly creep into her chest. Ayra managed a small, dry laugh
before she adjusted her veil.
“He came home earlier than I expected. I was literally about the put the
sauce on the cooker when I heard the sound of him imputing the passcode.
He inputted the wrong one and since it’d happened before, I didn’t think
much of it. Knowing there was no way I could whip up a dish so quickly, I
decided to surprise him by hiding behind the wall and jumping on his back
when he stepped into the living room from the foyer…I never got to do
so.”
Maya gripped her jilbab skirt, fear holding her heart captive. Ayra’s pained
smile returned as everything played out in her head as though she was
reliving that cursed hour.
“There was a soft thud, as though something had fallen, so I leaned forward
to check and…Right there in the foyer I had loved from the first day I
stepped into the apartment, my husband was kissing his best friend in a way
he’d never kissed me before.”
Maya’s heart dropped to the pit of her stomach and blood drained from her
face. “Innalillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon.”
Ayra kept smiling, even when a tear slid down her left cheek; a tear she
barely felt. “I can’t describe how it felt in that moment but if I had to liken
it to something, I would tell you that it felt as though I was a glasshouse and
people had thrown so many stones. I don’t even know how I did it but I
pushed myself back against the wall and put my hands over my mouth to
stop myself from making a single sound while things escalated between
them in the foyer…” Her eyes moved to Maya’s. “I’m sure you know what
I mean, Maya. I don’t want to be explicit.”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
292

Maya was as white as sheet, unable to comprehend just how much pain
Ayra was in. Ayra’s smile became a ghost on her face and she looked away,
her gaze turning unfocused once again.
“You’d think it doesn’t get worse than that but when it finished and they
spoke, it was as though they were strangers I was meeting for the first time
who spoke in a language I couldn’t understand. I couldn’t recognise them
and then they left, going to their home first before going to a second home
in Costa Casa which I had no idea existed.”
Maya’s heart was shattering. “T-t-their home?”
Ayra nodded. “Their home. They’ve been together for thirteen years now, if
my calculations are right, and they have homes. Since Wednesday I’ve
learned that this whole thing has been a lie which was intricately plotted out
with everything taken into consideration, to the extent that people were
hired to play certain roles so everything flowed out perfectly well.”
Maya got even paler. “Innalillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioon.”
“And when I think it can’t get any worse, it does. I’ve been finding out a lot
of things, Maya, and all this time, everything had played out in front of me
but I was too naïve and so, so in love with him that I didn’t see it. They
were so good that even Ibty who is very sceptical when things didn’t add up
couldn’t see it…So here we are, Maya. Here we are.”
There was no stopping Maya’s tears. “Ayra…Oh Subhanallah.”
Ayra turned back to the other woman and that heartbreakingly beautiful
smile of hers appeared while her eyes glazed over with a fresh wave of tears.
“I’ve learned new things about myself too and right now, I’m Ayra who
doesn’t know who she is when everything related to Ibrahim is taken out of
her life.”
The heartbreak and pain came back again; a prickly feeling that moved from
every part of her to the place where her heart was supposed to be. “I’m
Ayra who doesn’t yet know how to stand on her own two feet. I’m Ayra
who loved so much that she couldn’t see things going wrong.” Her voice
broke. “I’m Ayra who doesn’t know what to do or where she’s going to go
from here. I don’t even know what else I want to say anymore, Maya.”
Maya shook her head, crying too. “No, Ayra, no.”
Ayra began to cry. “I don’t know what else to believe, Maya. I don’t know
what to do. I don’t know who to trust anymore, Maya.” She sobbed harder.
“I don’t know anything anymore. I don’t know anything anymore…”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
293

Once again, Maya pushed her chair back and stood. Yet again, she walked
around the table and hugged Ayra. This time though, they cried together,
each one holding the other for help and support. Maya couldn’t help but
kiss Ayra’s covered head. “It’ll be fine, Ayra. In Shaa Allah it’ll be fine. In
Shaa Allah you’ll be fine.”
Ayra couldn’t do anything else but keep crying. In Plum Boulevard, Salama
was on her knees in the yard, planting tomato seeds in the small garden
space Muhsin had created for her. As she covered the seeds with soil, she
found herself wondering if Ayra was okay and she put it at the back of her
mind to call later to check in on her.
Hours later, Ibtihaj sat in the departure terminal of the Raven Isle
International Airport, awaiting her boarding announcement. Although she’d
been stubborn when her parents suggested they accompany her to the
airport, she felt a little lonely and she found herself wishing Ayra was there.
“You look very sad for someone who acted as though she’ll always be fine.”
Ibtihaj’s head whipped to the left and right there, a few feet away was none
other than Ayra. She looked stunning in a floral print maxi dress Ibtihaj
couldn’t remember ever seeing, her face subtly – but beautifully – made up
and a veil wrapped as a simple turban wrapped around her head. Ayra’s eyes
though…They were dim and it made Ibtihaj frown as she stood.
Still smiling, Ayra walked over. “You don’t look happy to see me.”
“Ayra, are you okay?”
“Do I not look okay, Ibty?”
“Your eyes don’t.”
Ayra’s smile widened by the tiniest inch. “I’ve been crying. Cramps want to
kill me.”
Ibtihaj raised a brow. “That’s all?”
Ayra shot her best friend a perfect amused look. “Don’t tell me you’ve
become like those men who say that cramps aren’t so bad. Ibty, you know I
don’t usually have cramps and this one was bad.” She rolled her eyes. “I
shouldn’t even have come since you don’t want to believe me.”
Ibtihaj’s worry melted and she smiled like a spoiled brat. “Are you mad?
You knew you were going to miss me na, that’s why you came.”
Ayra laughed. “You’re mad.”
“You love me anyways.” Ibtihaj looked around. “Did you come alone?
Where’s Oga Fahad?”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
294

Ayra’s smile was as beautiful as it always was. “He had to leave for Costa
Casa not too long ago and I stayed behind to wait for you. I called Aunt
Falilat to find out your terminal gate and she was more than happy to
present it to me.”
Ibtihaj eyed her. “I don’t blame you and my mother. But wait…Why is he
in Costa Casa?”
“You know they’ve been planning to branch out in every state of the
country and something came up with the Costa Casan land so they’re there
to sort it out. He’ll be back tomorrow or next, otherwise he would have
been here with me.”
Ibtihaj’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Are you sure? Are you okay with it?”
Ayra nodded, still smiling. “I am.”
“You’re smiling too much this night sha o.”
Ayra stopped smiling and feigned anger. “I’m going home. Bye.”
The boarding announcement was made just as Ibtihaj grabbed her best
friend’s hand. “Oya, I’m sorry.” She smiled when Ayra faced her once
again. “I just want you to be okay, Ayra. I want you to always be okay.”
“And I’m perfectly okay, Ibty. In Shaa Allah I’ll always be.” Ayra freed her
hand from Ibtihaj’s and moved it along with the other one to Ibtihaj’s
shoulders. “I want you to not worry much about me on this trip and enjoy
it to the fullest. It’s not every day you get free trips like this and if you don’t
tour like you’ve always wanted to, I’m going to be very, very angry with
you.”
Ibtihaj grinned proudly. “See how you’re talking like me. I like this new you
o.”
Ayra laughed. “Ibty, I’m serious! You have worked so beautifully since you
got this job and you deserve this trip so once you have finished with every
official engagement, treat yourself to the best things that Britain has and
enjoy it all to the fullest.” Her eyes then narrowed. “You better bring back
things for me.”
The boarding announcement was made again as Ibtihaj replied. “Of course
na. What do you take me for sef?”
Ayra’s smile returned. “I’m just reminding you.” She then hugged Ibtihaj. “I
love you so, so much, Ibty. Take care of yourself, okay? If you dare replace
me with someone else, I’ll kill you.”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
295

Ibtihaj hugged Ayra back, scoffing. “It’s you I should be telling that. You
that has replaced me with Oga Ibro.”
Ibtihaj would never know that Ayra’s façade faltered in that very moment.
Putting her mask back on, Ayra slapped the other’s back. “I told you to
stop calling him that.
“Abeg, abeg!” Ibtihaj pulled back. “Leave me and what I call him alone.”
She then smiled warmly. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you more. Fall in love with so I can plan your wedding.”
Ibtihaj laughed heartily. “Wahala. Let’s wait and see sha.” Her face fell
when the final boarding announcement was made. She hugged Ayra again.
“I’ll call you when I land.”
“In Shaa Allah.”
“Thank you so much for coming, Ayra. You have no idea how much it
means to me.”
Glad she’d made the spontaneous decision, Ayra tightened her embrace
briefly. “You’re welcome…You should start leaving now. Don’t let them
leave you behind.”
“When they’re not mad. They can’t even try it.”
Five minutes later, Ayra stood alone in the now empty waiting area and she
let her façade slip, suddenly drained. She’d never tell Ibtihaj that she’d been
crying for days and she’d made the decision to come say bye after talking
with Maya and her husband – Yunus – who’d come in to recite the Qur’an
ahead of the Maghrib prayer. She’d never tell Ibtihaj that she’d taken the
first available taxi to Raven Isle, paying via transfer, and she’d only gotten
changed after purchasing the outfit she now wore from one of the duty-free
stores.
She’d never tell Ibtihaj that she showed up just so the latter wouldn’t worry
about anything. Ayra knew one day she’d have to come clean about
everything that was happening but until she was somewhat steady on the
new path she was taking, she was certain she wanted to do it all alone no
matter how painful it would get. As she watched a plane take off through
the glass walls of the airport, Ayra repeated the words Yunus had said.
“It’s up to you to decide what you want to do, Ayra. You’re more than allowed to ask for
a divorce now and leave as it is.” He’d then hesitated before he added “But if
you’d like to do anything before then, such as finding out the truth about anything, then
you have to be mentally, physically, and emotionally strong because it’ll be a lot. You have
to pray to Allah too, so He can ease this all for you as no one else can ease affairs except

LATIFAH EFUA A.
296

Him…We can’t walk the path for you but we can assist however we can. So always
know that the doors of this mosque are open for you and that no matter what, you have a
community of brothers and sisters who would always be ready In Shaa Allah to help
whenever you need it.”
As she watched another plane take off, Ayra told herself she was going to
be fine. No matter how long it took, she told herself, she was going to be
alright.
On the plane that was getting ready for take-off, Ibtihaj buckled her seatbelt
with a pretty smile on her face and contentment in her heart. In Cape
Town, South Africa, Fareeda and Salim boarded the private plane, finally
ready to return home to Aomi. In Fiji, Bella and Ibrahim toured their
rented bungalow while in Costa Casa, the other members of the Hexad
squad laughed and shared stories as they grilled in the gazebo, underneath
the star studded sky.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
297

29
August 25th was a Wednesday and in the early hours of that morning, Bella
and Ibrahim returned from Fiji while the others came back to Aomi from
Costa Casa.
As the chartered vehicle neared Downtown Aomi, Bella sighed deeply.
“Back to our day to day lives and lies.”
Ibrahim, who’d held her hand throughout the ride from Raven Isle to the
capital city, squeezed gently. “We’ll be fine.”
She turned from the tinted window, towards him. “I know. I just really had
fun with you since we left and it’s going to take more than twenty-four
hours for me to get back into the Bella who’s happy for you and Ayra. It’s
getting tiring.”
“We knew what we were signing up for.”
She sighed again. “We did…Well, you have it harder. You have to bounce
out of Serkan mode in less than an hour.” She smiled devilishly. “Sucks to
be you, Serkan.”
“You don’t have to rub salt on my wounds.”
She laughed, the sound blissful to his ears. “You know I love you.” Her
mood dampened as The Oasis came into view. “That reminds me. I should
call our other Serkan to come down for a bit. It’s been a while and I need to
remind Ayra that he’s alive and well before I start getting paranoid each
time she decides to stop by because you’re in.”
“And maybe we can introduce him to Ibty this time. To solidify
everything.”
Bella nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I’ll deal with it later when I
wake up. Expect me up later tonight. Let it not seem like I didn’t miss her.”
“You and I both know you didn’t.”
She smiled easily. “I didn’t. But it’s thrilling, you know? How gullible she is.
How gullible she’s been. She makes it really easy and when we’re all
together, I sometimes wonder how dense she is that she doesn’t notice that
there’s so much going on in front of her. She really loves you.”
Ibrahim’s smile was gone and there was a slight furrow of his brows as he
wondered why there was a very little part of him that felt as though
something was wrong. He shook it off and smiled at Bella. “She really
does.”
“You good?”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
298

“Yep.” He stole a quick kiss. “I’m perfect.”
By the time they got out of the car minutes later, both their masks were
back on. Gone were Serkan and Bella who had a perfect time in Costa Casa
and Fiji. Back in place were Bella and Ibrahim; Co-CEOs of The Hexad
and the best of friends amongst the members of the squad.
The reception staff were more than happy to have them back and they –
Bella and Ibrahim – played their roles well, stating they were glad to be back
too as “work was so stressful” and “there’s really no place like home”. They
took the elevator up, to Bella’s floor, and once the door of their apartment
shut behind them, Ibrahim’s lips were on Bella’s. He kissed her long and
hard, taking everything he could before he had to head up. Understanding
perfectly well, Bella gave him all she had to offer.
When they both pulled apart, Ibrahim focused on catching his breath for a
long minute before he kissed her hair. “Be good.”
“I could say the same thing to you.”
He chuckled. “I’m always good.”
“Get lost.”
Five minutes later, he was in the elevator with a small box he hadn’t
travelled with; just so Ayra didn’t suspect anything. When the carriage
stopped on the tenth floor, he breathed in and out, told himself to get back
into the role of being Ayra’s husband, and then he got out. The floor was
peacefully quiet and it was fine by him. Stopping in front of the door he’d
gotten used to, he inputted the passcode and pushed the door open once it
unlocked.
The lights were on and for a minute, Ibrahim was sure he was in the wrong
house. He had to go back, ensure he was in Unit 10B before stepping in
again, a small frown on his face. In the time he’d been gone, changes had
been made in the foyer and it was destabilising was too small of a word to
describe how it made him feel.
The warm beige walls he’d left were now painted in the petal pink pastel
shade which went well with the wooden slat wall and the floating shelf that
was now dark brown as against the cream shade it had been in the last time
he was in. The mini paintings that had been on the shelf were gone and so
were the books that had been aesthetically placed. Sitting on the shelf was a
wide layered vase with faux short pampas grass. The hanging lights were
gone too, replaced by a mini chandelier that sat in the middle of the ceiling.
On the ground was a small, round furry rug in that same petal pink shade.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
299

Ibrahim turned to the opposite wall that had been bare and took in the
painting that now sat there; Hawaiian Leilanis in their different shades
sitting between white daisies and magnolias. Even he, although he still
comprehended it all, had to admit the painting was a work of art with
colours that came together with the perfect strokes of the artist who’d done
it. On reflex, his line of sight moved to the bottom left corner but he saw
nothing and he checked the entire painting for a signature he didn’t find.
Wondering what on earth was happening, he moved deeper into the house.
If he thought the foyer was a shock, the living room was much worse. The
double height windows now had sheer white curtains that had been drawn
together; every inch of glass covered. The contemporary chandelier was still
the same, hanging down from the ceiling. The L-shaped sectional sofas that
used to be white were now Columbia blue, and the single seater that used to
be blue was now white.
The earth brown seaters were gone, replaced with accent chairs and the side
lamps on the side stools had been replaced with new ones. The rug stayed
the same and so did the coffee tables but the cushions were now white and
black with a touch of blue here and there. The vases on the full length
shelves were still there and between them, the painting that had been put up
before they got married was gone. The TV was now a little higher and right
above it, replacing the painting that had been there, was a connected canvas
painting that pulled him in.
Confused but entranced, Ibrahim walked forward until he was right in front
of the wall, staring at the two canvasses that made one picture while being
placed on the same level.
On the right canvas was him, staring at the left canvas which held Ayra, the
sea in the distance and the sun setting. In the left canvas, Ayra stared
straight ahead, the painting capturing the veil that was wrapped around her
head which had moved because of the breeze. The painting also captured
his ruffling hair. Both canvasses had been placed side by side but there was
a little gap between them that ruined the symmetry; a space that irked him
as he wondered if it had been a mistake on the handymen’s part or if it had
always been meant to be placed that way.
Frowning visibly, he turned and looked around again, wondering what on
earth was going on and then wondering where Ayra was.
Leaving his box there in the living room, Ibrahim went to check out the
kitchen which was still the same except for the fruit basket that now sat on
the middle of the table. The laundry room was untouched too and he
noticed that the laundry baskets were empty. Still frowning, he headed up

LATIFAH EFUA A.
300

and stopped in his tracks once he reached the family lounge. The white
curtains had been replaced with black ones that matched the new black
loveseat and accent chairs which replaced the sectional sofa that had been
there. The coffee table was still there and on the wall that had been left
bare, the three paintings – the big one that had been in the living room and
the two mini ones that had been in the foyer – were hung up; the two mini
paintings on both sides of the big one.
Ibrahim couldn’t help but seek out his painting signatures and it brought
some sense of peace with underlying relief that at least the paintings were
still there, his signatures on them unnoticeable to those who weren’t
familiar with his work.
“What on earth is going on…?”
He went into the room he called her space and everything was the same but
in a different colour scheme; pink, black, and cream replaced with black,
gold, and touches of silver here and there. The bookshelf was no longer as
full as it used to be. Too deep in confusion and a little disbelief, Ibrahim left
the room and stopped in front of Ayra’s door, realising a minute later that
he was actually scared of what he’d find with how much changes had been
made in the little time he’d been gone; changes he never would have seen
coming.
He willed himself to relax before he knocked once on her door, pushing
down on the handle when he was met with silence. The mist of black oud
incense hit his nose almost immediately and it tingled a sense he didn’t
know he ever had. Moving past the momentary bliss, he pushed the door
open wider and stepped into the dimly lit room, his eyes zeroing on Ayra
who was fast asleep in the middle of the bed, her hair spread out on the
pillow with the duvet drawn up to her shoulders.
Reaching for the switch, Ibrahim switched on the main lights and his heart
dropped a bit at how unrecognizable her room was. A space that had
combined beige, brown, gold and green now combined shades of brown,
black, gold, and dove grey. The curved panels of the wall behind her bed
were now all brown and her bedframe that used to be beige was now black.
The ottoman stools were now black too with gold legs and the cactus
loveseat that used to be green was now dove grey, matching the new
curtains. Her night lamps were the same and so was the black and white rug
he’d actually loved. The painting he’d spent hours on; of her covered with a
Leilani in full bloom was still on the wall, and he found himself holding
onto that familiarity for dear life.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
301

His steps light, he walked over to the bed, finally realising her sheets and
her duvet were now pastel teal. As carefully as he could, he sat beside her.
Ayra looked so beautiful in her sleep and it was startling to realise he’d
actually – sincerely – missed her. It was even more startling for him to
finally realise it was the first time he’d travelled that she hadn’t texted him
much; as much as she usually did each time he was away.
His gaze moved from her face to her hair and his breath hitched. Her hair
had to be at least two inches shorter, he was sure of it, and then between
the dark curls were streaks of dark red; streaks that weren’t there before. He
was going to admit it that it looked sinfully good on her.
His gaze moved back to her face and he took it all in, his brows furrowing
as he wondered why she looked the same and different all at once. Apart
from her hair, nothing was different. Her almond brown skin was still
majorly spotless and her lashes were still long, her nose was still a lovely
button and her lips were in their resting heart shape. For a split second, her
lips twitched and he caught a ghost of her dimples before her expression
relaxed again.
Blaming the unfamiliar way he felt on the disorientation that came from
walking into a house that was different from the one he’d walked out of,
Ibrahim got off the bed and headed out, pausing momentarily in front of
her walk-in wardrobe before deciding against it and leaving the room while
trying to shake off the disorientation that bothered him more than it should
have.
His room was the only place in the house, like the kitchen, that wasn’t
touched and for the first time, it felt cold. He loved the familiarity and the
painting of Bella on the wall brought him calm but there was a coldness in
the room that he had difficulty shaking off; as though it’d been closed since
he left which was something he doubted because Ayra always loved coming
into his room, especially when he was away. He knew her that well.
He left the room and went back down, returning minutes later with his box
after taking it all in once again. When the room door was closed behind
him, he walked over to the sitting area and made himself comfortable in
one of the single seaters, his mind reeling as he tried to understand why so
many major changes had been made with no preamble or clue from Ayra.
No matter how hard he thought about it, nothing made sense and when his
head began to throb softly, he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face,
putting it at the back of his head that he had to neaten his stubble once he
got to the bathroom. He sat for a minute longer before he rose to his feet.
His jacket came off and then his shoes did, his socks following right after.

LATIFAH EFUA A.
302

He was removing his turtleneck when the door flung open and he barely
had time to brace himself before Ayra jumped on him.
“Ibrahim, you’re home!”
It was surprising to Ibrahim how naturally he caught her, an arm going
around her middle as she wrapped her legs around his own middle while his
other hand went up to cup the back of her head as she buried her face in
the crook of his neck, laughing heartily the way she always did.
For the first time in a near year, Ayra didn’t scent exclusively like him and
Bella and it took him a whole moment to notice it. She scented like a
garden of flowers in full bloom; soft, feminine, and extremely floral with
undertones he couldn’t recognise. It was too unfamiliar, like the house now
felt, and he found himself pulling back a little so he could look at her.
Bright hazel eyes met his onyx ones and her smile was so bright it went to a
very unfamiliar – yet very little part – of his chest, confusing him even
more.
“You’re home!” Ayra, glad he kept her steady, moved her hands to his face.
Her smile did not shrink neither did it waver. “God, I missed you.” She
hugged him again, giggling. “I missed you so, so much.”
He didn’t hug her back like he usually did, his entire mind an honest mess.
Noticing, Ayra leaned backwards and her smile slowly slid off her face as
she took in his slight frown and the way his brows furrowed.
“Ibrahim,” Her voice was so soft, like always. “Are you okay?”
The question slipped past his lips without second thought. “What on earth
happened here?”
She smiled again then. “Oh!”
She slid down his body until her feet were on the tiled floor and Ibrahim,
once again startled, realised a part of him had missed her doing that too.
“I changed the house!” Ayra said proudly. “I was so bored when you left,
Ibrahim, and Ibty had to go to Cardiff for work a day after you and the
others left so I had to think of ways to keep myself busy and I stumbled
upon this renovation playlist on YouTube. God, Ibrahim, the house was so
beautiful and I wanted to recreate it but I couldn’t just change everything
here because that would have cost a lot of time and a lot of money and
while we have the money, I didn’t want you to come back to a disarrayed
home so I had them revamp some of our furniture pieces and then got
some new ones and also, I had them paint some walls and all of that.”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
303

Her eyes were so bright and her smile was dazzling. “I didn’t want to touch
your room until you got back.” She could barely stand still, bouncing on her
feet. “But I have so many moodboards you have to see, Ibrahim. Pinterest
is such a beautiful place. Working on changing things in a home is so fun
and so beautiful and we should definitely do it again in a few months but
for now…”
She breathed in the needed breath. “Please tell me you like what I did with
the house. I wanted to surprise you and I made sure to factor your likes into
the decision I made.”
The smile that appeared on her face was the bashful one he was so used to
and her cheeks turned rosy; a signature move of hers. “I just really wanted
to surprise you and I also wanted us to have a familiar yet new space. I even
got new paintings for us. Please tell me you like what I did with the house.
If you don’t like it, I think I’ll cry.”
It was the most confused Ibrahim had been in the time he’d known her; his
thoughts and emotions clashing. On one hand, she was the same Ayra he
knew; the same smiles, the same signatory blush, the same deep dimples,
the same look of love and complete adoration…The same everything. On
the other hand, there was something that wasn’t there before; a subtle edge
that seemed like a flickering bulb. One minute it was there, the next minute
it was gone.
His earlier thought came back; she was the same and she was different at
the same time and he couldn’t pinpoint what was different. All he knew,
quite surprised at the realisation, while it was a little frustrating to try to
pinpoint what it was, it was also quite intriguing and there was an unfamiliar
curiosity that slowly bloomed.
Her cheeks got even darker and she shyly tucked a lock of hair behind her
ear. “Ibrahim, you’re staring.” Her hand returned to her side. “Do you like
the house?”
He told himself to breathe and he did just that before smiling back at her;
yet another one of the small smiles he reserved for her. “It threw me off
because I didn’t see it coming.”
She beamed. “That’s the surprise aspect of it! I’m glad I nailed it. But do
you like it?”
He wasn’t sure he did because it erased Bella’s touches in nearly every place,
replacing it with her – Ayra’s – own touch. He knew better than to tell her
that so he nodded twice. “It’ll take some time to get used to but it’s
beautiful, Ayra. Thank you, for wanting to surprise me.”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
304

She brightened even further. “You’re welcome!” She then took his hand
and began pulling him out of the room. “I know you want to bathe and get
some rest but I can’t wait for a moment longer. I’ll be your official tour
guide around the house and I’ll explain everything to you. I thought I was
dreaming, y’know? I felt the bed dip and I opened my eyes a little later,
wondering if someone had actually been in the room with me and then I
sniffed our perfume and I just had to come over to check and you were
really home! It’s the best way to start my day, Ibrahim. You have no idea!”
Ibrahim could only stare at her, surrealness and amazement balling into
one. She led him to the foyer and they stopped right in front of the main
door. She never stopped smiling. “You returned quite early from Costa
Casa though. Like, no one ever returns from Costa Casa until evening
hours.”
“I missed you like crazy.”
She feigned sadness. “Yet you didn’t call or text much.”
“Neither did you.”
She laughed. “I was surprising you, Ibrahim, so I had a very valid reason.
You though…”
“Work was a pain in my neck.” The lies kept spilling easily and for the first
time, it scared him. “Thankfully, we were able to wrap things up. Sorry it
took longer than normal.”
“Oh it’s alright. I missed you but I had time to put things in order. I’m just
glad you’re here now.”
His chest twisted unfamiliarly. He managed a smile. “I’m glad too…Let’s
start the tour?”
“Sure!”
She led him in, her façade slipping each moment he turned away from her,
revealing an Ayra he would never be able to recognise. Ibrahim found
himself listening to her every word while mentally comparing the new look
of their house with the old one. He thought so deeply that he didn’t see the
way her eyes – and expression – turned cold each time he wasn’t looking.
He had no idea that between the light fixtures and in other strategic
locations were mini cameras that captured their every movement; the
footage only accessible by – and to – her. He also had no idea that in the
room he’d called Ayra’s Corner, disguised as Veronica Roth’s Insurgent was a
notepad that had every discovery she’d made so far with red lines that
connected dots alongside questions she still needed answers to. Disguised

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
305

as J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets was her travel guide as
there were answers outside Aomi which she was going to find no matter
what. She only had to sort out a few things first.
All the way in Liverpool, Ibtihaj looked up from her phone when the
elevator came to a stop on what she thought would be a long ride down.
Noting that it had stopped two floors below hers, she turned to the doors
that had gone open and unconsciously, her brow rose. Right outside the
elevator was the same man she’d run into about three times since she
arrived in the city.
He also had a brow raised and quietly, he stepped in, occupying the space
beside her. The carriage doors closed and the ride down resumed. He put
his hands in his pockets, a small smile tugging on his lips as his brow
relaxed. “Are you sure you’re not following me? This should be the fourth
time, yeah?”
Ibtihaj snorted but it wasn’t her usual one. This was playful and she smiled
like him as she turned back to her phone. “God abeg. How will I be
following you bayi?”
He chuckled at that. “I should be one doing the following.” He glanced her
way, smiling a little wider when she held his gaze for a moment. “I hope
you can let me.”
Unused to the way warmth bloomed in her being, Ibtihaj turned away and
cleared her throat, acting as though she wasn’t affected. “Let’s wait and
see.”
He turned back to the carriage doors as the elevator came to a slow stop.
“Before that though…Hello, Ibty.”
She smiled again then, lowering her head just so he didn’t see it. “Hello,
Adil.”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
306

30
September, 2021
The night lamp cast a soft glow on one side of the room and Ibrahim lay on
his back, staring at the ceiling above him but barely seeing it. Physically, he
was there. Mentally, though, he was far, far away; thinking about his wife
the same way he’d been doing in the three weeks he’d been back.
Like every other day, Ibrahim didn’t think he’d ever been this confused and
disturbed. Like always, he didn’t know where to start unravelling everything
from and it bothered him more than he ever expected which was a problem
in itself.
Ayra was a near different woman and he now had a mental list to prove it.
In the first week, he convinced himself that it was all in his head. By the
second week, he had to face the reality that his wife wasn’t the same woman
he’d left behind. While he should have been happy that she was now the
woman he’d always wanted her to be with bits and pieces of the woman
she’d always been, he was honestly disturbed and he found himself longing
for them to fall back to what had been their patterns time and time again.
He wasn’t ready to admit it to anyone – including himself – that the reason
he’d barely wanted to leave the house in the three weeks since his return
was because of Ayra; because he was trying to understand where the
changes were coming from and because he was – shockingly – finding
himself searching for the little moments she already created with him and
the little things she did. Moments she no longer created and things she no
longer did.
She no longer woke him up for prayers with little kisses and giggles. Sure,
she still smiled adorably but her eyes…He’d come to note the slight
coldness they now had and he disliked it so much. After Fajr, she no longer
sat with him in the family lounge to talk about something random or ask if
he was going to work that day. She now simply folded her prayer mat and
left him there, heading to her room to soak in the bathtub and watch the
sunrise; something she said she’d added to her routine when he was away.
Throughout the day, she’d do one thing or the other; staying away from
him rather than being clingy the way she usually was when he stayed home.
She was now part of the sister community of the masjid he’d never step
foot into and if she wasn’t out for one drive or the other, she was locked in
the room he’d given her as her little haven, reading or typing away on her
laptop. During meals, she didn’t speak as much as she used to and more
than once, he’d have to keep the conversation going; a new thing for him.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
307

Then there was the physical aspect. Her hugs weren’t long anymore and her
kisses were now chaste and brief. Nothing more, nothing less. They’d only
slept on the same bed thrice since he’d returned and she’d fallen asleep
halfway into their pillow talks; talks she usually forced herself to stay awake
for because of how much she loved them, especially when he’d been away
on a trip.
Ibtihaj had been quiet too which was a new thing for him as he and the
others had been expecting her to call them out for travelling to Costa Casa
after saying they – the squad – were going to be in town. It was radio
silence on her end and Ayra didn’t say much about her anymore; just that
she – Ibtihaj – was in the UK for a personal trip after the work she’d gone
there for finished. Ayra never mentioned more.
Sighing, Ibrahim rolled over to his side and stared at the crack of the
curtains that enabled him see the clearing grey skies through the full length
window. His thought path then moved to how Ayra still seemed unsatisfied
with the house’s interior. He still wasn’t used to having so much of Bella
taken away and just when he’d try to get used to one thing, Ayra was
replacing it with something else. At the time the first interior had been
completed, they’d been so sure Ayra loved it because although it’d been all
Bella, they had put it in the back of their minds to do something Ayra
wouldn’t dare dream of changing. Now though, Ibrahim wasn’t sure he
even knew what Ayra’s dream home was because the changes she was
making were not it at all.
There was the way she now dressed too. Her outfits were mostly new and
the one time he’d stepped into her closet, he’d barely recognised it. Most of
the clothes he’d gotten for her before the wedding were gone and in their
places were new clothes, mostly dresses and abayas and loose trousers with
matching tops. She now had more jilbabs and two pieces too. Gone were
those her short nightwears. In their place were pyjamas sets that covered
more than they revealed; sets he’d dare call conservative when compared to
what she wore on most days as long as he was home.
Her Tom Fords were now placed in the last drawer of her vanity. He had
not scented it on her since he returned and when he asked why, she said she
didn’t want the other perfumes to just go to waste. As to where her clothes
had gone, she said her style had changed and she’d decided to donate them
to the shelters within and outside the country because they needed them
more than she did.
He didn’t buy it and even he didn’t understand why. Her reasons were
really, really valid but he couldn’t even believe them. However, the Ayra he
married would never lie to him. He knew she’d still not lie to him

LATIFAH EFUA A.
308

but…Everything felt too wrong. Everything. Including the painting in the
living room with the space between both canvasses that made his skin crawl
each time he saw it because a part of him wondered if that was how he and
Ayra now were; two people with a barrier between them.
His phone ringing pulled him out of his head. He rolled over and picked up
the device, accepting the call once he saw the caller ID. He brought the
phone to his ear, sitting up. “Sevgilim, this is –”
“Hello to you too, Ibrahim.” It was Anneth. “Your sweet Sevgilim is not
the one on the phone.”
He raised a brow. “Are you at our home or Bella’s at your place?”
“We’re outside your apartment door and we don’t want to ring the bell so
Ayra doesn’t get here first. We want to be sure you’re well because Serkan
Fahad doesn’t stay home for this long after a trip unless we all have to be
on good behaviour for lil miss Abdulaziz.” She sighed. “Just come down
and open the door. It’s high time we see in person what Ayra did with the
interior.”
He got off the bed and put on his slippers. “I’m on my way.”
“Good!”
The call ended and he lowered the phone. The painting of Bella caught his
eye as he walked out and he stared at it for a moment before leaving the
room. Instead of heading straight down, he walked to Ayra’s room and
hesitated slightly before pushing down the door handle, letting himself in.
The room, like his, was dimly lit by one of her night lamps. She was fast
asleep, warmly covered by her duvet. He stopped by the bed and stared at
her for the longest moment, only forcing himself to look away when the
doorbell rang. With a sigh and hesitation he wasn’t used to, he left her room
and headed down.
The squad all had their brows raised when he opened the door. Tobi spoke
first. “Bro, you look like shit.”
Anneth nodded, her arms folded. “Tell me about it.”
Ibrahim simply stepped aside and they made their way in. Bella was the last
one in and she had a small frown on her face. “Stai bene? (Are you okay?)”
He smiled easily, closing the door. “I will be. You look good.”
She smiled then. “I always do. You look awful. Let’s go down after they
leave so we can get your hair trimmed and your stubble dealt with. Is she
giving you trouble?”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
309

“Nope.”
“Is she in?”
“It’s morning, Bella, on a Saturday so yes, she is in. She’s asleep though,
thankfully.”
Her smile widened. “Perfect.”
Stepping forward, she kissed him and he let her, kissing her back for the
first time since their return. When she pulled back, she used her finger to
wipe away the lipstick on his lips. “You should return to the office, Serkan.
These three weeks have been long and since we don’t have anyone to
appease or be on good behaviour for, we’re clear.”
He nodded although he wondered why she wasn’t bothered by the fact that
there was actually no need to appease Ayra and Ibtihaj the way they usually
did after their trips. “Sure. I’ll be there on Monday.”
She beamed. “Yes! Serkan should be here by next weekend.” She traced a
shape on his shoulder. “He’s coming with Aliana. We’ll introduce her as his
best friend the same way we tell the world you and I are the closest in the
squad.”
He reached up to push her hair away from her face. “And she’s fine with
it?”
“Of course.” Bella then looked around the foyer and her expression shifted
into one of irritation with an undertone of disgust. “God, this is awful.
What was Ayra thinking?”
I wish I could tell you, Ibrahim thought, because I don’t know either. He let her
step away from him to properly look around before she left him there,
heading deeper into the apartment to join the others after saying the
painting was the only thing she didn’t hate; she just hated the fact that there
were Leilanis present in the frame.
Ibrahim stayed in the foyer a minute longer, just taking in the painting for
the thousandth time. He then sighed and joined them in the living room,
watching as they all walked around, each person appalled. Anneth looked
like someone who was afraid of being bitten by an invisible insect as she sat
on one of the accent chairs. Once she was sure the chair won’t bite her, she
made herself more comfortable, speaking as her husband – Nathaniel – sat
beside her.
“Ibrahim, what’s going on? Like, this is so awful and as someone who loves
the colours used, I have to say that I hate it. What was Ayra thinking? What
was the interior company even thinking when they agreed to all this?”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
310

Jalal perched on an armrest. “It’s probably one of those unprofessional
ones.” He then jutted his chin in the direction of the wall with the TV.
“And what’s with the space between the canvasses on that painting?”
Ibrahim took a seat and crossed one leg over the other. “I would reply you
if I know, J. It pinches me too and she said that’s how it’s supposed to be.”
Tobi, who’d gone into the kitchen, stepped out with a bottle of wine and a
glass. “It’s really sad there are no alcoholic stuff here.”
Nathaniel rolled his eyes. “Isn’t it too early for wine?”
Tobi raised a brow. “You wanna go down that road with me, Nate?”
Nathaniel raised his hands in surrender. “Suit yourself, mate.”
“Better.”
Bella made herself comfortable beside Ibrahim. “I hate it. All of it.” She
snuggled into his side once he – out of habit – wrapped an arm around her
shoulders. “I’m so glad she didn’t touch the study or your room. I would
have been really pissed.”
Tobi sipped his wine. “The kitchen’s the same too.”
“So are her bathroom and her walk-in.” Ibrahim stated. “Everything else is
renovated and she’s still not satisfied.”
“Please tell me you’re joking.” Nathaniel said. “She’s not satisfied? This
can’t be anyone’s dream home. It’s definitely not mine.”
“Not mine either.” Anneth added.
“I’d rather live in a pig pen.” Jalal stated. “This is bad and only God knows
what else she wants to add.”
“Is she in?” Tobi asked. “Before we get carried away and say things she isn’t
supposed to hear.”
“She’s asleep.” Ibrahim told them. “And I’m quite sure she’s not waking up
anytime soon.”
Tobi smiled disturbingly. “Rough night and morning?”
Bella’s glare was the most scathing. Ibrahim patted her arm, making her
relax. “It was a nice night and morning, Tobi.” It was a lie but he wasn’t
going to tell them he barely slept because of how busy his mind was. “We
slept in our sides of the house, thank you very much.”
“But what’s going on?” Anneth asked. “You seem troubled and you’ve
been weird these three weeks. What’s going on?”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
311

They all turned to him – including Bella. Sighing defeatedly, Ibrahim came
clean. “Ayra’s acting weird and it’s been getting to me.”
Jalal raised a brow. “Weird?”
Tobi made himself more comfortable in the single seater. “This is the kind
of stuff I like.” He topped his wine. “Oya, hit us with it.”
Ibrahim let a moment pass. “She’s acting the same, yeah, but at the same
time she’s different.” He continued when they all opened their mouths. “I’ll
explain so you all should shut up.”
They did exactly that.
“She’s not as clingy as she is usually supposed to be. She doesn’t talk so
much anymore. She no longer annoyingly comes to fool around while I’m
working or if I’m just simply getting something done in study. She’s
changed perfumes. She now has friends from the community at this nearby
mosque; people I know nothing of. She’s changed her fashion style and she
doesn’t even talk much about Ibty anymore. She spends a lot of time in that
room I made to keep her away from me and we all know how she’s never
really used it because she likes being where I am but now she’s in there for
hours. If she’s not reading a book, she working away on her laptop and I
have no idea what she’s doing. All of it is weird and it feels wrong and it’s
kept me wondering what’s going on.”
Brief silence followed as they all took in what he’d said. Nathaniel then
folded his arms, leaning back in the chair he occupied. “Isn’t that what we
wanted though?”
Ibrahim was taken aback by the unexpected question. His brows furrowed.
“What?”
“Isn’t that what we wanted though?” Nathaniel repeated. “We wanted
someone to be a cover for you and Bella; someone to get your parents off
your back. She’s been clingy all along and you’ve complained about it
because you have to play the role of the nice husband and it kept you away
from Bella. Now she’s allowing you breathe and you have time to do your
own stuff so…Isn’t this what we wanted? You have the woman the media
and everyone else can talk to because you two are publicly married and that
gives you every opportunity you need to focus on us, on work, and
especially on Bella. It works perfectly so isn’t this what we’ve wanted?”
He shrugged. “I don’t think it’s a big deal. Sure, it took longer than I would
have liked for us to get this point where we don’t have to worry about
appeasing anyone but we have gotten here and that’s the important part. I
don’t think there’s anything to be worried about, Ibrahim. We planned this

LATIFAH EFUA A.
312

out perfectly well and we know better than to not keep looking back at
those plans to ensure we left nothing behind.”
Ibrahim could only stare while he felt it even more that there was a reason
to be worried; that something was wrong.
“Nate’s right.” Tobi said, getting Ibrahim to look at him. “This is what we
wanted and we should be happy that things are working out.” He looked
around. “We just need to get her to take things back to the way they were
around here and we’ll be good.”
He turned back to Ibrahim and smiled. “I think the reason why things seem
weird is because you’ve gotten used to all of her in the year we’ve had so it
may be a little destabilising to get used to this change.”
Little, Ibrahim wanted to say, was the understatement of the century.
“Exactly.” Anneth agreed before turning to Ibrahim. “Let’s be happy that
she’s finding things to keep herself busy and let’s focus on ourselves the
way we’ve always wanted to. Ibty’s a working woman now so she has her
own stuff to deal with.” She rolled her eyes. “I won’t be surprised if Ayra’s
with the people from the mosque because her darling best friend isn’t
around twenty-four-seven anymore.” She wiped away a fake tear. “Poor
Leilani.”
They laughed, except Ibrahim who simply smiled, discomfort making itself
quite comfortable within him.
Bella looked at him, her smile dazzling. “You get to be home more now.”
Her smile widened when he smiled back. “That’s the best part. It’s also
good she’s never come over to the office. I doubt she’d going to start now.”
“The security team already know what to do. The secretaries do too since
she’s able to text yours, Ibrahim.” Jalal said with a shrug. “Once they alert
us that she’s in the premises, we can always start a meeting.” He smiled
widely. “That’s the best thing about owning a company as a team and being
the best friends too. Anything’s possible.”
He clapped hands with Tobi who said “Word, bro!”
“I think you and Bella should consider moving.” Anneth suggested. “After
all, this was a temporary arrangement.”
Bella pouted. “Why do we have to move?”
Anneth raised a brow. “So you wanna stay here and have Ayra coming
down when you are Ibrahim are getting hot and dirty? Just because that
hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen. You two need a

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
313

house where you can do everything you want without anyone watching or
coming to disturb. Lots of things to try and lots of corners to baptise.”
Tobi feigned a cough. “Some of us are trying to stay celibate for more than
a week.”
That made Ibrahim snort. “As if that’s possible.”
“Fuck you, Serkan.”
Bella threw a cushion at Tobi, purposely missing him so his wine didn’t
spill. “No one fucks him but me.” She then turned back to Ibrahim. “She
has a point though. I do love our home now but it’s time we got a house.
We’ll have fun.”
Ibrahim nodded, not completely into the idea. “Let’s talk about it another
day.”
“Sure.”
“Are your parents finally back?” Jalal asked. “They’ve been in Cape Town
since July.”
“They’re back.” Ibrahim replied. “And before y’all ask, no, they’ve not
reached out to me or Ayra yet. You know how things get once they travel
and get back.”
Anneth rolled her eyes. “Renovations and then intense cleaning. That
mansion gives me the creeps.”
“Good thing we hardly go there.” Nathaniel said, smiling when she nodded.
He then turned to Ibrahim. “Anyways, there’s nothing to worry about,
Ibrahim. All is well and our other Serkan’s flying in next week so Ayra and
Ibtihaj can meet him. Is Ibty even around?”
Ibrahim shook his head. “Not yet.”
“Hopefully she’s back by then and then we’ll further concrete everything so
it would all fall into place. Don’t beat yourself up too much. The important
thing is that you get to spend time with Bella the way you’ve always wanted
to so do that. You’ll no longer have to deal with a clingy woman all the time
and you won’t have to think about Bella when you have to sleep with her.”
It was chillingly scary for Ibrahim to realise he’d stopped doing that for an
actual long time; long before they – he and Ayra – had to leave for
Santorini. He knew better than to say that though as Nathaniel continued.
“Every piece has fallen into place and we’re going to revel in it.”
Anneth flipped her twists. “Yeah baby! We celebrate from here on.”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
314

Jalal winked at her while Bella laughed. “That’s how we do it, baby.”
Tobi raised his near empty glass of wine. “To more good times and to
Serkan and Sevgilim. To more things falling into even better places too.”
They all – except Ibrahim – raised their hypothetical wine glasses, cheering.
Bella then looked at her lover, her entire being radiant. Ibrahim found
himself forcing on what he hoped was a sincere smile. She lit up even
further. “I love you, Serkan.”
A heavy weight pressed down on his chest. “I love you too.”
Above them, in the light holders of the chandeliers, the cameras captured
everything. Upstairs, Ayra stood with her back against the wall by the stairs,
every word they’d said engraved in memory and caught on footage. In her
hand, her phone vibrated and she turned it over to look at the new message
that had come in.
Ibty: I’m on the plane and we’ll be taking off soon. Adil’s staying back
for a little longer before he comes down to Aomi. I promised to tell
you all about him once I return and you can be rest assured I won’t
have go back on that. Then, Madam, you and I have our own pending
discussion. I’ll see you soon, In Shaa Allah!
Listening to everyone cheering except the man she’d loved most of her life,
Ayra took a minute to go over all they’d said and then think about all the
plans she had made; plans that had some standstills she was still trying to
work around independently but to little avail.
Making a decision, she exhaled quietly and then typed out her reply, her
fingers flying over her screen. Once she finished typing, she clicked on
send.
Ayra: Be quick, Ibty! I want to hear all about Adil and know whether
or not we need to start planning a wedding. And yes, madam, we’ll
have our pending discussion because you’ve refused to believe I’ve
been fine all this time.
There’s a lot I want to tell you, Ibty, and I hope doing so helps me
clear some blockades I’m having in getting some information for this
new thing I’m working on. And I hope your company gives discounts
because I’m about to milk you dry.
Get here safely first. In Shaa Allah, I’ll be there once you get home. I
love you, Ibty. In Shaa Allah I always will.
Not checking whether or not the message delivered, Ayra tapped into the
camera feed and ignored everyone else, focusing on Ibrahim who seemed
uncomfortable although he hid it well. She knew he’d been thinking since

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
315

he returned and sincerely, acting like her old self had been draining which
made her continuously wonder how they’d done it for so long.
She couldn’t push him away for much longer, she knew that, if she didn’t
want him trying to pry deeper than he already was but at the same time,
there was no way she’d want to go close to him now; not after all she’d
heard, especially the part of him thinking about Bella each time they were
intimate. She wasn’t going back from that.
Back downstairs, Ibrahim sat with a smile plastered on his face while the
weight in his chest pressed down deeper; to the point of near pain.

LATIFAH EFUA A.
316

31
When the clock hands moved from 5:59PM to 6:00PM, Ayra smiled
humourlessly. Feeling disappointed but not surprised, she pushed herself
off the loveseat in the family lounge and looked away from the paintings on
the wall; paintings that reminded her of just how much of a pathological liar
her husband was.
She went straight to her room and picked up the jersey veil she’d left lying
on the armrest of her loveseat. Her hands moved naturally, from years of
doing the same routine over and over, and she draped the veil over her cap-
covered head, throwing the longer end over her left shoulder and leaving
the shorter end to fall forward, over her chest.
She then looked down at her outfit and thought about how differently she
would have felt had everything not become the way it was. It was the first
time in a long time that she was dressed exactly like Ibrahim; a thick sand
brown long-sleeved turtleneck as the weather was colder, cream coloured
wide legged trousers, and a matching cream coat that she was yet to wear.
Her veil was black to match the boots she’d already dropped down in the
foyer, right beside the small box she’d packed for the indefinite time she’d
planned to stay at Haven Estate.
If things weren’t as they were, she would have been happy – ecstatic even –
that they were going to be matching. However, in that moment, all she felt
was the same coldness that had been eating at her heart – what was left of it
– little by little. There was no happiness and if it weren’t for the fact that
she needed the comfort the outfit provided as her period had arrived earlier
than planned, she would have dumped it for something else.
She made a stop in the walk-in wardrobe simply to check her reflection.
Just like every other time the house was empty, her defences were down
and the woman who stared back at her was the Ayra she was still coming to
terms with; the Ayra who was now starting to stand on her own although
she did so wobbly, the Ayra that had more of rage on the days she didn’t
feel numb as she wondered just how much audacity Ibrahim and the Hexad
squad had, the Ayra who still felt hurt when she thought about little things
that used to matter, the Ayra that still had a part that thrived on fear
concerning what she was yet to uncover, the Ayra that the masjid
community now loved…All of it was in the woman who stared back at her
through the mirror.
Exhaling, she turned away and spritzed a new perfume she’d gotten before
she switched off the lights and left the walk-in before leaving the room as a
whole. She went to Ibrahim’s room, knowing better than to spend more
than a minute in there. If she did, her rage would return and the last time

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
317

it’d hit her with an intensity that threw out all sense of reasoning, she’d
renovated the house just so she could derive deliciously petty happiness
from destroying everything Bella did. The apartment’s new interior was
nowhere near the dream home she’d wanted but knowing that it affected
them all, especially Ibrahim made her very, very happy.
The fact that his room was still everything Bella wanted annoyed her a lot
but she had better things to do. She was going to ruin his room, that much
was certain, but until she found it in herself to do so, she was going to have
to push down the rage that came each time she stepped into his space.
The keys to the Telluride were on the top of the table in his sitting area and
Ayra easily picked it up, leaving as soon as she’d done so. She’d originally
planned to get a Ryde but seeing how he’d decided to stay out for hours
after leaving with the squad without his usual lies or texts, she decided it
wouldn’t hurt to take the car. She deserved it.
She switched off each light as she walked, heading down with no rush. The
painting in the living room held her attention for a near minute and she put
it at the back of her mind to get the handymen to move it a little further
apart so the space between both canvasses became wider. She needed it to
disturb Ibrahim even more as that was the least thing he could think about
after all the lies he’d told and the lies he was still telling.
She put on her coat in the foyer and proceeded to put on her boots. She’d
barely pulled out the box handle when the passcode was inputted and the
door went open to reveal Ibrahim who’d been taking his coat off.
For Ibrahim, coming home to meet Ayra dressed exactly like him made his
stomach dip unfamiliarly. It was humbling to realise he couldn’t remember
the last time such coincidences had happened. It was even scarier to realise
he didn’t hate this particular coincidence the way he’d hated other
coincidences in the past.
He stopped removing his coat and let his hands drop, watching with that
same heaviness in his chest as Ayra’s expression morphed into a calm,
neutral one. She then gave him a small smile but it didn’t reach her eyes and
it felt like a soft punch in his gut.
It was then he noticed the box beside her and his heart dropped. What felt
like fear clawed at his chest and he brought his now slightly widened eyes
back to hers. “Ayra, where are you –”
“Ibtys called like thirty minutes ago. She’d landed in Raven Isle and she was
about to start heading home to Plum Boulevard. I’m going to wait for her
there. I promised I’d do so.”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
318

The clawing in his chest wouldn’t stop. “And the box?”
She half-shrugged. “I’m sleeping over.”
“That’s too big of a box for just one night, Ayra.”
“I’ll be staying for some time too.” Her smile widened and it seemed so
much like the old her. “I haven’t seen Ibty since August, Ibrahim, so you
can understand why I want to stay for some time, right? There’s so much to
do, so much to catch up on. Besides, you’ll be busy with work so…”
The weight in his chest? It pressed down harder and he didn’t like it one bit.
He also couldn’t understand what it meant; all he knew was that it had to
do with her and it wasn’t going away, not even when he left earlier with the
squad. They’d gone down to his and Bella’s place and it had taken so much
to act as though he was really into what was being said when in reality he’d
been going over the mental list of what was different with Ayra and what
wasn’t. When Bella had asked him to stay the night, he’d told her he’d do so
another day and now, Ayra was leaving for Ibty’s. He realised in that
moment that he didn’t like that she was going to Ibty’s but he didn’t know
how to say it. He wasn’t sure how he’d say it even if he wanted to.
“How long are you staying there?” He asked when his mouth finally moved.
Ayra focused on straightening her box handle, not liking how the mix of
emotions a part of her felt with the way he looked at her; a look she knew
better than to fall for as it could turn out to be a lie, just like everything else.
“I don’t know.” She told him sincerely.
Once her emotions were under lock and key, she turned back to him and
smiled, internally getting drained like always when she had to act in front of
him. She wondered – yet again – how they did it for so long; pretending to
be people they weren’t until she peeped behind their masks, unable to
recognise the faces she saw.
Ibrahim felt his chest squeeze but he acted as though all was fine; as though
it didn’t feel like he was beginning to sink when he asked “Are you
driving?”
She nodded. “Yep.” She raised the keys in her other hand. “I’m taking the
Telluride. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Can I drive you?” The clawing in his chest worsened as he watched
emotions clash against each other, her eyes a mirror to a part of her he
wasn’t sure he knew although he’d been previously so sure he knew her so
well. “Please.”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
319

She opened her mouth to say no but he beat her to it. “I need to see Ibty
too and I haven’t seen your parents in a while so…Let me drive you,
please.”
She stared at him for a moment before she sighed, not ready to argue with
him if she said no and he had more ways to get her to say yes. Tightening
her hold on the box handle, she turned away and held out the keys. “Fine.”
The relief felt like a wave pulling him back to shore and Ibrahim smiled – a
small one – before taking the keys from her. “Let’s go?”
“Sure.”
She didn’t let him take the box and while it made him feel what he wasn’t
used to, he let it be. The elevator ride down was unusually quiet and he
couldn’t think about anything to get her talking. It made the weight in his
chest press down even further. When the carriage stopped, she got out first
and she stayed in front of him the entire walk to the car. Once the doors
were unlocked, she put the box in the backseat before she got into the front
passenger seat while he got behind the wheel.
For a minute, none of them moved or said anything. Sighing, Ibrahim
turned his head to look at her. “Are we okay, Ayra?”
She turned her head his way, her brows furrowed slightly. “Are we not
okay?”
“I could ask you that. Things between us have been…off. We don’t talk like
we used to, we don’t hang out as much as we used to, we don’t do most of
what we used to. You’re quieter too. You’re spending more time in your
haven and…” He blew out a breath. “I’ve been going crazy thinking about
all of it. You didn’t even tell me Ibty was coming back and that’s never
happened before. You used to tell me everything, Ayra, and now you seem
like someone else and it’s driving me nuts trying to understand what’s going
on.”
Ayra’s hands were loose fists on her laps and it took every ounce of self-
restraint for her to not ask ‘Me telling you everything was the problem, wasn’t it?’.
Breathing in and out as quietly as she could, she spoke “There’s nothing
going on.”
“Do your really expect me to believe that? The Ayra I’ve known for a long
time and the Ayra with me right now seem like two different people.”
“We’ve been married for a near year, Ibrahim, and we got engaged even
longer than that. In every relationship, there are transition stages and I’m
finding a new side of myself that I’m trying to understand. There’s nothing

LATIFAH EFUA A.
320

going on. I’m just trying to understand this transitioning stage of mine,
that’s all.”
He had gone back to feeling as though he was drowning as he stared back
at her, his emotions too much to handle in that moment. He told himself
she’d never lied to him before and that she had no reason to do so now,
even when he hadn’t been the most honest person to her; something she
didn’t need to ever find out.
In some way, she transitioning made some sense and it could explain the
changes he’d noticed but still…There was a part of him that wasn’t buying
it. She was doing a complete one-eighty and he couldn’t wrap his head
around every part of it.
Her hand on his snapped him out of his head and he looked form her
smiling face down to their hands; hers smaller and a near shade darker than
his. Her hand was warm and he felt it all the way in his chest, something
that had never really happened before. The longer he stared, the more he
wondered if her nails had always been so beautiful.
“Nothing’s going on, Ibrahim.” She said calmly. “I’m just transitioning and
I’m sorry it’s affected you this much.”
He brought his line of sight back to her face, exhaling. “It’s fine. I’m just
glad we’ve had this conversation. It was driving me nuts.”
The playful smile he’d learned to associate with her appeared on her face
and it was one of the few normalcies he’d seen in the near month he’d been
home since his trip to Costa Casa and Fiji. She pulled her hand back, saying
“We can’t have you going nuts, Engineer Fahad. An entire company
depends on you.”
Pushing down the sadness he felt at the loss of contact, he brought the
engine to life. “Just the company?”
“And the squad. They depend on you too.”
His hands on the steering wheel, he looked her way. “And you?”
She held his gaze for a moment before she turned away, putting on her
seatbelt while ensuring the lock on her emotions stayed in place just so she
didn’t commit bloody murder. “I’ve always depended on you, Ibrahim.”
Much to my detriment, she added in her head. “I’ve always done that so…”
He stared at her for a few heartbeats, knowing that was not the answer he
wanted but an answer he wasn’t sure he was ready to dissect. Sighing
silently, he put the car in drive and drove them out of the parking lot.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
321

She turned her head to look out of the window and the sight of the masjid
that had become a second home made her smile sincerely as they drove past
it. Ibrahim, who’d noticed her smile, turned on the vehicle’s media player
and the first song that played was Hamilton’s First Burn.
Unable to help himself, he reached over and took her hand in his. It took
everything in Ayra to not flinch. She continued staring out of the window
and glad she wasn’t pulling back, Ibrahim set their hands on the console
between the seats and drove easily with his other hand.
The drive was majorly quiet save for the songs that played and when they
got to Haven Estate, he drove them to her parents’ first. Salama and
Muhsin were over the moon at the impromptu visit. Not wanting to
dampen their spirits, Ayra delivered her best performance yet; acting so
beautifully that she even scared herself.
Salama felt as though something was wrong but she couldn’t put a finger on
what it was so she pushed it away, asking how the renovation had gone and
how both Ibrahim and Ayra were.
“You’re even busier than the President these days, Ibrahim.” Muhsin joked.
“It’s been long since we last saw or heard from you.”
Ibrahim laughed, still keeping Ayra’s hand in his. “I’ll rectify that In Shaa
Allah. I’m freer now that we’ve gotten started on reforming the company.
So while I’ll get more time to spend with Ayra, I’ll make sure I spend more
time here too.”
Salama’s smile was beautiful. “We’ll look forward to it.”
Sincerely, Ibrahim found himself saying “I look forward to it too.”
All Ayra wanted to do then was pull her hand back from his and slap him
to oblivion.
By the time they got to the Adeola home, Ibtihaj had arrived and she ran
out of the front door, screaming without a care in the world. She threw
herself on her best friend and Ayra hugged the other woman as though her
life depended on it, realising just how much she’d actually missed – and
how much she actually needed – Ibtihaj.
Ibtihaj laughed, patting Ayra’s back. “I know you missed me but éjor, no kill
me. Na me be my family last born.”
Laughing through the tears that surfaced, Ayra pulled back. “You never
change.”
Ibtihaj’s grin was blinding. “I can never do so.”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
322

Ibrahim cleared his throat then. Her grin falling off her face, Ibtihaj turned
his way and eyed him from head to toe. Not so fazed, Ibrahim smiled at
her. “Hello, Ibty.”
“Hello to you, Oga Ibro. The only reason I’m not asking you to get out yet
is because of my friend here. Thank you for bringing her safely even though
I know she was more than capable of driving herself here.”
Ibrahim put his hands in the pockets of his coat. “I know she is. I just
didn’t want her to come alone. Besides, I haven’t seen you in a while.
You’re still a little cold towards me.”
She rolled her eyes. “God abeg. Oya, be going.” She turned to Ayra and her
smile reappeared. “You came with a bag shebi? You’re not going home this
night and e no concern me whether or not you and Ibro are doing couple
outfits. I did not send the two of you message.”
Both Ibrahim and Ayra ended up laughing and while the harmony of it sent
a warm arrow to Ibrahim’s heart, it made Ayra’s chest squeeze and her
smile wavered which did not go past Ibtihaj’s sight. Ibtihaj frowned,
wondering what was going on.
Ibrahim was the one who got Ayra’s box from the car and he ended up
going in with both women so he could say hi to Ibtihaj’s parents who were
leaving for Raven Isle with the chartered vehicle Ibtihaj had come with.
They – Falilat and Al-Amin – had a wedding in Lagos which was to last the
entire new week. Ayra couldn’t believe just how grateful she was, knowing
she and Ibtihaj were going to be the only ones in the house.
Ibrahim stayed until Falilat and Al-Amin were gone. When Ibtihaj took
Ayra’s box in, Ibrahim faced his wife, quite sure he didn’t want to leave
although he knew he couldn’t stay. Ayra, who’d discarded her coat so
Ibtihaj could take it up, faced him. Her act was starting to crumble and she
just needed him gone.
Ibrahim put his hands in his pockets, lamely asking “You two would be
good, right?”
She nearly laughed as she folded her arms. “Are we ever not good?”
That got a small smile out of him. “I didn’t know what else to ask…” He
sighed, taking a small step forward. “If you need anything, call me.”
All she could wonder as she stared at him was if he was only saying that so
it could seem as though he cared; as though he actually loved her and he
was going to miss her. For all she knew, it could be just another lie in the
mighty web he’d built with the people he called his best friends.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
323

Knowing better than to not act for a little longer even though she was really
tired of it all, she nodded, smiling at him. “Sure, Ibrahim. I’ll call you should
I need anything.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
They stayed there, no one moving even by the tiniest inch. With a sigh,
Ibrahim got his hands out of his pocket and closed the space between
them. One arm going around her waist and the other hand cupping the
back of her head, he brought his lips down on hers; kissing her softly and
gently, in a way he’d never done.
Ayra’s vision blurred as the tears welled up in her eyes again and her body,
not used to such gentleness, treacherously gave in bit in bit. She kissed him
back, her body and mind revelling in how softly he kissed and held her, as
though he was scared she’d break with the tiniest pressure. Glad she wasn’t
pushing him back, Ibrahim pulled her closer and kissed her deeper, loving
how so close to insanity he felt pushed towards when her hands moved
from his sides to his hair, her fingers weaving through his curls.
The memory of him kissing Bella and bringing her to a climax in their foyer
back in August was like a cold slap on Ayra’s face and she pulled back,
abruptly ending the kiss and surprising Ibrahim. Reality caught up with her
and she looked away from him which made him frown.
“Ayra?”
She tried to pull away from him but he didn’t let her. He tried to meet her
eyes but she wouldn’t let him. His frown deepened. “Ayra, what’s –”
She said the first lie that came to mind, crumbling to pieces internally. “I’m
on my period and we’re not home…”
“Oh.”
She finally raised her head and her eyes shone with the tears she was barely
holding back. “You should go, Ibrahim.”
He nodded, a slight rosiness on his cheeks. He let her go and rubbed the
back of his neck. “I should…I’m sorry.”
She needed him out, as fast as possible. “It’s fine, Ibrahim.”
Thankfully, Ibtihaj came down then, clapping her hands. “Oya, oya, Oga
Fahad, come and be going…Ayra, what’s –”
Ayra shook her head, smiling insincerely. “It’s nothing.”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
324

That was all it took for Ibtihaj to know she had to push Ibrahim out of the
house. She told him not to call them until it was extremely important before
slamming the door shut in his face, leaving him on the front porch
wondering why everything felt wrong.
Inside the house, Ayra’s knees gave way and she fell to the ground. Bringing
her hands to her mouth, she broke the same way she’d done on the day
she’d discovered that everything was nothing but a lie; a perfect painting
that was now ripping to shreds.
Her chest squeezing painfully, Ibtihaj knelt in front of her best friend and
pulled Ayra into her embrace, allowing the latter cry against her chest, her
frame wrecked by her sobs.
“Oh, Ayra.” Ibtihaj blinked back her own tears. “I’m so sorry.”
Outside, Ibrahim stopped by the car and turned around to look at the
Adeola home, wondering if Ayra was really going to be fine. In the area
between Downtown Aomi and Eastside, Anneth pulled hers and
Nathaniel’s front door open, smiling at Jalal and Tobi who raised the beer
packs in their hands with grins on their faces.
In Downtown Aomi, Bella sat in the living room of hers and Ibrahim’s
apartment, talking to Serkan Yilmaz and his wife, Aliana, over the phone
while internally asking herself whether or not Ibrahim was coming back
home.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
325

32
It took half an hour after Ibrahim left for Ayra to pull away from Ibtihaj
and say she wanted a bath. Although she wanted them to get straight into
whatever it was that had happened, Ibtihaj couldn’t bring herself to say no;
not after Ayra had cried in a way she – Ibtihaj – had never witnessed
before, even when Ibrahim didn’t show up for Eid or for their graduation.
She held Ayra’s hand the entire walk up to her room and she only let go
when she had to step into the bathroom, Ayra’s sniffles haunting her in the
tiled space. She got one of the bath bombs in the basket on the vanity and
put it in the tub before filling it with water that was warmer than she’d like
on a normal day; water that would be warm enough for Ayra.
Ayra, who’d gotten out of her clothes and into the bathrobe she’d brought
along with her, sniffled once again as she stepped into the bathroom. She
managed a small smile. “Thank you, Ibty.”
Ibtihaj’s chest squeezed painfully but she managed to smile back. “Come
off it abeg. This is nothing.” She turned off the tap. “You’ll be okay alone
in here?”
Ayra nodded. “I will be.”
“Alright then. I’m right outside if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Ibty.”
“You’re always welcome.”
When she stepped out of the bathroom, Ibtihaj let her mind finally run wild
and she came up with every unfortunate situation. She wondered if Ibrahim
and the others had gone back to their old ways of leaving for a long time
while Ayra stayed alone or if they’d done something as bad as uttering the
worst statements.
She went as far as wondering whether or not Ibrahim had done something
as bad as hitting Ayra. She told herself that if that was what had happened,
she’d waste no time in killing him and feeding him to the wild animals in
the zoos and resorts all around the country once she was done roasting his
remains.
To keep herself busy, Ibtihaj got out pyjama sets for the both of them and
then proceeded to put every single thing that was out of place back into
their respective spots. By the time Ayra stepped out of the bathroom, the
room was clean but Ibtihaj’s mind was still spiralling.
No words were shared as she picked her own towel and headed into the
bathroom. The only thing she was grateful for was that Ayra looked a bit

LATIFAH EFUA A.
326

better after the bath although her face still stayed a little puffy. Ibtihaj had
her bath in record time and by the time she got out, Ayra was dressed and
she had a small smile on her face.
“Shey we can start talking now?”
Ayra’s smile widened by an inch. “Tell me about Adil first.”
It took everything in Ibtihaj not to groan. “Ayra.”
“Please, Ibty. Tell me about Adil first and I promise, I’ll tell you everything
I haven’t told you since the day you left.”
“Aunty, if I beat you!”
“Ibty, please.”
Ibtihaj’s chest squeezed again and she knew deep, deep inside that there
was no way she would say no. Pushing every negative thought aside, she
focused on the man who’d recently become part of her life and it was easy
– something that was still scary for her – for heat to rush to her cheeks.
Wanting to hide it, she moved in the direction of the wardrobe.
“Omo, where do you even want me to start from?”
Ayra loved it so much that for the first time in a while she could focus on
something that wasn’t the nightmare her life had become. Her eyes widened
slightly and she sat on the bed. “Ibty, are you blushing?”
Ibtihaj, who refused to turn around from her skin products, blushed deeper.
“Shut up!”
“Oh my days, Ibty!”
“Guy, stop na.”
Ayra laughed and the sincerity of it made her chest ache as it had been so
long. “Ibty, you said the day a man would make you blush like me is the day
the world would run mad. I guess that day has come.”
Resigned to her fate, Ibtihaj turned around and began applying lotion to her
arms. Her smile was small but lovely and for a moment, Ayra saw herself in
her friend as that was the same expression she’d always had when she
thought about Ibrahim or when she spoke about him, even long before
he’d reached out with a marriage proposal.
Shaking her head slightly to push away the thoughts, she focused on Ibtihaj
who’d started talking, moving from her arms to her legs and ensuring every
inch of skin was generously covered with lotion.

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
327

“His name is Adil Bello and he’s half Atlantican-half Palestinian. His mum
is Palestinian while his dad is Atlantican from Nohea, just like your family.”
She smiled at Ayra who was already smiling back and then she turned back
to the dresser, putting the lotion’s cap in place before picking her powder.
“He’s into graphic design but he’s actually a Computer Engineer who’s
completing his PhD there in Liverpool. He plans to return to Atlantica
once he finishes early next year In Shaa Allah. He said they’re a lot of his
family members there in the UK who’d be returning from the end of this
year. According to him, they’ve stayed away from home for too long so…”
The warmth she felt as she listened was yet another thing that caused Ayra’s
heart to ache and she chose to focus on the good, pretending that her own
life didn’t exist; at least until Ibtihaj was done with her own story. Letting
the warmth bloom within her, Ayra folded her legs and ensured she was
comfortable. “How did you two meet?”
Ibtihaj put the powder back down and then moved to put on her pyjama
set. Her smile was even more beautiful. “It was very funny sha.”
“I’m all ears, Ibty. Share the details!”
Ibtihaj laughed. “I bumped into him at this coffee shop and I spilled his
coffee. The thing was even doing me like dream because all those things
only happen in films na.” She rolled her eyes when Ayra laughed. “Get out
abeg. Sha, his coffee spilled and I offered to get him another one as per the
big woman I am.”
“You’re not okay.”
Ibtihaj grinned. “You should know that by now na. Sha, I wanted to get
him another one as per the big woman that I am but he insisted on getting
another one for himself by himself and then he went ahead to pay for mine
too even though I didn’t ask him.”
Ayra’s eyes were wide with amazement. “Are you serious?”
Ibtihaj nodded, briefly returning to the bathroom to hang up her towel and
Ayra’s bathrobe. She replied when she returned. “I am. I got to know his
name was Adil then and he got to know my name was Ibty because you
know they ask for our names to put on our orders.”
Ayra nodded. “Yeah.”
Ibtihaj walked over and sat beside her. “This whole encounter was like
dream o but I told him thank you and I didn’t think I would ever see him
again but the very next day, I went to get croissants from this bakery and I

LATIFAH EFUA A.
328

ran into him and this yeye man just had to look my way before I could look
away.”
Ayra smiled teasingly. “You’re the type of person to run away though.”
“Thank you o! I’m not that kind of person but for some reason, this man
was making me want to run away.” She hissed but there was no spite to it.
“He paid for my croissants o and when I told him that I could pay for it
myself, he was like ‘I know you can. I just don’t want you to’. I will lower
my pride and tell you that it was then I knew I was in trouble and you had
to see me praying to not run into this man again. Ayra, if you see me
begging God.”
Ayra so badly wanted to laugh. “That prayer wasn’t answered, right?”
“Guy! I met him in a bookstore and then I met him in my hotel elevator.
He said he was there to see his cousin, Ayman, abi na wetin be his name?”
Ibtihaj shook her head. “We even spoke about what we were doing in the
hotel when we got down. When he entered the elevator, he asked if I was
following him and you had to see me trying not to smile, Ayra. God
abeg…”
She sighed heavily. “Sha, he was able to get me to have lunch with him and
let’s just say throughout the time I spent touring, he made time to come
around to be with me.”
“So you’re dating him?”
“Nah, I’m dragging class small.”
“Ibty!”
Ibtihaj smiled smugly. “He’s up to the task, I know so…Also, I want him to
finish his degree first and then return to Atlantica before I can think of
committing. I don’t want to rush into this but he’s a good person, Ayra, and
yes I like him a lot. You can tease me about it later abeg because I was
going to warn you to not compare me to how you were when you liked
Ibrahim but with what happened earlier, I know better than to make that
joke now.”
Ayra’s smile dropped and so did the badly bruised heart she was still trying
to piece together. She tried to put her smile back on but it was too hard so
she had to look away. Ibtihaj, who’d seen the brief internal struggle on her
best friend’s face, felt her chest squeeze once again. She reached out and
took Ayra’s hand in both of hers.
“Ayra, what’s going on?”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
329

Ayra swallowed and stared at the crack between the curtains on the
window, arranging all her thoughts so she could tell everything in
chronological order, no matter how painful it was going to be. After all, if
she needed Ibtihaj to help, the latter had to know every single thing.
“Ayra?”
Exhaling softly, Ayra turned back to her friend with eyes that turned glassy
with a fresh sheen of tears and a smile that a perfectly carved knife aimed at
Ibtihaj’s heart.
Staring at Ayra made Ibtihaj understand she had to brace herself for the
worst because she wasn’t sure she could completely recognise the Ayra in
front of her. With fear clawing at every part of her, Ibtihaj swallowed and
patted the back of Ayra’s hand, forcing a smile on her face. “I’m listening,
Ayra.” She said softly. “I’m always going to listen.”
With every ounce of courage she had gathered, Ayra opened her mouth.
“Do you remember the day we went to school to get our certificates and
other documents?”
Her heart in the pit of her chest, Ibtihaj nodded. “You said you wanted to
surprise Ibrahim with lunch or dinner and I was being my usual self about
it.”
Ayra’s smile bled with pure pain. “That dinner never happened, Ibty. Lunch
didn’t happen too.”
Ibtihaj’s heart dropped a little lower. “Ayra –”
“I’m going to tell you everything and I’ll show you what I have and I need
to listen to me, okay?”
For the first time in her life, Ibtihaj wasn’t sure she could trust her best
friend. However, she nodded, scared to death. “Okay.”
When Ayra started talking, Ibtihaj realised she should have expected the
absolute worst of the worst. With each word that slipped past Ayra’s lips,
Ibtihaj felt blood drain from her face and a chill run down her back. With
every story Ayra told, Ibtihaj’s heart dropped lower and lower until there
was nowhere else for it to go.
Disbelief held her tightly in its grasp and every other emotion came
together to form a cocktail that felt as though it would poison and drown
her if she let it. When Ibtihaj was sure it couldn’t get worse and that
everything had to be a sick, twisted dream, Ayra got her laptop from her
box and pulled up the folder with the necessary footages and pictures.
Turning the screen Ibtihaj’s way, Ayra felt play and the only thing that

LATIFAH EFUA A.
330

stopped Ibtihaj from screaming was the fact that she brought her hands up
to her mouth, pushing back every single sound.
It was one thing to hear it all and it was another thing entirely to watch it all
play out on the screen; evidence that harshly told Ibtihaj that it wasn’t a sick
and twisted dream. All of it was real and while she’d been touring the UK,
Ayra had been living in that reality.
The last footage, which had been gotten that very morning, ended but
Ibtihaj couldn’t bring herself to turn away from the screen until the laptop
went to sleep and the screen turned dark. Slowly, Ibtihaj turned her head
Ayra’s way.
Ayra, who still her small smile on despite the tears that slid down her
cheeks one after the other, managed to shrug. “That’s everything I
promised to tell you, Ibty. I hope you can understand why I kept it from
you and from everyone else all this time. It was in my best interest and if it
weren’t for the fact that I can no longer do this alone, I would have held on
for a little longer.”
Pain and guilt hit Ibtihaj first. Pain because out of every person, Ayra had to
be the one to be dealt fate’s cards of misfortune. It wasn’t as though she
wished misfortune on anyone but Ayra shouldn’t have been on the list
because if there was a person who deserved the world and everything good
it had to offer, Ayra was the perfect embodiment.
The guilt was that born out of the fact that while she’d been living her best
life and catching feelings for Adil, Ayra had been navigating her way
through lies, deceit and pain; all on her own although the women at the
masjid had helped in their own way.
Ibtihaj’s tears felt like little knives as they welled up in her eyes, disfiguring
her line of sight while the pain and guilt balled into one big ball that pressed
down on her. She choked on a sob; there was no way to avoid it and when
there was nothing else to do apart from succumb to her tears, Ibtihaj let
herself go. Like she hadn’t done in so long, Ibtihaj cried while her heart felt
as though it was cut open and left to bleed.
Doing nothing to wipe away her own tears, Ayra pushed the laptop aside
and shifted closer, pulling Ibtihaj into her embrace and providing the same
warmth she’d wanted since that day in August. Ibtihaj cried harder and Ayra
let herself cry too, both of them holding onto each other as they let it all
out.
They stayed there for a while, not caring about the time that ticked by.
When their tears dried, Ibtihaj’s anger began to simmer until it became an

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
331

uncontrollable blaze. She pulled back and angrily wiped away her tears. “I’m
going to kill them.”
There was a little flip, right in Ayra’s chest. “Ibty –”
Ibtihaj was already on her feet, slowly starting to see red while all that
blared in her mind was bloody murder. “I’m going to kill them! Starting
from Ibrahim, I’m going to kill them and then I’m going to gladly go to jail
for it. They can’t get away with it, Ayra, and I’m not even going to allow
you stop me.”
Ayra watched her best friend go towards the wardrobe and pull it open,
rage rolling off her in ways. Like every single time she’d turned to Ibtihaj
for help, she felt immense gratitude that there were people in her life who
were willing to do so much for her even when she didn’t know how to do
much for herself until now that she had no other choice but to learn.
By the time Ibtihaj put on an abaya, Ayra sighed quietly and stood, taking
small steps towards her best friend. “Ibty –”
Ibtihaj whirled around, still so mad. “No, Ayra, you should listen to me.”
She put her hands on Ayra’s shoulders. “Any other time, I would let you tell
me that Ibrahim and the others would come back and all would be fine.
Any other time, I would let you go back even when all I want to do was pull
you away from him and then.”
Ayra’s chest had another flip when Ibtihaj’s eyes glassed over, the grip on
her – Ayra’s – shoulders tightening.
“Any other time, I’d let you tell me to calm down but not this time, Ayra. I’m
not going to listen to you this time. They went too far and they all deserve
to die and if I need to spend the rest of my life in jail, repenting for my sins,
I’ll do it. So please, do not try to stop me. Don’t even tell me you’re going
back there. We’re going to forget about them once I’ve fed them to the wild
animals in the zoo and –” She choked over a sob. “God, they need to die
and be ruined. You don’t deserve all of this. I don’t wish this on anyone but
you of all people didn’t deserve this.”
Smiling sadly yet beautifully, Ayra reached up and cupped Ibtihaj’s face.
“Ibty, I need you to listen to me.”
“Ayra –”
“Please, Ibty. Just listen to me.”
Ibtihaj glared tearily. “If you mention anything about going back there or
something along the line of forgiveness, I swear to God, na here I go kill
you.”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
332

Ayra let out a small laugh before she sighed. “Ibty, I’m going to go back
there.”
Ibtihaj’s heart dropped and the rage came back in full force. “Ayra, shó wá
–”
“It’s not because I want to, Ibty, but because I have to. I have to go back,
for my sake more than anything else.”
“Why?!” Ibtihaj shook her best friend the way she always did when she
needed Ayra to see reason. “Why?!”
Ayra’s sad smile returned. “I’ve only told you the things I know of, Ibty, but
there’s still so much left to uncover and I don’t think I’ll be able to leave or
be at peace with myself if I don’t get to the end of it. I want to know
everything so that when I leave, I won’t keep asking myself what I did to
deserve all of this. I don’t want to leave and still wonder how I came into
the picture and how they knew so much about me to the extent that they
knew the roles to play; roles that deceived me totally and deceived you too.”
Ibtihaj felt as though she’d been stabbed repeatedly and her emotions were
back to being that poisonous cocktail.
Tears welled up in Ayra’s eyes. “I need to do this, Ibty, and I can no longer
do it alone so I’m here with you because you’re the only one I can open up
to right now. The others I opened up to are the sisters in the masjid but
they don’t know me as well as you do. I don’t think anyone, apart from my
parents, does.”
She blew out a small breath, trying to hold the tears back. “I don’t like
staying there, Ibty, and you have no idea how draining it is to pretend to
still be the girl who’s helplessly in love with Ibrahim. You have no idea how
much it hurts to see him almost every single day, to not flinch when we
have to touch or kiss or hug, to smile at everyone else and act like I can’t
see them for who they truly are.”
Ibtihaj’s restraint on her tears began to snap and Ayra blew out another
breath, moving her hands to Ibtihaj’s shoulders. “You don’t know how
hard it is to stay there, Ibty, knowing that although I changed a lot of things
in the house, it’ll always be a house that Bella worked on and left pieces of
her inside. This is hard for me, Ibty, especially when I have to pretend as
though I’m not hurt; as though I’m not trying to find my footing or even as
though I don’t hate the fact that there’s still one part of me that still craves
everything I had and –”
Her voice broke, breaking Ibtihaj too. “I don’t want to do this, Ibty, but I
have to. For my peace of mind, for my eventual closure – no matter how

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
333

painful it’ll be to get there, for everything, I need to do this, Ibty. I need to
know what led to this web of lies being created and why I had to be
dragged into this. I need to do this so I need you to understand and I know
it won’t be easy but I need you to pretend as though you don’t have any
idea too, until we figure it all out. You will get your chance to ruin and kill
them and believe me, I won’t do anything to stop or pull you back but
please. Until then, please trust me.”
She began to cry. “Please help me and please trust me, Ibty. Please.”
The flame of rage died out and Ibtihaj hugged Ayra again, both of them
breaking one more time. It went without saying that Ibtihaj was going to
trust and help. No matter how hard it was going to be, especially when they
all – she, Ayra, Ibrahim, and the squad – had to meet along with every other
lying piece on the chess board they’d spread out.
Ibtihaj was willing to do anything. She loved Ayra that much.

LATIFAH EFUA A.
334

33
Monday morning was grey and dull and it met Ibrahim in his personal
studio; a place only he and the squad knew about. A place only he and Bella
had access to.
The smell of fresh paint hung in the air, the entire space so quiet to the
extent that Ibrahim could hear his breaths as he slowly slid out of the
bewitched mode he went into each time he had to paint. In his chest, the
heaviness was back and in his mind, there was only one thought: that he
had had officially lost it.
The painting he’d taken an entire day to complete stared back at him.
Unlike the pride he should have that came with a completed work, Ibrahim
felt a mix of things; uncertainty, absurdity, confusion, and fear.
In front of him, on the thirty by forty inches canvas, was a painting of Ayra;
his second painting of her and the first one where he didn’t have to do it
for an ulterior motive. His first painting of her – the one which he’d hung
in her room before they’d gotten married – was to make her feel special and
to further rope her into him.
The painting in front of him, however, wasn’t supposed to exist yet it did.
He’d come to studio when staying at the apartment alone had begun to feel
as though he was being haunted. When the urge to paint had hit, he’d given
into it, allowing it bewitch him and pull him into the world he knew all too
well. He’d started the painting with Bella in mind but along the line, he’d
gone off course. Instead of the red dress he’d pictured, he’d brought to life
one that was pink. Dark curls with red highlights replaced the ones of the
woman he’d loved for years. For her face, he’d used his signature butterflies
but even a dummy would know it was Ayra.
He’d painted the memory of her on her birthday back in July; capturing her
mid-twirl, the pink dress he’d gotten a beautiful cloud around her, while her
hair was the one she had on since he’d returned from Fiji.
His chest squeezed as he accepted the fact that this had to be his best
painting but he couldn’t bring himself to love it, quite unsure of how
exactly he was supposed to feel and why Ayra was now ingraining herself in
nearly every part of his mind although they’d been together for quite a
while.
Sighing, he put his brush down and then put the palette aside, telling
himself to get it together although he’d been telling himself to do just that
for a near month. He then removed his apron, turning back to the painting.
He reached a conclusion then that no one, except him, could see it. He
could imagine how the others would react, especially Bella, and he honestly

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
335

wasn’t sure he was ready to deal with that. It was the first time he felt like a
criminal and it felt like an itch he couldn’t get to no matter how he tried.
Too many emotions swirling within him at the same time, he began to put
his things together so he could clean up. He glanced at his phone screen as
he moved with the brushes, his chest squeezing once again when he
reminded himself it’d been over twenty-four hours and he’d not heard from
Ayra; something that had never happened before.
She always texted, even though in recent times her texts had reduced, and
not hearing from her did things to him; things he wasn’t sure he wanted to
decipher. Pushing the thought down, he washed his brushes and then laid
them out to dry before proceeding to clean up the splotches of paint and
remove the protective cover he’d spread on the floor around the canvas.
He’d just finished when his phone rang and it was funny how a twinge of
disappointment settled in his stomach when he saw that it wasn’t Ayra
calling. It was Bella.
Ensuring his hands were dry, he picked up the device and accepted the call
before bringing the phone to his ear. “Sevgilim.”
“Good morning to you too, Serkan. It’s so nice to know that your phone is
finally reachable.”
He leaned against the nearest wall, his newest painting drawing his line of
sight like a moth drawn to flame. Even while painted with her face covered,
Ayra was so beautiful that it actually did hurt. He refocused on the
conversation. “I’m sorry. I just had a rough day and night so…”
“Where are you? I’ve rang your doorbell thrice but no one’s answering. Not
even Ayra.”
He reached up to massage his temple. “No one’s home.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Serkan, it’s barely seven AM on a Monday
morning. Where are you?”
He kept massaging his temple, looking away from the painting. “I’m at the
studio. I had a painting to work on because it wouldn’t leave my head.”
Her voice dropped to a dangerous whisper. “Please tell me you didn’t take
Ayra there.”
He nearly laughed humourlessly. “I didn’t.” Her painting which stood in the
middle of the space felt like he did. “I’m not that stupid, Bella.”
“So why is no one home? Where’s Ayra then if you’re in the studio?”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
336

Although he knew it would eventually lead to an argument, he told her the
truth. “Ibty returned on Saturday night and Ayra’s been there ever since.”
The moment that followed was quietly tense and then she spoke, her voice
was back to being a dangerous whisper. “Sei solo da sabato sera (You’ve been
alone since Saturday night).”
He let his hand drop from his temple back to his side. “Proprio sabato sera
(Just Saturday night). I’ve been painting since yesterday.”
“And you didn’t think it was important to let me know that?”
He sighed. “Bella –”
“I slept off wondering if you were coming home on Saturday night
although you weirdly said you couldn’t sleep over or at least stay late until
you had to go up to meet Ayra. While I wondered if you would come home
or not, you were actually alone?” She laughed dryly. “Wow, Serkan, wow.”
Not having anything to say, something that hadn’t happened in a while,
Ibrahim let his head drop, staying quiet. Thankfully for him, she continued.
“And then you’re unreachable throughout yesterday which made me
worried. While it was tempting to barge into yours and Ayra’s apartment, I
didn’t want to face her and all that time, you were painting and she wasn’t
around while I was losing it at home.”
“Bella –”
“I normally have access to you at any time, Serkan, even when you’re
painting but this weekend has been all shades of weird. Now that I think
about it, everything has been somewhat weird since we returned from Fiji.
It’s what we spoke about on Saturday, isn’t it? She’s acting weird, according
to you, and it’s getting to you. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”
Something unfamiliar crept up the back of his neck. “Drop it, Bella.”
“Why should I? Ibrahim, do you have any idea how I feel right now? I’ve
been worried sick and all along, you’ve been alone and Ayra’s been gone
and I had no idea neither was I able to reach you. Now you want me to
drop it? Ibrahim, che diavolo? (What the hell?)”
Whatever it was he felt, it crept even upwards; headed straight towards his
mind. “I’m sorry, okay?” He wasn’t; that much was startlingly clear to him.
“I know you all said it’s a little destabilising to get used to how much she’s
changed but it’s been a lot for me and Ayra surprisingly telling me she’s
leaving for Ibty’s on that same Saturday was also a lot so I’m sorry I

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
337

worried you but I’m not sorry for taking yesterday for myself. I needed it
for my sanity, Bella, and I need you to understand that.”
“Are we seriously about to fight because of Ayra?”
He was tempted to smash his head against the wall. “Bella…”
The silence that followed was heavy and he hated how confused it made
him; how everything felt as though it would spiral into something he won’t
be able to stop from blowing up into way too many pieces. Eventually,
Bella blew out a long breath and his chest squeezed. That unfamiliar feeling
kept spreading and he could feel a migraine coming.
“It’s Monday, Ibrahim.” She eventually said. “You promised you’d be at
work today.”
He had forgotten but he knew better than to say that. He sighed and
nodded although she wasn’t there. “I’ll be there. I’ll just clean up and then
head home.”
“Okay.”
They weren’t okay, he knew it, and it was the first time it drained him in a
way he couldn’t explain. “Bella –”
“Serkan and Aliana would be here by Friday night and we’ll be having
dinner with them on Saturday. I’d text Ayra since I’m supposed to be the
happy person whose lover is finally coming home but I don’t think I want
to do that…No, I definitely do not want to do that. Not when she’s starting
to affect us.”
“Bella –”
“I’ll see you at the office, Serkan. I’d ask what you painted but I’m really
not in the mood so I’ll probably see it when I get the chance to come over.
There’s a meeting at noon for a new programme Jalal came up with. You
don’t want to miss it.”
She hung up on her end and he lowered the phone, his emotions and
thoughts a jumbled mess. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe but it
didn’t help. Moving around the studio didn’t help too and when there
wasn’t much else he could do, he stopped in the middle of the space; right
in front of the new painting.
His chest tightened and he looked down at the phone that was still in his
hand. No calls from her, no messages, and he was losing it like he’d never
done before. Knowing until he pleased Bella, the day was going to be shitty,
he drew in a long breath and slowly blew it back out.

LATIFAH EFUA A.
338

He was confusedly drained in every way possible and the day had barely
started.
♣
The dining room in the Adeola home was a detective’s dream.
It was littered with a lot of papers, pens, and Ayra’s notes which she’d
camouflaged as novels she knew Ibrahim would never read; something
Ibtihaj had found very, very smart. There were highlighted names and
words, printed pictures, and lines that linked two likely happenings
together. There were question marks too; in areas where some things didn’t
add up and in places that needed more clarity.
Ayra sighed as she descended the stairs, rolling up the sleeves of her the
cashmere sweater she wore over her favourite trousers which she borrowed
from Ibtihaj each time she slept over. Her hair was in a single braid, the red
highlights a striking contrast against the dark curls. Although it had been a
little over twenty-four hours, she was looking much better than she’d done
in over a month since everything in the new phase of her life began.
She took in the empty dining room before finding her way to the kitchen, a
smile appearing on her face at the sight of her best friend at the island and
the aroma that reached her nose. Ibtihaj had made Indomie noodles and
Ayra was glad as she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had them. Also,
Ibtihaj made a noodle dish that was worth dying for.
“I did not want to cook anything and since you were still taking time in the
bathroom, I said lemme cook indomie.” Ibtihaj put forks in both bowls of
noodles and fried eggs before pushing one towards Ayra who’d stopped on
the other side of the island. Ibtihaj’s smile was small but warm, hiding the
rage that still simmered underneath. “How far?”
Ayra nodded once, pulling out a stool and occupying it. “I’m okay. Much
better than I was yesterday.”
“Better. We’re still killing them.”
Ayra laughed, nodding. “Yes, Ibty. We’re still killing them. That’s not going
to change.”
Pacified, Ibtihaj smiled satisfactorily and pulled out another stool so she
could sit beside her best friend. Her smile turned small but pretty. “Adil
called when you were in the bathroom. He wanted to say hi to you but
omo, you were wasting time.”
“You should have told me! I would have rushed out.”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
339

“Abeg, abeg, na you know that one. He’ll call another day and you’ll be able
to talk to him.”
Ayra picked her fork. “I don’t like you right now.”
Ibtihaj snorted. “Be lying to yourself.”
They ate in silence for a bit before Ibtihaj spoke again. “Collin got back to
me this morning.” She watched as Ayra straightened. “There are available
flights to all the destinations we’ve highlighted from now until the middle
of October. From the middle of October, prices would be higher as the
festive period approaches so if we’re going to travel, we’ll have to make up
our mind soon as to when we’d want to leave, how long we’d want to be
away, and how long we’d spend in each place.”
Although the food had lost a little taste, Ayra took a hearty bite, chewed
and swallowed before nodding. “Okay. We’ll think about it. That was fast
of him though.”
Ibtihaj’s smile was evil. “When I have something I can use to blackmail
him, he knows better than to not answer me.”
“Ibty!”
“Abeg shift.” Her smile slid off her face a moment later and then she
sighed. “I was thinking this morning.”
Ayra’s stomach dropped a little. “I’m not sure I like the sound of that.”
“Wó, you will still listen to me.” Ibtihaj lowered her fork. “I don’t think I’ll
be able to hold back from causing damage if I’m in the same room with
those idiots.”
“Ibty –”
“I will try, for your sake and for the sake of the fact that all of this is for the
greater good. But, I think to be on the safe side I’ll like to limit how many
times I’ll see them. I know they know we’ll always attend events together
and until we call this marriage off, there are going to be events. I just want
you to know that while I will be pretending as though I don’t want to
commit murder, I won’t be able to attend all of it. I will kill them if I do and
I don’t trust my mouth to not run.”
Ayra nodded after a moment passed. “That’s understandable. You holding
back for now is already more than enough for me.”
Ibtihaj rolled her eyes. “How many times do I want to tell you that there’s
only so much I wouldn’t do for you? Ehn?”
Ayra let out a small laugh. “Get away.”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
340

“Also,” Ibtihaj’s serious tone returned. “I wanted to ask you something.
Can you do this?”
Ayra’s brows furrowed slightly, confusion a beautiful expression on her
face. “Can I do what?”
“We’re about to dig deep into all of this, Ayra, and I know we would find a
lot of things we won’t like and it’s going to hurt you, a lot. During this time,
you’ll have to keep acting as though everything’s fine. You’re going to keep
transitioning like you told Ibrahim but you do realise that while all of this is
going on, you’re still going to be his wife, right?”
Ayra’s appetite disappeared and her throat dried as the words sunk in.
Ibtihaj, who kept her eyes on the other’s, continued. “I know you won’t be
clingy to him the way you were before and you won’t always stay in the
same space with him but you do realise you’ll have to keep having
conversations with him, you’ll have to hug him, kiss him, and do everything
else, right? After all, you’re still married to him and although I want to kill
him and take you far away from him, he has no idea that we know what we
do so at one point, he’s going to expect things from you. So can you do it,
Ayra?
“If we are to push forward with this, you have to be sure that you can
because if there’s something I realised this morning while talking with
Collin, it’s that this is going to be big and you said acting so far has been
draining but we’re going to have to keep acting; in front of our families, in
front of those devils that we called friends at some point, in front of
Ibrahim…We’re going to keep acting and you’ll have to act more than me
because you’re going back to that house again and again, as long as we’re
still both in Aomi. So, Ayra, can you do this?”
It felt as though her chest was being clawed at when there were marks that
were yet to heal. Ayra swallowed the lump in her throat with little difficulty,
the words and the gravity of the situation swirling in her head. She’d had
those thoughts cross her mind once or twice but she never sat down to
really understand it all, until now. All she’d been focused on was how to get
answers to every question she had, ignoring how she’d have to act while
getting those answers that were going to sting in so many ways; something
she was very sure of.
She tried to picture it; acting even better than she’d done, pushing away
everything she’d learned while being intimate with Ibrahim, just like before.
Her chest squeezed and too many bells went off in her head, repulsiveness
hitting her perfectly well. So far, every little – and chaste – kiss and hug had
taken a lot from her and she’d done her best to stay away from him more

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
341

than she used to. But moving forward, she asked herself how long that
would be enough. He’d already kissed her in a way she wasn’t used to on
Saturday night when he’d dropped her off at Ibtihaj’s and like Ibtihaj said,
until she decided it was time to leave, she was still his wife and he had rights
over her even though she was now leaning towards disinterest in most of
the rights she had over him.
It was going to be hard, that much was clear, and it was going to take so, so
much from her. But they couldn’t move on without it. She couldn’t get
everything she was searching for without it and it hurt, much more than
she’d expected it to.
Ibtiahj felt another stab of pain at the sight of Ayra’s inner turmoil, her –
Ayra’s – eyes filling up slowly with tears that welled. Ibtihaj told herself not
to cry. “Ayra…”
Ayra sniffled. “I’ll try.” She wiped away the tear that slipped. “It’ll kill me
over and over again but I have to try. It’s a sacrifice I’ll have to make in
order to get away from him and the others for good so I have to do this. I’ll
try my best, Ibty. You’ll help me on days when it gets too hard, right?”
Ibtihaj took Ayra’s hand in hers. “You don’t even have to ask. I’m always
going to be a phone call away and I don’t care how late it is. Even if it
means us booking a hotel room just so my parents and your parents don’t
suspect anything until you’re ready to tell them, I’ll do it. You mean the
world to me, Ayra, and for hurting you, Olorun nikan ni yoo gba won Ibrahim
from the deaths I have planned for them.”
Ayra let out a teary laugh. “I don’t understand that one very well.”
Ibtihaj smiled like an innocent child. “That’s even better.”
Ayra laughed again before a sob lodged itself in her throat. “I love you so
much, Ibty.”
Ibtihaj softly squeezed the hand that was in hers. “I love you too. Oya, eat
and let us go back to our detective work. We’ve already finalised that we’ll
be going to the UK, Turkey, and South Africa before we come back here to
Atlantica to figure out everything else. Let’s finalise the list of all the places
we’ll visit there and also the people who might help. Then, we can get
started on our travel plans and we’ll come up with the lies we need to tell
those ozwors.” She hissed. “They’ll just be making good girls like us lie.”
“Allah will forgive us. It’s not like we are doing it on purpose.”
“True. He will forgive us…When we’re not working on our plans, I’ll help
you practice your acting skills. I’ll practice mine too. And if that stupid

LATIFAH EFUA A.
342

Ibrahim comes to do that nonsense thing that they do inside film where the
man will now be loving the woman because she changed from the woman
he knew her to be, it’s me and him that will enter one trouser.”
Thinking back to the conversation they’d had in the parking lot on that
same Saturday and the way he’d been extra touchy and gentle, Ayra felt raw
fear at the possibility of that happening. Ibtihaj gently squeezing her hand
again brought her back to the present.
“Ayra,” Ibtihaj spoke softly. “You know better now than you did before so
even if that ends up happening, you’re not the same person he got married
to. Also, if you try anything mad, you know I will knock sense into you.
Don’t forget I still know how to shake you like rag and ask ‘Sho wa alright
ni?’”
Ayra could only laugh, gratitude a tiny seed that grew in her chest and every
other part of her being.
“In fact,” Ibtihaj continues. “It’s even good if he ends up loving you
because he’s mad for pulling you along all this time. He should even love
sef, so that it will pain him die. I want to see what he’ll do when that
happens because there’s no way he’s going to leave Bella that easily and all
will be well, especially when she and the others find out it’s because of
you.”
Ayra felt slight discomfort. “I don’t want things to get too messy.”
“Wó, at this point, my dear, things are going to get messy but we’ll do our
best to not be on the side that’s messy.” Ibtihaj offered an assuring smile.
“Let’s just focus on what we have to do and let everything else happen the
way it wants to. If Ibro starts to fall, just be looking at him and remind
yourself that he had all this time to do so, he just wanted to be mad.
Remind yourself that he took your sincere love for granted and so he no
longer deserves it because you were ready to offer him everything you had
to give. Everything he’ll want to give now is going to be too little and it’s
going to be coming when things are too late.”
Ayra allowed the words get engraved in her head, focusing on the part
where everything Ibrahim would give from that moment on would only be
too little and too late.
“You’re going to be fine, Ayra.” Ibtihaj said. “And I will be with you all the
way. When our parents get involved, they’ll be with us too and we will get
you out of here and you will get better. In Shaa Allah you’ll only get
stronger and stronger and you’ll get to live the very best of lives. You’re
going to be fine, I promise. Okay?”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
343

Barely holding back her tears, Ayra nodded. “Okay.”
“I love you, Ayra. I always have, even on the days you nearly wanted me to
kill you, and In Shaa Allah I always will.”
Letting out another teary laugh that had her dimples popping, Ayra sniffled.
“I love you too. Adil will never come close to how much I love you.”
Ibtihaj was left blushing and she playfully hit Ayra’s arm. “Stop it jor!”
Unable to help it, Ayra started laughing again and Ibtihaj had no other
choice but to join in. Upstairs, in Ibtihaj’s room, Ayra’s phone beeped, a
new message lighting up the screen.
Anneth: Ayra, love! It’s been so long and I’m so going to apologise for
how long it’s been once we see each other. However, I have wonderful
news! Serkan (yes, Bella’s lover) is coming into town on Friday so
they’re inviting us all for dinner at their place on Saturday. Bella’s
too excited and Ibrahim is supposed to be the one inviting you but I
got ahead of myself. See you then! Please extend the invitation to Ibty
too! Looking forward to seeing you both there. Ciao!

LATIFAH EFUA A.
344

34
At exactly 11:59AM, Ibrahim pushed the meeting room’s door open and
stepped in, his head hosting a gentle throb he knew was going to get worse
as he’d barely slept since Saturday night.
Every person in the room – the squad and some other employees – turned
his way. He didn’t bother to fake a smile as he closed the door and headed
straight to his chair, noticing how Bella – who sat on the opposite side of
the table – turned her head, away from him. Frustration and irritation
nicked at him but he pushed it down and looked away too, towards the
others who watched them with varying emotions.
Ibrahim only felt more irritated. “Aren’t we getting started? We don’t have
all day.”
Jalal jumped from his chair, a lazy smile on his face. “You’re right. We
certainly don’t. Also, we have very important issues we’ll have to attend to
after this. Right, Ibrahim?”
Ibrahim’s reply was an icy glare; something he hadn’t given out in quite a
long time. Unfazed, Jalal only smiled wider and went on to power the
projector, his presentation appearing on the screen a minute later while a
secretary passed printed copies around. Breathing in and out, Ibrahim told
himself to focus. Although it took a minute longer than he would have
liked, he slipped into business mode.
Jalal’s proposed application brought together a number of their already
existing applications but rather than for the general public, he wanted them
to have it targeted at tertiary institutions within and outside the country.
From student representative elections to reigning spots on campus
alongside student reviews, the idea was brilliant and Ibrahim had no doubt
it would scale through seamlessly up to testing level; something Jalal knew
all too well, judging by the proud smirk on his face.
When the presentation ended and everyone agreed with the idea to be
pushed forward, feedback was given on the restructuring of the
management board. The crucial spaces had been filled with extremely
competent individuals and whatever was left was to be filled by the end of
the week. Full implementation of the new company front was to be at the
end of October and each department was ready to work towards it.
Little issues were then discussed and Bella was the one who brought the
meeting to a close. One by one, the other employees left the room and it
wasn’t long before only the squad remained. Whistling happily, Tobi
strolled to the door and slid the lock in place while Anneth pressed the
button that allowed the blinds go shut, blocking out every prying eye

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
345

although employees hardly came that way unless they were after something.
Jalal then put his hands on the table and leaned forward.
“So,” He said, looking from Bella to Ibrahim. “What’s going on, Serkan and
Sevgilim?”
Bella shrugged before leaning back in her seat, her arms folded across her
chest. “Nothing. Puoi chiedere a Serkan peró (You can ask Serkan though).”
Ibrahim stopped toying with his pen, a brow raised. “Seriously?”
Anneth leaned on the desk. “Guys, let’s not make this worse. We should be
fixing whatever’s wrong. So…What happened?”
Ibrahim looked at Bella and she looked away. Biting back an irritated scoff,
he turned to the others and the question that had been swirling around his
head all morning slipped past his lips before he could even think of
stopping it. “Why did we go ahead with this?”
Anneth, Tobi, and Jalal exchanged confused looks before turning back to
him the same time Bella did. His brows drawn together, Tobi asked “What
are you talking about?”
Ibrahim mirrored his lover’s stance; his arms folded, his body leaning back.
“Me marrying Ayra, Serkan being Bella’s periodical lover; all of it. Why did
we go ahead with it?”
Bella scoffed. “Is this a joke?”
“I’m not laughing about it, am I?”
She glared and he stared right back. Anneth, clearly quite uncomfortable,
cleared her throat to get their attention. She gave Ibrahim a small smile
when he reluctantly turned her way. “I don’t know if memory’s failing you
but we did it to get your parents off our backs so you could be with Bella
without worrying about anything else.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, you were going to pretend to be worried about
Ayra but then your relationship with Bella was the main reason why we
went through with it. Since your parents weren’t going to allow you be with
Bella, we gave them someone they would like. While they got content with
that, you got your lover so…Why? Are you regretting it?”
Ibrahim looked away from her, back towards Bella. “I didn’t say that.”
“Then why did you ask?” Jalal asked. He then raised a brow. “Things aren’t
getting complicated, right? You’re not about to tell us you’re starting to feel
something towards Ayra, right?”

LATIFAH EFUA A.
346

It was scary for Ibrahim how fast his defences came up and how the
objection hit him fair and square. He threw a dark look Jalal’s way. “Are
you out of your mind?”
Jalal raised his hands. “Easy, Ibrahim. What on earth did you want me to
think? You can’t be asking that question if things weren’t getting
complicated. What else would be more complicated than you coming to say
you have feelings for her?”
Bella laughed but it was way too light; way too fake. “Non essere assurdo, Jalal
(Don’t be absurd, Jalal).”
Tobi shrugged, sitting beside Jalal. “He does have a point though.”
Ibrahim ignored the unfamiliar way his heart beat in chest and then tried to
ignore the bitter taste in his mouth as he told them “There’s nothing
between Ayra and I except the marriage that binds us together. I know
better than to look at her that way.”
“Then why are you asking why we went through with all of this?” Bella
asked, speaking to him directly for the first time since their phone call
earlier that morning. “Why would you bring that up?”
Ibrahim sighed. “I’ve been thinking about it, that’s all. I’ve been thinking
about everything that’s happened since we came back from Fiji and also
everything that happened this weekend, up until our phone call this
morning, and it wouldn’t leave my head.”
Anneth’s lips thinned. “Please tell me both of you didn’t get into this
situation because of Ayra.” When silence was all she got in reply, she
scoffed in disbelief. “Guys, what the hell?!”
Ibrahim ignored her and focused on Bella. “Remember when we decided to
push through with it?”
“How could I forget?” Bella held his gaze, her expression calm and
composed although she wasn’t in anyway internally calm or composed.
“You were the last person to buy into the idea but we were quite
persuasive.”
“You all were, especially you. I loved you enough to not say no to you.
That’s not the point I’m trying to make though. Out of everyone here, I
think it’s safe to say I learned the most about Ayra and I spent more time
doing so than anyone else did.”
“Well,” Tobi spoke before Bella could. “You were the one marrying her so
you had to be the one to know her better than we did. However, that

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
347

doesn’t mean we didn’t learn much about her too. Do you know how much
information is in that folder of her? Don’t get me started on Ibty.”
Jalal shuddered. “It was worse than getting a PhD.”
“Bro!”
Ibrahim cut back in. “I learned everything I could about her to I could play
my role well. I ensured it was more than enough to know her like the back
of my hand and be able to predict what she’d say, how she’d react, and how
she’d go about things with or without our advices and Ibty’s. When there
was something new, I had to commit that to memory too and mind you,
while doing this, I had to be the Ibrahim who led this company with all of
you, the Ibrahim my parents wanted so they wouldn’t see through the lies
we were weaving even though we haven’t ever been on good terms, and I
had to be your Serkan, Bella. I had to be all of those while being the exact
person Ayra wanted.”
Anneth’s expression softened a little. “Ibrahim –”
He didn’t want to listen to whatever it was she had to say. “It wasn’t easy
but because I was going to be able to be with you without my parents’
continuous disapproval, I put up with it all and I found a balance that’s
been working out well until Ayra’s graduation when you and I ended up
fighting because of the spontaneous decision to take her to Santorini. I
made that up to you and we went to Fiji and I come back to meet a woman
I can’t recognise to the extent that it’s impossible to even try to predict
what she’s going to do next. I know on Saturday you all said it was a little
destabilising for me but you all don’t know half of what I felt. You don’t
know half of what I’ve been feeling since I stepped into a house that had
been turned upside down by a woman who seems the same but isn’t.”
No one said a word and Ibrahim continued, trying to put a lid on every
emotion that brewed in one big pot in his chest. Not once did he turn away
from Bella.
“You think it was easy to stay home and not leave in the last three weeks?
While trying to keep the balance that was starting to tilt, I was also trying to
navigate through what was different with Ayra and try to piece everything
together but you have no idea how fucking hard that was because I didn’t
say anything; because I kept being the Ibrahim everyone wanted even when
I couldn’t understand myself.”
Bella stared right back but the iciness in her gaze was gone, replaced by a
stubbornness he was used to.

LATIFAH EFUA A.
348

“And then on Saturday, when you all showed up, I thought it’d be better to
just put it out there and I did and you all brushed it off as it being
something little and that this is what we’ve always wanted so there was no
big deal about it. Trust me, guys, I heard every word you all said but I don’t
think you all understood that it wasn’t so little. I wasn’t going to say it out
loud though so I put it at the back of my head and tried to get back on
track. We went home, Bella, and I stayed with you and everyone else the
entire day. If I was in the right state of mind, nothing would have stopped
me from coming back once Ayra was asleep but I wasn’t in the right state
of mind and I headed up only to meet Ayra leaving with a box. If you can
put myself in my shoes, you should be able to try and imagine all that could
have run through my head in that moment.”
Anneth, Tobi, and Jalal were alert and they looked from one person to the
other, trying to understand what was going on.
“Then she says she’s going to Ibty’s and when I point out that the box is
too big for just one night, she tells me she’s staying for a little longer. This
is someone whose schedule I used to have in my head so I could work
things around for you, me, and the squad but I’m being spontaneously told
on the same day I’m trying to put it into my head that I need to get back on
track that she’s leaving for Ibty’s and she won’t be back.”
The memory was clear in his head but he couldn’t bring himself to tell them
he’d pleaded with Ayra to drive her to Plum Boulevard. Swallowing, he
continued, skipping over details. “I drove her down and had to see her
parents because it’s actually been a while and it’s surprising they haven’t
called us yet. I dropped her off with Ibty right after.”
The memory of the kiss they shared was like lava in his head; hot and
leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. Ibrahim’s chest squeezed and the
pot of simmering emotions nearly toppled over. He knew better than to
share that memory and even if he could share it with them, he didn’t want
to. He never wanted to.
“We said very weird goodnights and since then, I’ve dealt with too many
thoughts and too many voices in my head to the extent that I’ve been
painting since yesterday.”
He ignored the way the others’ eyes widened. “Turning my phone off was
necessary. I know I should have let you and the others know I was slipping
into a space but it was the last thing on my mind. Like I told you this
morning, Bella, I’m sorry I made you worry but I’m not sorry for taking this
weekend to myself to try and clear my head. Just so you know, my head’s
still not clear and I really don’t like fighting with you but here we are.”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
349

He let out a breath, feeling even more drained than he did earlier that
morning. He shut his eyes briefly and when he opened them, they were an
open book; swirling with the emotions that toppled against each other. “I
just need you all to understand that this period has been a lot for me and
I’m trying to navigate through all of it.”
“So what?” Bella finally asked. “We leave you be until you can sort
everything out with your wife?”
Ibrahim stopped himself last minute from hitting his head against the top
of the table. He settled with massaging his temple while the others – Jalal,
Anneth, and Tobi – looked like they’d rather be anywhere else.
“Obviously, this whole arrangement hasn’t been easy on any of us but the
aim of it all was for you and me, Serkan. Yet it feels like even that’s getting
affected and it all comes back to Ayra. Everything comes back to Ayra.”
Ibrahim lowered his hand. “That’s not true and you know it. We both knew
what we were getting ourselves into and I’ve done my best to ensure my
relationship with you didn’t suffer in any way. Sure, there were times where
things got strained but I made it up to you every single time. This is the first
time things are slipping out of my control and all I’m asking is for you to be
patient and understanding.”
“That’s it. I should be patient and understanding for how long? It’s already
been three weeks, Serkan. How much longer is this going to take?”
He didn’t have an answer to give her and the realisation had him simply
staring back at her, his jaw tightly clenched to the extent his teeth ground
against each other.
Anneth, who knew things were heading towards an explosion, pushed
herself off the desk. “Okay, let’s take a moment to pull back a bit.” She let
out a quiet but relieved breath when Ibrahim and Bella looked away from
each other. Putting a smile on her smile, she brought her hands together.
“Ibrahim, you’re going through a phase and thank you for letting us see
how in-depth it actually is. This says more than our conversation on
Saturday did.”
Ibrahim stared at the screen on the wall, his arms folded. Anneth
continued. “But I still stand by what we said on Saturday. This is a
destabilising period, just not as little as we’d thought, and I don’t think
there’s any reason why you won’t be able to get used to whatever is going
on with Ayra. We will understand but Bella also has a point. You’ve already
taken three weeks and if we have to be patient and understanding, we have
to know for how much longer. Bella especially needs to know because at

LATIFAH EFUA A.
350

the end of the day you two are in a relationship that has stood the test of a
decade and I think it’s worth more than this…thing that’s going on with
Ayra.”
Jalal and Tobi nodded, speaking like twins. “Exactly.”
Bella looked at Ibrahim who kept his gaze on the screen. The throb in his
head that had been gentle as at the time he’d stepped into the room was
now gaining momentum and he tried to not show it.
“Like Nate said on Saturday, Ayra’s change and withdrawal is for our own
benefit. As long as she’s not doing anything we should be wary of, then we
shouldn’t be too bothered. I think you should take this week and just try to
get things on track. I’m not saying it’s going to be easiest thing to do but
remember why we started all of this in the first place. It was for you and
Bella and you two fighting because of the other woman isn’t really going in
line with the aim of all this so…”
She turned to Bella. “And you, my Isabella, let’s be a little more
understanding and patient this week.” She smiled wider. “I know Ibrahim’s
going to come around by the time Serkan and Aliana arrive.” She turned
Ibrahim’s way. “Right, Serkan Fahad?”
Ibrahim finally turned from the screen. He stared at her for a moment
before he nodded, once. “Right.” Every part of him screamed in protest,
saying he wouldn’t be able to do it; not when Ayra was getting stuck in
every part of him. He forced on a small smile. “I’ll come around by the time
Serkan and Aliana arrive.”
Anneth clapped her hands once, clearly delighted. “See? We’ll be
fine…Now, Tobi and Jalal, let’s give them space to have their own
discussion. They need it.”
Jalal pouted. “Do we really need to?”
She glared, all warmth gone. “Jalal Ahmad and Oluwatobiloba Enioluwa!”
They knew better than to stay there. Both men said byes and hurried out.
Anneth grinned at Bella and Ibrahim when she got to the door. “You both
should kiss and make up. We’ll be fine, okay?”
They didn’t give her a reply and she didn’t mind. She walked out and closed
the door behind her. A quiet minute passed before Bella sighed, unfolding
her arms. “I don’t like fighting with you.”
“And you think I do?”
“This weekend was a lot for me and I was so, so worried.”

TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE
351

“And I tried explaining things to you but it came to us fighting about Ayra.”
“Serkan.”
“Sevgilim.”
She sighed again and then pushed her chair back. Standing, she walked
around the table and Ibrahim’s face stayed composed as she sat on his laps,
her hands going to his shoulders. Her eyes held his. “She’s becoming a big